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Drew and Mike Drew & Mike Podcast

 

Welcome to the Drew and Mike Fan Site!

Now in our 18th year, we are neither a business, nor a religion, but a public service institution. Your ORIGINAL source for sound clips, drop-ins, and songs. A wonderful companion to all things Drew and Mike, if I do say so myself.



Latest Audio Additions

  • New! [ Download ] (102k) jackson1.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Da da da da da ah ah ah ah da da da, who!"

  • New! [ Download ] (14k) jackson2.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Ow!"

  • New! [ Download ] (61k) jackson3.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Da da da da, ow!"

  • New! [ Download ] (48k) jackson4.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Bah bah bah, dup, dub dub dup!"

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) jackson5.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Oooooooow!"

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) jackson6.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Doe with the bah"?

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) jackson7.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Whoo whooooo!"

  • New! [ Download ] (36k) jackson8.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Baby, my baby!"

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) jackson9.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Who who hee!"

  • New! [ Download ] (45k) jackson10.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Sucha chogga, bow!"

  • New! [ Download ] (39k) jackson11.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Ugh ugh who whoooo!"

  • New! [ Download ] (61k) jackson12.mp3 - Michael Jackson: *a lot of panting*

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) jackson13.mp3 - Michael Jackson giving a very high pitched "Ow!"

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) jackson14.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Duh hee hee!"

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) jackson15.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Hee uh uh ow!"

  • New! [ Download ] (48k) jackson16.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Doe with the bah, uh, hee hee!"

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) jackson17.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Whoooooo who!"

  • New! [ Download ] (79k) jackson18.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Sucha chogga, bow!", essentially a longer version of jackson10.mp3 but with more panting.

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) jackson19.mp3 - Michael Jackson: *clap* "Ow!"

  • New! [ Download ] (82k) jacksonbeatbox.mp3 - Michael Jackson beatboxing from This Is It.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (54k) jacksonbed.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "The most loving thing to do is to share your bed with someone."

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) jacksonboughtthese.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "I bought these."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (16k) jacksoncuseme.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "'cuse me!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (40k) jacksongreengiant.mp3 - Michael Jackson singing: "Ho ho ho, Green Giant."

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) jacksonhi.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Hi, this is Michael Jackson."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (247k) jacksonjury.mp3 - Voice actors read back Michael Jackson grand jury testimony on ABC News:
    Prosecutor: Did you see Michael walk into the room while you were watching the movie?
    Accuser's younger brother: Yes
    Prosecutor: How was he dressed?
    Accuser's younger brother: He was nude Ö he started to tell us it was natural Ö it's just normal Ö
    Prosecutor: Could you tell whether or not his penis was erect?
    Accuser's younger brother: It was. It was. He had a hardon."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (278k) jacksonjury2.mp3 - Voice actors read back Michael Jackson grand jury testimony on ABC News that includes testimony that Michael said, "Got Milk?"

  • New! [ Download ] (1.0M) jacksonjury3.mp3 - Voice actors read back Michael Jackson grand jury testimony on ABC News and get into detail some details about "Jesus Juice".

  • New! [ Download ] (631k) jacksonjury4.mp3 - Voice actors read back Michael Jackson grand jury testimony on ABC News and gets into accusations that Michael Jackson masturbated a child.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (372k) jacksonrestroom.mp3 - Michael Jackson being interviewed on 60 Minutes: "Once I went in the restroom, they locked me in there for like forty five minutes. There was doo-doo, feces, thrown all over the walls, the floor, the ceiling, and it stunk so bad. And one of the policemen came by the window and he made a sarcastic remark. He said, 'Smell, does it smell good enough for you in there? How do you like the smell? Is it good?' And I just simply said, 'It's alright. It's okay.'"

  • New! [ Download ] (115k) jacksonsharebed.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Why can't you share your bed? The most loving thing to do is to share your bed with someone."
    Martin Bashir: "You, you really think that?"
    Michael Jackson: "Yeah."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (152k) jacksonshoulder.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "They man-handled me very roughly. My shoulder, is dislocated literally. It's hurting me very badly. I'm in pain all the time."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (64k) jacksonsmellgood.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Does it smell good enough for you in there? How do you like the smell, is it good?"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (86k) jacksontimeisit.mp3 - Michael Jackson being interviewed on 60 Minutes:: "What time is it? Because I'm hurting. I don't feel good."

  • New! [ Download ] (321k) jacksonwavingtofans.mp3 - Michael Jackson explains to Martin Bashir why he was dangling his child over a balcony above a throng of fans below.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (44k) jacksonwhy.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Why you do this to me?" (whimpers)

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (21k) jacksonyeah.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Yeah."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (25k) jacksonyoohoo.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Yooohoo! Yoohoo!"

  • New! [ Download ] (44k) jacksonyoohoowegot.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Yooohoo! Yoohoo! We got these right?"

  • New! [ Download ] (46k) japanesethankyou.mp3 - A minister at the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were Japanese I'd say domo arigato."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (59k) jawslife.mp3 - Jason Alexander in Shallow Hal: "You need like the Jaws of Life to get that image outta your head."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (70k) jerrymaguire.mp3 - Huel Perkins from WJBK reading a Kwame Kilpatrick text message: "You had me at 'Hello', Jerry Maguire, 2000. Ha ha"

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) jimbrown.mp3 - William Sanders, Barry Sanders' father: "He's a great running back, but he's not as great as Jim Brown."

  • New! [ Download ] (184k) jimbrown2.mp3 - William Sanders, Barry Sanders' father: "First, I want to say 'Hello' to greatest running back that ever lived, the number one running back who ever lived... he's not with us today. I think he's with his family in Los Angeles, Mr. Jim Brown. So I want to say 'Hello' to him."

  • New! [ Download ] (32k) jimharbaugh.mp3 - Dustin Diamond on Saved by the Bell: "I'm Jim Harbaugh!"

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) joesbarassclown.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Vamoose ass clown!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (34k) joesbardiealready.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Why don't you just die already?!"

  • New! [ Download ] (9k) joesbardirtbag.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Pay up ya dirtbag!"

  • New! [ Download ] (47k) joesbardontexist.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "I dream of a world where you don't exist!"

  • New! [ Download ] (80k) joesbardrumstick.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "You made me heave when you jumped up onto the bar to show off your sweet drumstick!"

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) joesbarferret.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "She said you french kiss like a ferret cleaning it's ass!"

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) joesbargay.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "When you're here this is a gay bar!"

  • New! [ Download ] (51k) joesbargaynavy.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "He paraded around looking like an Admiral of the Gay Navy."

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) joesbargetlost.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Get lost! We hate you!"

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) joesbargoldmedal.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "You won the gold medal at sucking at life!"

  • New! [ Download ] (66k) joesbarhorseslost.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Ya, guess what? All your horses lost! They're all like you, losers!"

  • New! [ Download ] (32k) joesbaridiot.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Everyone here thinks you're an idiot!"

  • New! [ Download ] (58k) joesbarjackass.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Not that anyone missed you! Everyone here thinks you're a jackass!"

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) joesbarlegwarmers.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Who wear leg warmers and a danskin to play softball?"

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) joesbarlesbian.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "You sing like a lesbian!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (18k) joesbarlipsync.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Let me say, you look like a douchebag with all your lipsyncin' and your cryin'!"

  • New! [ Download ] (12k) joesbarmelon.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Beat it, ya melon headed freak!"

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) joesbarmissedya.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Not that anyone missed ya!"

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) joesbarmom.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "My mom can play better than you and she's got spina bifida!"

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) joesbaronenight.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "We get one night a year to have fun and drink and then you show up and make the whole night suck!"

  • New! [ Download ] (9k) joesbarpayup.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Ya, pay up ya chizler!"

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) joesbarscared.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Yeah, you're so scared ya peed your danskin!"

  • New! [ Download ] (38k) joesbarsickface.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "We're sick of your face!"

  • New! [ Download ] (49k) joesbarsoftball.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "I hate you! You suck at softball and you suck at life!"

  • New! [ Download ] (69k) joesbarstupidface.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "I thought you understood it when we said we never wanted to see your stupid face again!"

  • New! [ Download ] (33k) joesbarsuckhuman.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "You suck as a human being!"

  • New! [ Download ] (97k) joesbarurine.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "The boat company wants their damage deposit back because of you! Yeah they can't get the urine stains out of the couch!"

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) joesbarvamoose.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "Vamoose! We hate you!

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) joesbarwife.mp3 - From a Joe's Bar sketch segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien: "My wife won't even come here because you grope her and ya stare at her!"

  • New! [ Download ] (628k) johnmaddencall1.mp3 - The original Drew and Mike ambush call to John Madden.

  • New! [ Download ] (379k) johnmaddencall2.mp3 - The follow-up Drew and Mike ambush call to John Madden.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (33k) josh.mp3 - From lead actress from the The Blair Witch Project screaming "JOSH!" at the top of her lungs.

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) justgottalook.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: You just gotta look at it, that's all you can do anymore."

  • New! [ Download ] (47k) hahgay.mp3 - Ken Jeong in Community: "Hah, gaaaaay!"

  • New! [ Download ] (218k) handcuffs.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "It's very bad what they did. It's very swollen. The handcuffs, the way they tied them too tight. They put it in a certain position knowing that it's going to hurt and affect my back. Now I can't move. I- I- It keeps me from sleeping at night."

  • New! [ Download ] (50k) happybirthday.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Happy Birthday, just look at you!"

  • New! [ Download ] (19k) hashtagslut.mp3 - Chris Harrison on The Bachelorette: "Hashtag slut."

  • New! [ Download ] (59k) hatesoccer.mp3 - Danny McBride in Eastbound & Down: "In America, people fucking hate soccer and honestly that's the way it should be."

  • New! [ Download ] (20k) havejobs.mp3 - Huel Perkins from WJBK: "Don't these people have jobs?"

  • New! [ Download ] (43k) haventgivenup.mp3 - A pro Hillary Clinton redneck: "And I haven't given up on her yet."

  • New! [ Download ] (480k) hawkattack.mp3 - Chris Farley in Almost Heroes: "Once there was a hawk that swooped down from the sky. *makes hawk sounds* And plucked a man's eyeballs out of his sockets. The fellow was screaming, 'I'm blind! I'm blind! I can't get it off! I can't get it off!'"

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) hayeah.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Haaaa yeah!"

  • New! [ Download ] (28k) hayeah2.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Haaaya!"

  • New! [ Download ] (105k) hayeah3.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Haaahaayeah Hahayeah ahhhhaaaayeah!"

  • New! [ Download ] (45k) hebrewthankyou.mp3 - A minister at the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were Hebrew I'd say toda raba."

  • New! [ Download ] (12k) hecantgetitup.mp3 - Patricia Matthews, the best friend of Jane Bashara, in reference to Bob Bashara: "He can't get it up."

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) heisretard.mp3 - Sacha Baron Cohen on Saturday Night Live: "He is retard."

  • New! [ Download ] (14k) hellolarryking.mp3 - Larry King: "Hello?"

  • New! [ Download ] (20k) hellyeah.mp3 - Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "Hell yeah."

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) heycush.mp3 - Used in reference to Detroit City Councillor George Cushingberry Jr., Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire: "Hey, Cush."

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) heydouchebag.mp3 - Will Arnett: "Hey douchebag."

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) hillarywassleeping.mp3 - Donald Trump: "Hillary Clinton was sleeping."

  • New! [ Download ] (49k) hillaryclintonforpres.mp3 - A pro Hillary Clinton redneck: "I wanted Hillary Clinton for president."

  • New! [ Download ] (81k) hillaryjokeabouttrump.mp3 - Hillary Clinton has a hilarious joke for you about Donald Trump: "He's written a lot of books about business, they all seem to end at Chapter 11."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (48k) homefeces.mp3 - Homer Simpson: "So I noticed your home smells of feces."

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) hornyoldslut.mp3 - Dane Cook: "Look at this horny old slut."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (15k) hotass.mp3 - Allen Covert in The Wedding Singer: "She's a cool chick with a hot ass."

  • New! [ Download ] (32k) hotdogconnoisseusse.mp3 - Urethra Franklin: "I'm a hot dog connoisseusse, and a hamburger connoisseusse.
    Diana Lewis: And there's nothing wrong with that, because it's all good.
    Urethra Franklin: Yes it is."

  • New! [ Download ] (11k) hueldamn.mp3 - Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "Damn"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (20k) huelhaha.mp3 - Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "Ha ha"

  • New! [ Download ] (9k) hueloneatatime.mp3 - Huel Perkins on Let It Rip: "One at a time!"

  • New! [ Download ] (320k) hueylewis.mp3 - Christian Bale in American Psycho: "You like Huey Lewis and the News? Their early work was a little too new wave for my taste. But when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost."

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) huholdman.mp3 - An old man that Drew and Marc spoke to with a particularly piercing way of saying, "Huh?"

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) hurrayforaids.mp3 - From South Park: "Hurray for aides!"

  • New! [ Download ] (76k) hurtchild.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Before I would hurt a child, I would slit my wrists. I would never hurt a child."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (43k) husband.mp3 - One of the grooms from the Fox show Surprise Wedding, while speaking to a woman: "I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and I would be honored, if you'd be my husband tonight."

  • New! [ Download ] (39k) hut1hut2.mp3 - Chris Farley in Black Sheep: "Hut one, hut two, let's do it!"

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) hut1hut2a.mp3 - Chris Farley in Black Sheep: "Hut one, hut two!"

  • New! [ Download ] (209k) iaintstopping.mp3 - Chris Farley: "Alright, look. This is the last time. Anyone else has to go, do it now. I ain't stopping again."

  • New! [ Download ] (41k) idontknowdontaskme.mp3 - An irate old man on Cops: "I don't know how it got there, don't ask me!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (18k) idontthinkso.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "I don't think so."

  • New! [ Download ] (19k) ifshedied.mp3 - Vin Diesel in A Man Apart: "What would you do if she died?!"

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) ignorantfool.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "You ignorant fool."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (11k) ihateyou.mp3 - Some brat on an episode of Nanny 911: "I know why I hate you, because I hate you."

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) ilikethose.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "I like those."

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) illtellya.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "I'll tell ya all about it."

  • New! [ Download ] (19k) iloveyou.mp3 - Michael Jackson at the press conference announcing his This Is It tour: "I love you."

  • New! [ Download ] (79k) imrunnin.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Oh God, oh God, I'm runnin'! Aaahhh yeah!

  • New! [ Download ] (20k) imwithher.mp3 - Donald Trump: "I'm with her."

  • New! [ Download ] (19k) imwithyou.mp3 - Donald Trump: "I'm with you."

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) inameeting.mp3 - John Madden's excuse as to why he can't talk to Drew and Mike: "Uh yeah, I'm in a meeting right now so I can't talk to ya."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (33k) ineedyousobad.mp3 - Huel Perkins from WJBK reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "I need you so bad."

  • New! [ Download ] (98k) internetimage.mp3 - Dr. Phil McGraw: "Are you going to pursue kind of a internet image?"

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) italianthankyou.mp3 - A minister at the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were Italian I'd say grazie."

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) itsbs.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "It's BS, they made it up."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (39k) itsdeena.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "Ahh, it's Deena. Oh God."

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) iwantthat.mp3 - From Napoleon Dynamite: "I want that."

  • New! [ Download ] (28k) iwillslap.mp3 - Jackie Currie, former Detroit City Clerk: "I will slap your face!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (229k) jacksonhotair.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Kirin Culkin would sleep on this side, Maccaulay Culkin's on this side, his sister's in there- we're all, just jam into bed. And we'd wake up like dawn, and go into a hotair balloon. You know, we have the footage. We- I have all the footage."
    Martin Bashir: "But is that right Michael?"

  • New! [ Download ] (2.0M) dickclarktheme.mp3 - Dick Clark's theme (Mike's father) aka Tijuana Taxi by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) kenyanthankyou.mp3 - A minister at the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were Kenyan I'd say asante."

  • New! [ Download ] (2.3M) kilpatrickformayor.mp3 - Kwame Kilpatrick uses a radio ad to try and get re-elected mayor of Detroit, version one.

  • New! [ Download ] (941k) kilpatrickformayor2.mp3 - Kwame Kilpatrick uses a radio ad to try and get re-elected mayor of Detroit, version two.

  • New! [ Download ] (142k) kindlefeather.mp3 - Mike Clark: "It's just so lightweight. I mean, this Kindle is- my God, I don't even know what it weighs. It's just feather light. And the damn thing is what? Maybe eight inches high, five inches across."

  • New! [ Download ] (30k) kindlelight.mp3 - Mike Clark: "I love that Kindle, it's so light."

  • New! [ Download ] (71k) kindlelightweight.mp3 - Mike Clark: "For people that don't know what a Kindle is, it's a lightweight little tablet. I'm just trying to describe what it is.

  • New! [ Download ] (39k) kindlelightweight2.mp3 - Mike Clark: "It's, it's a very lightweight little tablet."

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) kindlewhiparound.mp3 - Mike Clark: "And this Kindle is just so easy to whip around."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (29k) knowitall.mp3 - An irate old man on Cops: "You know it all, why should I tell you?"

  • New! [ Download ] (36k) knowssomuchaboutfish.mp3 - Mr. Rogers: "She knows so much about fish."

  • New! [ Download ] (84k) kwamecomeback.mp3 - From Kwame Kilpatrick's resignation speech: "I want to tell you Detroit, you dun set me up for a comeback."

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) lacerationsrectum.mp3 - David Koechner on Beavis and Butt-Head: "Looks like it's just lacerations to the rectum."

  • New! [ Download ] (63k) largegirl.mp3 - Will Forte in The Brothers Solomon: "I mean she was a large girl, comfortably in the two hundreds."

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) likethehorse.mp3 - Dr. Phil McGraw: "You like the horse?"

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) littlewacko.mp3 - Larry King: "Little wacko, but that's ok."

  • New! [ Download ] (14k) lookather.mp3 - Donald Trump: "Look at her."

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) lookatthisguylaugh.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster, the "Look at this" guy laughing

  • New! [ Download ] (43k) lookatthisguylaughing.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster, the "Look at this" guy laughing version two

  • New! [ Download ] (39k) lookatthisguylook.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "First thing I do is I say, would you look at this?"

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) lookatthislaugh2.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Look at this." *chuckles*

  • New! [ Download ] (45k) lookatthislookatthat.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Would you look at this? Oh, look at that. Look at that."

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) lookatthislookathat2.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Oh look at this, look at that."

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) lookatthislookatthat3.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: *laughs* "Look at this, look at that."

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) lookatthispony.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Oh, would you look at this. What is this, a pony?"

  • New! [ Download ] (99k) lookatthissohandsome.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Oh would you look at this, oh he's so handsome. Look at him. Just look at him."

  • New! [ Download ] (32k) lookatthiswhattheheck.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "What the heck is that?!"

  • New! [ Download ] (30k) lookatthat.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Just look at that!"

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) lookatthatohwouldyou.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Oh would you look at that."

  • New! [ Download ] (118k) lookatthisbeautifulhair.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Would you look at this, look at his hair, it's beautiful. *laughs* His hair is gorgeous! Look at him!"

  • New! [ Download ] (67k) lookatthisgorgeous.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Oh look at you. Look at this. Oh, look at him, he's gorgeous."

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) lookatthisrunnin.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Would you look at this? He's runnin'!"

  • New! [ Download ] (61k) louisvuittonpurse.mp3 - Former homeless man Ted Williams to his daughter on the Dr. Phil show: "I'm gonna take you and get you a Louis Vuitton purse."

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) loveleather.mp3 - Jimmy Fallon on SNL: "I love leather."

  • New! [ Download ] (601k) lovellquestion.mp3 - Drew and Mike reminisce about when Drew asked former astronaut Jim Lovell an awkward question.

  • New! [ Download ] (32k) lovemychildren.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "I love my children, very much."

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) loveya.mp3 - Huel Perkins from WJBK reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "Love ya."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (80k) fallsomemore.mp3 - Huel Perkins from WJBK reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "It was just one of those little moments when you just made me fall some more."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (112k) ahole.mp3 - John Madden: "He started in like the- the two hole, bounced it all the way to the outside to the A-hole, and then got it into the endzone."

  • New! [ Download ] (88k) maddencame.mp3 - John Madden: "That- but he gets all over the place and he's gonna cum, and he's gonna be right there. *laughing* He got in there about third or fourth but he brought a pretty good load when he came."

  • New! [ Download ] (48k) maddenhello.mp3 - John Madden clearly illustrating that he is infact wide awake when he picks up the phone and answers with a robust: "Hello"

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) makeithappen.mp3 - Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "Make it happen."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (81k) makinglove.mp3 - Huel Perkins from WJBK reading a Kwame Kilpatrick text message: "Relaxing, laughing, talking, sleeping, and making love."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (12k) mansonlightfire.mp3 - Charles Manson: "Baby won't you light my fire."

  • New! [ Download ] (39k) manufactured.mp3 - Warren mayor Jim Fouts: "That was a manufactured, engineered tape."

  • New! [ Download ] (9k) marcsnooty.mp3 - The snooty, aristocrat version of Marc Fellhauer.

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) marcsnooty2.mp3 - The snooty, aristocrat version of Marc Fellhauer, version 2.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (39k) masturbated.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "You have now masturbated. Congratulations."

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) mazbullshit.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "Bullshit."

  • New! [ Download ] (11k) mazcock.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "Cock."

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) mazdontoome.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "Don't "oooo" me!"

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) mazmothereffer.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "Mother effer!"

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) maznoonegives.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "No one gives a shit."

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) mazpoundsalt.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "Pound salt."

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) mazrockedthehouse.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "She rocked the house that night."

  • New! [ Download ] (30k) mazyourefired.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "He's gonna hear this- *smacks the table* you're fired!

  • New! [ Download ] (9k) mazzshaa.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "Shaa!"

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) middlename.mp3 - A pro Hillary Clinton redneck: "His middle name is Hussein."

  • New! [ Download ] (56k) missedus.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Hey, I heard you missed us! We're back! Hey!"

  • New! [ Download ] (66k) morecushion.mp3 - Will Forte in The Brothers Solomon: "Have you ever heard of the phrase, 'more cushion for the pushin'"?

  • New! [ Download ] (180k) moreembarassing.mp3 - Beavis and Butt-head from Beavis and Butt-Head: "Come on arch your back, more slutty. More embarassing for your daughter.
    Yeah, yeah. Come on. More embarassing for your daughter. More embarassing. More embarassing. There ya go! There ya go! Yeah yeah yeah!"

  • New! [ Download ] (82k) mostcorrupt.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Hillary Clinton may be, the most corrupt person, ever!"

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) mrmike.mp3 - An irate Iraqi that Drew and Mike cold called: "Ok, Mr. Mike, Mr. Mike!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (30k) gameisoff.mp3 - Huel Perkins from WJBK reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "My game is off. Ha-Ha."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (45k) gamewayon.mp3 - Huel Perkins from WJBK reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "Ha ha, your game is way on baby!"

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) gayorsomething.mp3 - Propecia the crack ho: "What's wrong? Is you gay or something?"

  • New! [ Download ] (54k) georgeclooney.mp3 - Former MLBer Rick Sutcliffe, while possibly under the influence, during a local Padres telecast: "George Clooney! You been reading all about that? You been seeing that?"

  • New! [ Download ] (44k) germanthankyou.mp3 - A minister at the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were German I'd say danke schoen."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (17k) germanthing.mp3 - Dieter Zetsche as Dr. Z in a Chrysler commercial: "It's a german thing, you wouldn't understand."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (2.0M) gervasemyman.mp3 - The song inspired by the TV show Survivor entitled Gervase, My Man

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (40k) getemouttahere.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Get 'em out of here!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (29k) getintheresometime.mp3 - Doug Savant on Melrose Place: "I'd like to get in there sometime."

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) getoutofhere.mp3 - Donald Trump, in reference to some protesters during a campaign speech: "Get outta here!"

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) gettothepoint.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "Get to the point."

  • New! [ Download ] (250k) gina.mp3 - Steve Carell and Mo Collins in The 40-Year-Old Virgin: And you are Gina?
    ďJynaĒ. Hey whatís up?
    Nothing.
    Look, Iím gonna be real honest with you, um, itís been a long time since Iíve been with a man. Spent a lot of time with the ladies. Looking to get back up on that pogo stick, you know what Iím sayin?

  • New! [ Download ] (10.3M) ginainsearchof.mp3 - Drew and Mike try to reunite with phone sex operator Gina.

  • New! [ Download ] (12k) go.mp3 - Donald Trump: "Go."

  • New! [ Download ] (8k) goahead.mp3 - Larry King: "Go ahead, what's the question?"

  • New! [ Download ] (20k) goddamnit2.mp3 - Mike Myers as Dr. Evil: "God damn it!"

  • New! [ Download ] (123k) goddamnitdavidlee.mp3 - David Lee Roth: God damn it baby, you know I ain't lying to ya, I'm only gonna tell tell you one time! Aah-yeah!

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (43k) godslike.mp3 - Butt-Head from Beavis and Butt-Head: "God's like, don't drag me into this."

  • New! [ Download ] (84k) goldenshowers.mp3 - Huel and the panel on FOX 2's Let It Rip have a discussion about golden showers.

  • New! [ Download ] (92k) gonnagetracial.mp3 - An apparently drunk man is interviewed as his house burns down: "I'm gonna get ra- racial here! I'm gonna get racial!"

  • New! [ Download ] (28k) goodthing.mp3 - Dr. Phil: "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

  • New! [ Download ] (20k) goofus.mp3 - Donald Trump: "She's a Goofus!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (17k) goofus2.mp3 - Donald Trump: "She is a Goofus!"

  • New! [ Download ] (72k) gotaides.mp3 - From South Park: "But the way that I lost so much weight, was that I got aides."

  • New! [ Download ] (32k) gotfired.mp3 - Gina the phone sex operator: "You got fired, baby? What were you doing, playing with your dick too much?"

  • New! [ Download ] (77k) gotiton.mp3 - Chris Farley in Billy Madison: "The guy I know, him and her, got it on! Woo eee!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (36k) grandmabure.mp3 - Grandma Bure: "This is grandma Bure. Ha-Ha."

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) greatparty.mp3 - Dick Clark on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve: "What a great party."

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) greekthankyou.mp3 - A minister at the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were Greek I'd say

  • New! [ Download ] (70k) facebook.mp3 - An apparently drunken airline passenger: "Whatever you do is going on Facebook!"

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) fakenews.mp3 - Donald Trump: "You are fake news."

  • New! [ Download ] (75k) familytree.mp3 - Butt-head from Beavis and Butt-Head: "This is like, a family tree, if your family was made of whores."

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) fartface.mp3 - From The Benchwarmers: "Later fart face!"

  • New! [ Download ] (7k) fartfalling.mp3 - The sound of someone farting as they fall through the air.

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) fattestthing.mp3 - Mr. Burns from The Simpsons: "You're the fattest thing I've ever seen."

  • New! [ Download ] (2.8M) feceslaruefull.mp3 - The full audio of Fifi LaRue aka Feces LaRue, auditioning for FOX's The Next Great American Band:

  • New! [ Download ] (98k) feceslaruegothic.mp3 - Fifi LaRue aka Feces LaRue singing: "I'm the gothic killer clown, of rock and roll!"

  • New! [ Download ] (46k) feceslaruegothicheavymetal.mp3 - Fifi LaRue aka Feces LaRue: "Gothic heavy metal!"

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) feceslarueheavymetal.mp3 - Fifi LaRue aka Feces LaRue: "I think we're gonna bring back heavy metal."

  • New! [ Download ] (30k) feceslaruekids.mp3 - Fifi LaRue aka Feces LaRue: "There's kids out there that love this stuff!"

  • New! [ Download ] (72k) feceslaruesanta.mp3 - Fifi LaRue aka Feces LaRue: "I'm heavy metal Santa Claus, here I come!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (34k) feceslaruestart.mp3 - Fifi LaRue aka Feces LaRue: "Start this one Jack!"

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) feceslaruethroatclear.mp3 - Fifi LaRue aka Feces LaRue clearing his throat.

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) feeltardy.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "I don't feel tardy."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (29k) feltsogood.mp3 - Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "That felt so good."

  • New! [ Download ] (55k) finalexam.mp3 - Peter Griffin from Family Guy: "Today's final exam will consist of two parts: Oral and anal."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (61k) firecrotch.mp3 - Brandon Davis, some trust fund kid in Los Angeles who is friends with Paris Hilton: "Lindsay Lohan, is a fire crotch."

  • New! [ Download ] (270k) firecrotchfull1.mp3 - The full Lindsay Lohan fire crotch cut, part 1.

  • New! [ Download ] (365k) firecrotchfull2.mp3 - The full Lindsay Lohan fire crotch cut, part 2.

  • New! [ Download ] (33k) flewlastweekend.mp3 - Jake Pavelka smugly speaking to Vienna Girardi on Bachelor Pad: "As a matter of fact, I flew just last weekend."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (769k) foreverlove.mp3 - The Forever Love song by Vincent James, including the a low quality (sorry) dedication to Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.

  • New! [ Download ] (334k) foutstrump.mp3 - A clueless bagel constituent of Warren mayor Jim Fouts: "The same people that are doing this sort of thing are the same ones that elected Donald Trump."

  • New! [ Download ] (303k) foutstrump2.mp3 - A clueless bagel constituent of Warren mayor Jim Fouts: "Did you vote for Donald Trump?"

  • New! [ Download ] (39k) freecountry.mp3 - Jon Gries in Napoleon Dynamite: "It's a free country, I can do whatever I want!"

  • New! [ Download ] (48k) frenchthankyou.mp3 - From the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were French I'd say merci beaucoup."

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) fromlondon.mp3 - Paul Rudd in Forgetting Sarah Marshall: *trying to imitate an english accent* "You sound like you're from London!"

  • New! [ Download ] (52k) fullyseduce.mp3 - Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "That's the first time that I couldn't fully seduce you."

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) nonotme.mp3 - Warren mayor Jim Fouts: "No that was not me on the tape."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (104k) pianoprodigy.mp3 - Piano "prodigy" Jay Greenbery doing his thing on 60 Minutes. Notable for the infatuation that Mike Clark had with him.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (41k) renee.mp3 - Dave Chappelle on Chappelle's Show: "Who the fuck is Renee Zellweger?"

  • New! [ Download ] (62k) sterlingactsholy.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "Here is a man, who's- he acts so holy."

  • New! [ Download ] (63k) sterlingafrican.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "There's no African American- ah nevermind."

  • New! [ Download ] (33k) sterlingashamed.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I think he should be ashamed of himself."

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) sterlingbackground.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I think he should go into the background."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (38k) sterlingbigmagic.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "Big Magic Johnson, what has he done?"

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) sterlingblackguys.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "She used the word black guys."

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) sterlingblackpeople.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "What does he do for the black people?"

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) sterlingcommissioner.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I love the commissioner."

  • New! [ Download ] (44k) sterlingdoesnothing.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I'm just telling you, he does nothing."

  • New! [ Download ] (60k) sterlingdoesnothing2.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I'm just telling you, he does nothing. It's all talk."

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) sterlingdoesntdo.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "Doesn't do anything."

  • New! [ Download ] (28k) sterlingdontthink.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I don't think that's the answer."

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) sterlingexample.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "Is he an example for children?"

  • New! [ Download ] (44k) sterlingexplosion.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "This explosion comes on his desk."

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) sterlingfeelbad.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "-and I feel bad that I caused it."

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) sterlinggorgeousblack.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I'm bringing some gorgeous black guys."

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) sterlinggotaids.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "He's got AIDS."

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) sterlinghadaids.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "-and he had AIDS."

  • New! [ Download ] (82k) sterlinghadthoseaids.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "-and when he had those AIDS, I went to my synagogue and I prayed for him."

  • New! [ Download ] (59k) sterlinghassex.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "What kind of a guy goes to every city and has sex with every girl?"

  • New! [ Download ] (30k) sterlinghelppeople.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "We want to help people."

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) sterlinghiv.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "Then he catches HIV."

  • New! [ Download ] (308k) sterlingidontcare.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I don't care, I didn't care."

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) sterlingilikeyou.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I'm deciding if I like you."

  • New! [ Download ] (54k) sterlinglawyers.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "People want me to hire a wall of lawyers."

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) sterlingloveowner.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I love every owner."

  • New! [ Download ] (61k) sterlingmadelove.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "He made love to every girl in every city in America."

  • New! [ Download ] (46k) sterlingmagic.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "Magic Johnson is irrelevant in this thing."

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) sterlingminorities.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I like to help minorities."

  • New! [ Download ] (32k) sterlingmoreofaracist.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I think you're more of a racist than I am."

  • New! [ Download ] (38k) sterlingneverdreamt.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I never dreamt that this could happen."

  • New! [ Download ] (41k) sterlingnightmare.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "It's a terrible, terrible nightmare."

  • New! [ Download ] (299k) sterlingnotaracist.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I'm not a racist."

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) sterlingownerknows.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "Every owner knows me."

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) sterlingphonenumber.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I don't know his phone number."

  • New! [ Download ] (58k) sterlingplantation.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "You have more of a plantation mentality than I do."

  • New! [ Download ] (55k) sterlingrespect.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I respected him and I admire everything that he does."

  • New! [ Download ] (87k) sterlingrespect2.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "Is that someone that we want to respect and tell our kids about?"

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) sterlingsorry.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I'm sorry..."

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) sterlingstupid.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "Such a stupid remark."

  • New! [ Download ] (43k) sterlingterrible.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I made a terrible, terrible mistake."

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) sterlingthoseaids.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "-and when he had those AIDS."

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) sterlingtryingbest.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "Here he is trying his best."

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) sterlingwait.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "Wait until you hear from me."

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) sterlingwaiting.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I'm waiting, and I'm waiting, and I'm waiting."

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) sterlingwhathashedone.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "What has he done? Can you tell me?"

  • New! [ Download ] (39k) sterlingworkwiththem.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I think I should work with them and do it."

  • New! [ Download ] (49k) sterlingworthy.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I don't think it's worthy of even discussing."

  • New! [ Download ] (78k) sterlingworthy2.mp3 - Former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling: "I don't think it's worthy of even discussing, such a stupid remark."

  • New! [ Download ] (38k) adobe.mp3 - Warren mayor Jim Fouts: "You can do it by Adobe cell-o-flare."

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) adobe2.mp3 - Warren mayor Jim Fouts: "-Adobe cell-o-flare."

  • New! [ Download ] (9k) today.mp3 - Jackie Currie, former Detroit City Clerk: "Today?!"

  • New! [ Download ] (46k) vatech.mp3 - Donald Trump, while pardoning a turkey at the White House in 2017: "Virginia Tech, tremendous school."

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) walkingsunshine.mp3 - Inhalant addict Allison on Intervention: "I'm walking on sunshine."

  • New! [ Download ] (30k) wishhadfather.mp3 - Inhalant addict Allison on Intervention: "I wish I had a father."

  • New! [ Download ] (57k) number2.mp3 - Will Forte and Kristen Wiig in MacGruber: "I'm gonna go use the ladies room."
    "Number one or number two?"
    "Number none of your business!"
    "That means number two!"
    "Shut up!"

  • New! [ Download ] (32k) oldandtired.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Hillary Clinton's message is old and tired."

  • New! [ Download ] (61k) penisbutt.mp3 - From Family Guy: "Oh sonny, those were crazy times. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny-arms. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt."

  • New! [ Download ] (63k) pickupthephone.mp3 - Charlie Sheen in a portion of a scene from Rated X.

  • New! [ Download ] (27) pumpinandsweatin.mp3 - Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor: "Next thing you know he's on top of me in the shed, pumping' and a-sweatin'."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (3.9M) saladstory.mp3 - The extended version of Mike Clark's salad story

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (53k) secretsauce.mp3 - Eddie Murphy in Nutty Professor II: The Klumps: "Well I bet you could stand for a big ol' Whopper right now, huh? Yeah and I'm loaded with secret sauce. C'mon!"

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) getout.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in Sling Blade: "Get out!"

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) getouttahere.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Get outta here!"

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) getthefuckout.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in Sling Blade: "Get the fuck out of my house now!"

  • New! [ Download ] (14k) getthefuckout2.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in Sling Blade: "Now get the fuck out!"

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) getthefuckout3.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in Sling Blade: "Get the fuck out!"

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) getthefuckoutnowleave.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in Sling Blade: "Hey, you! Get the fuck out now!"
    "Leave!"

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) getthefuckoutnowturnback.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in Sling Blade: "Get the fuck out now before I get too mad to turn back!"

  • New! [ Download ] (45k) getthefuckupandgetthefuckout.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in Sling Blade: "Come on Lars, you fucking genius! Get the fuck up and get the fuck out of here, God damn it!"

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) getthefuckupandgetthefuckoutalternate.mp3 - - Dwight Yoakam in Sling Blade: "Get the fuck up and get the fuck out of here, God damn it!"

  • New! [ Download ] (145k) howugly.mp3 - "I forget. The last time I saw you, did I remember to tell you how ugly I think you are?"
    "No, you didnít."
    "Well, I think youíre really ugly."
    "Well, I think youíre looking in the mirror."
    "You wanna go?"
    "Anytime, anyplace.
    "Iím starting to like this guy... just kidding. I still hate you!"
    "Well, I hate you."
    "You wanna go?!" *pushing and shoving*
    "Hey guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! Cool it."

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) idontbelievethat.mp3 - Former NFL player William "Refrigerator" Perry: "I don't- I don't believe that."

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) layanotherhand.mp3 - Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade: "Don't you never lay another hand on that boy. You understand me?"

  • New! [ Download ] (58k) mrbaseball.mp3 - Hank Azaria as Jim Brockmire: "That ball is well hit. Knock knock. Who's there? Mr. Baseball. Mr. Baseball, who? Mr. Baseball went and got himself up and outta' here!"

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) mynameonit.mp3 - An irate old man on Cops: "If it hasn't got my name on it, I don't know what it is."

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) daddyprejudice.mp3 - Gina the phone sex operator: "Is your daddy prejudice baby?"

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) damn.mp3 - FOX 2's Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "Damn!"

  • New! [ Download ] (8k) damnitmaz.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "Damn it!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (18k) damnthat.mp3 - FOX 2's Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "Damn that."

  • New! [ Download ] (38k) danishthankyou.mp3 - A minister at the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were Danish I'd say mange tak."

  • New! [ Download ] (156k) daughter2.mp3 - Rachael Harris in The Hangover: "That little girl, grinding and dry humping the fucking stage up there... that's somebody's daughter up there."
    Ed Helms: "That's somebody's daughter up there! I was just going to say that!"
    Rachael Harris: "See."

  • New! [ Download ] (3.1M) davidleerothonamaericanidol.mp3 - David Lee Roth appears on American Idol and sings Mr. Sandman.

  • New! [ Download ] (1.6M) davidleerothonamaericanidol2.mp3 - David Lee Roth appears on American Idol and sings Nine to Five.

  • New! [ Download ] (1.5M) davidleerothonamaericanidol3.mp3 - David Lee Roth appears on American Idol and sings Another One Bites the Dust.

  • New! [ Download ] (1.8M) davidleerothonamaericanidol4.mp3 - David Lee Roth appears on American Idol and sings We Belong Together.

  • New! [ Download ] (2.1M) davidleerothonamaericanidol5.mp3 - David Lee Roth appears on American Idol and sings Superstar from Jesus Christ Superstar.

  • New! [ Download ] (1.8M) davidleerothonamaericanidol6.mp3 - David Lee Roth appears on American Idol and sings Sweet Caroline.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (213k) deanspeech.mp3 - The full cut of Howard Dean's infamous speech and scream.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (25k) deanyeah.mp3 - Howard Dean's scream that basically eliminated him from contention as a candidate.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (13k) andsheneedstogo.mp3 - Elderly Detroit water protester Ruth Williams: "-and she needs to go!"

  • New! [ Download ] (8k) face.mp3 - "Face!"

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) feelsodamngood.mp3 - Huel Perkins from WJBK reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "You made me feel so damn good that night."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (11k) fetish.mp3 - Huel Perkins from WJBK: "He has a foot fetish!"

  • New! [ Download ] (107k) foolmeonce.mp3 - Former President George W. Bush: "There's an old saying in Tennessee ó I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee ó that says, fool me once, shame on ó shame on you. Fool me ó we can't get fooled again."

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) forgetaboutit.mp3 - Homer in The Simpsons: "Forget about it!"

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) frenchfriedpotaters.mp3 - Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade: "I like them french fried potaters. Mmhmm."

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) fridgelaugh2.mp3 - Another version of former NFL player William "Refrigerator" Perry laughing.

  • New! [ Download ] (44k) fullyerect.mp3 - Benjy from Howard Stern on Demand at the Anthony Weiner resignation press conference: "Were you fully erect?"

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) fullyerectcapable.mp3 - Benjy from Howard Stern on Demand at the Anthony Weiner resignation press conference: "Were you fully erect or capable of more?"

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) funnyqueer.mp3 - From the movie Sling Blade: "He's funny, ya know. Not funny 'haha', funny queer."

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) funnyqueer2.mp3 - Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade: "Not funny 'haha', funny queer. Mmhmm."

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) cantletitgo.mp3 - FOX2 anchor Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "As you can see, I can't let it go."

  • New! [ Download ] (81k) cantstandsoccer.mp3 - Danny McBride in Eastbound & Down: "If there is one thing in this world I cannot stand, it is fucking soccer, alright? I hate when people do it around me."

  • New! [ Download ] (41k) canyoudigit.mp3 - Vincent Price: "Can you dig it?"

  • New! [ Download ] (272k) canyoudigit2.mp3 - Vincent Price: "Can you dig it?" *laughs maniacally*

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) chinesethankyou.mp3 - A minister at the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were Chinese I'd say ohdeeyeh"

  • New! [ Download ] (36k) cialis.mp3 - Danny McBride in Eastbound & Down: "What about that black dude that had all that Cialis?"

  • New! [ Download ] (53k) classdismissed.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Class dismissed!"

  • New! [ Download ] (53k) comelaydown.mp3 - Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "Can I just come and lay down in your room until you get back?"

  • New! [ Download ] (12k) constantinecousinquiet2.mp3 - Peter Marolis, some random local guy who went around pretending to be the cousin of Constantine from American Idol: "Hey. Hey, be quiet!"

  • New! [ Download ] (32k) constantinescousinfakeadmit.mp3 - Peter Marolis, some random local guy who went around pretending to be the cousin of Constantine from American Idol: "Ok, I'm not- I'm not Constantine's cousin."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (209k) cookies.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: ""We're going to sleep. I tuck them. We put- I put a little, like uh, music on and do a little storytime- I read a book. It's very sweet. We put the fireplace on. We give 'em hot milk. You know- we have cookies. It's very charming."

  • New! [ Download ] (49k) coolest.mp3 - Leif Garrett on his episode of Behind the Music: "That's just like the coolest ----ing thing anyone's ever said to me."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (1.6M) cruisegay.mp3 - Barbara Walters interviews Tom Cruise about being gay.

  • New! [ Download ] (933k) cruisegaylarryking.mp3 - The extended version of the Larry King interview with Tom Cruise where he reveals his gay relationship with Stanley Kubrick.

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) cruiselaugh.mp3 - Tom Cruise's psycho laugh on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

  • New! [ Download ] (49k) cruiselaugh2.mp3 - Tom Cruise laughing

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (3.3M) cruiseloveextended.mp3 - The extended version of Diane Sawyer's interview with Tom Cruise about his gay relationship with Stanley Kubrick.

  • New! [ Download ] (2.1M) culturebeat.mp3 - A portion of the song typically used when making a phone call, or before interviewing someone, about any and all homosexual issues. The song is Take Me Away (Sweetbox Hotpants Mix) by Culture Beat.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (17k) nikitafrombehind.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I want you to f--k me from behind."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (14k) nikitafuckboobs.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "F--k my boobs."

  • New! [ Download ] (33k) nikitagirlfriend.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "If you want, I can even call my girlfriend over, for a little fun."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (18k) nikitagivelapdance.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "You want me to give you lap dance?"

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) nikitagotonsale.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I got it at a sale for only five bucks."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (10k) nikitagreat.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Great!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (16k) nikitahardcock.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Your c--k is so hard!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (16k) nikitainterestink.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Mmmm, interestink."

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) nikitajustforyou.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "It was just for you, baby."

  • New! [ Download ] (11k) nikitajustwonderink.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Just wonderink."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (11k) nikitakelly.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "This is Kelly."

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) nikitakindasexy.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "That's kinda sexy."

  • New! [ Download ] (8k) nikitalikeit.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Did you like it?"

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) nikitalikethatbaby.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I like that baby."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (7k) nikitammmhmmm.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Mmmmhmmm."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (16k) nikitaneck.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Look at that beautiful neck."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (13k) nikitaniceplace.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Mm, that's a nice place."

  • New! [ Download ] (11k) nikitanotbad.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Not bad, huh?"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (14k) nikitaooolala.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Ooo la la."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (22k) nikitapanties.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I'm gonna take your panties off."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (40k) nikitaparty.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I'm here with this really cute guy, and we both want you to come over and party with us."

  • New! [ Download ] (444k) nikitascene.mp3 - A short bit of audio from a scene involving pornstars Nikita Denise and Peter North.

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) nikitashowyoumybody.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I want to show you my body."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (32k) nikitaspankboobies.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I want you spank my boobies."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (18k) nikitasuckballs.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I wanna suck your b--ls."

  • New! [ Download ] (12k) nikitaverybig.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Very big."

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) nikitaverygoodinabed.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "He is very goot in a bed."

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) nikitavibrator.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "You like my vibrator?"

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) nikitawait5to6.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "You still have to wait five to six days."

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) nikitawatchme.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I want you to watch me how I do it."

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) nikitawearthis.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "So you want me to wear this?"

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) nikitawhatwant.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "What do you want me to do?"

  • New! [ Download ] (156k) nomorefortoday.mp3 - Chris Farley in Almost Heroes: "In the name of all that is good and decent, no more for today!"

  • New! [ Download ] (11k) nottheboss.mp3 - Former Bill Clinton receptacle Monica Lewinsky: "You are not the boss of me!"

  • New! [ Download ] (47k) ahhahashutup.mp3 - Adam Sandler in Billy Madison: "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha, shut up!"

  • New! [ Download ] (46k) audit.mp3 - Danny DeVito in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "Next year, the IRS will audit the piss out of 'em!"

  • New! [ Download ] (96k) badger.mp3 - Chris Farley in Almost Heroes: "I seen a badger with paws as big as frying pans."

  • New! [ Download ] (251k) badger2.mp3 - Chris Farley in Almost Heroes: "I seen a badger with paws as big as frying pans. Now that'd rip your face right off! Right off! There's nothing you could do with that, it'd just rip it off."

  • New! [ Download ] (70k) ballhandling.mp3 - Butt-head from Beavis and Butt-Head: "Uh, is that like, something to do with ball handling?"

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) bangeddead.mp3 - Danny DeVito in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "You banged my dead wife?"

  • New! [ Download ] (190k) bearsnap.mp3 - Chris Farley in Almost Heroes: "I seen a bear, so powerful, that it snapped a man's body in half with it's huge jaws."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (39k) beatoffshark.mp3 - Diane Sawyer: "And Brian, do you even know what you did, to beat off the shark?"

  • New! [ Download ] (354k) beatoffjulie.mp3 - Julie Chen interviews a young woman and accuses her of beating off a shark.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (96k) bustediswhatyousee.mp3 - FOX2 anchor Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "Haha. Damn that. Never busted. Busted is what you see. Haha."

  • New! [ Download ] (108k) buttisrightthere.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "Heh. Come on. Come on! Her butt is right there! Come on! It's right there! Yeah. Come on."

  • New! [ Download ] (41k) buttstiches.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "I wonder what my butt looks like with all those stitches."

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) byebrandon.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "Bye Brandon."

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) byegrandma.mp3 - Andy Samberg?: "Bye Grandma!"

  • New! [ Download ] (30k) cantdoitnow.mp3 - Harry Caray responding to an ambush interview attempt by Drew and Mike: "I can't do it now."

  • New! [ Download ] (14k) thanksbinladen.mp3 - Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover: "Thanks a lot, Bin Laden."

  • New! [ Download ] (6k) tinyfart.mp3 - A tiny fart.

  • New! [ Download ] (7k) tinyfart2.mp3 - A tiny fart, version 2.

  • New! [ Download ] (8k) tinywetfart.mp3 - A tiny wet fart.

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) trumptweet.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "She tweets a lot about me- every once in awhile I'll tweet."

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) trumptweet2.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "-and when I tweet- you know, not a lot of people are watching her tweets, when I tweet they watch."

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) upperdecker2.mp3 - Val Kilmer in MacGruber: "First of all, I'd like to thank you for that upper decker you left me."

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) wannagorightnow.mp3 - Lawyer Mike Rataj: "Let me tell you something, you wanna go right now? Ok? You wanna go right now, Elrick?"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (19k) wearwhite.mp3 - From the movie Dukes of Hazzard: "Don't you know you're not supposed to wear white after Labor Day?"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (20k) welpunfortunate.mp3 - Homer from The Simpsons: "Welp, that's unfortunate. It really is."

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) whileeating.mp3 - Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor: "I don't want to hear this shit while I'm eatin'."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (32k) 711.mp3 - Sacha Baron Cohen as Ali G: "There has been 'nough sadness since the terrible events of 7-11."

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) 911sensitive.mp3 - Zach Galifianakis in The Hangover: "Yeah, maybe after 9-11 where everybody got so sensitive."

  • New! [ Download ] (12k) allknowthat.mp3 - From South Park: "Yes, we all know that, go on."

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) areyouthere.mp3 - Larry King: "Are you there?"

  • New! [ Download ] (14k) balloonfart.mp3 - A fart that perhaps sounds like a balloon deflating.

  • New! [ Download ] (21M) bijoutheater.mp3 - Drew and Mike revisit the San Francisco Jacks and then investigate the Bijou Theater in Chicago, including a call to their neighbors.

  • New! [ Download ] (783k) bijoutheatermsg.mp3 - The outgoing info line message of the Bijou Theater in Chicago.

  • New! [ Download ] (7k) buzzer.mp3 - A buzzer sound effect.

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) buzzerfart2.mp3 - A fart that sounds like a buzzer, variation two.

  • New! [ Download ] (5k) byebyeernie.mp3 - Former Detroit Tigers play-by-play man Ernie Harwell: "Bye, bye!"

  • New! [ Download ] (1.7M) captaincallrevisted.mp3 - Drew and Mike revisit their impromptu call to Captain & Tennille.

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) checkplease.mp3 - "Check, please!"

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) clintonintro.mp3 - Hillary Clinton being introduced: "Senator, Hillary Clinton!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (11k) colonclear.mp3 - Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor: "You want your colon cleared? Fine. I'm gonna clean mine." *Fart*

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (21k) criticscaneatit.mp3 - Fromer professional figure skater Johnny Weir: "My critics can eat it"

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) didyouseedonaldtrump.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign, while imitating someone else: "Did you see Donald Trump, the way he spoke to her?"

  • New! [ Download ] (7k) duckbuzzerfart.mp3 - The duckish buzzer fart.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (21k) dumpinbed.mp3 - Jon Heder in Napoleon Dynamite: "Hey Don, did you take a dump in your bed last night?"

  • New! [ Download ] (46k) oooo2.mp3 - The Drew and Mike Podcast version of Oooooooooooooooo!

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (72k) oprahtomcruise.mp3 - Oprah Winfrey: "Please welcome, Tom Cruise!"

  • New! [ Download ] (67k) pagingdrfaggot.mp3 - Bradley Cooper in The Hangover: "Paging Dr. Faggot! Dr. Faggot!"

  • New! [ Download ] (681k) peterpan.mp3 - Michael Jackson explains why he loves Peter Pan.

  • New! [ Download ] (169k) petticoat.mp3 - Chris Farley in Almost Heroes: "I've had my head under a petticoat or two."

  • New! [ Download ] (109k) phoney.mp3 - Prince Von Ahole: "You are rude- you are lying. Don't be phoney to your listeners, because otherwise they won't listen to you anymore."

  • New! [ Download ] (85k) polishpewter.mp3 - Chris Farley in Almost Heroes: "You know, polish the pewter?"

  • New! [ Download ] (52k) rudeman.mp3 - Prince Von Ahole: "You are a rude man, you are lying!"

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) dearborn.mp3 - Larry King: "Dearnborn Michigan, hello."

  • New! [ Download ] (325k) dearbornmifake.mp3 - A prank call to Larry King from someone claiming to be from Dearborn, MI.

  • New! [ Download ] (8k) dearfriendted.mp3 - "My dear friend Ted."

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) deargodherewego.mp3 - Adam Sandler on Saturday Night Live: "Dear God, here we go."

  • New! [ Download ] (39k) deflatingboner.mp3 - The sound usually used to denote a deflating boner

  • New! [ Download ] (205k) dontlietolisteners.mp3 - Prince Frederick von Anhalt aka Prince von Ahole: "You are a rude man, you are lying! Don't lie to your listeners. I don't mind if you lie to me but don't lie to your listeners. Don't be phoney to your listeners because otherwise they won't listen to you anymore."

  • New! [ Download ] (19k) drewblooownout.mp3 - Drew Lane: "Yeah, you were about to get BLOOOOOWN out."

  • New! [ Download ] (28k) drewblooownout2.mp3 - Drew Lane: "Bottom line: BLOOOOWN OUT! Blown out!"

  • New! [ Download ] (2.03M) vincentjames.mp3 - Drew and Mike first meet Vincent James, a tool who tried to use the engagement of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez to gain more attention.

  • New! [ Download ] (55k) vincentjamesmusic2.mp3 - A longer cut of Vincent James answering his phone.

  • New! [ Download ] (195k) nonsequiturhappybday.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Happy Birthday Toni Tennille

  • New! [ Download ] (239k) nonsequiturphonecall.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Phone Call from Matt Dery

  • New! [ Download ] (222k) nonsequiturrobbedofadouble.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Robbed of a Double

  • New! [ Download ] (100k) nonsequitursametruck.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: They have the same truck!

  • New! [ Download ] (292k) nonsequitursiliconvalley.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Silicon Valley

  • New! [ Download ] (321k) nonsequiturtimtebow.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Tim Tebow

  • New! [ Download ] (2.3M) drewbuzzmina.mp3 - Drew, and Buzz Aldrin, are introduced to Miss Mina.

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) drewdonkeysound.mp3 - Drew's infamous mocking donkey sound.

  • New! [ Download ] (20k) drewdonkeysound2.mp3 - Drew's infamous mocking donkey sound.

  • New! [ Download ] (11k) drewdonkeysound3.mp3 - Drew's infamous mocking donkey sound.

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) drewdonkeysound4.mp3 - Drew's infamous mocking donkey sound.

  • New! [ Download ] (1.8M) drewlaneatbat.mp3 - Revisiting audio from what I believe was a charity baseball game that Drew participated in at Tiger Stadium.

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) newengerizeroi.mp3 - The tail end of a commercial involving Mark "Jacko" Jackson, a former Australian footballer that for some reason was part of an Energizer campaign: "New Energizer! Oi!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (23k) nikitaassfingers.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I want you to put your fingers inside my a--."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (20k) nikitabigboobs.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Look at these big boobs."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (12k) nikitaboobies.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "You like my boobies?"

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) nikitacomeon.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Oh, come on baby!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (12k) nikitacute.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "You are kind of cute."

  • New! [ Download ] (66k) nikitadeniseintro.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: Nikita Denise being introduced to her fans.

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) nikitadocuments2.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "You need to fill out these documents and it's going to take five to six days."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (18k) nikitadoforliving.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "So, what do you do for livink?"

  • New! [ Download ] (36k) nikitadofour.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "-want two. You want three? Let's do four. Ah yeah."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (19k) nikitadoingporn.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I am thinking about doing porn."

  • New! [ Download ] (45k) nikitadressworth.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Do you know how much is this dress worth?"

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) nikitaexpecting.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Have a seat, I've been expecting you."

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) nikitafeelsnice.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Ahh, that feels nice."

  • New! [ Download ] (69k) diapersfull.mp3 - Will Arnett in The Brothers Solomon: "Uh oh. Looks like someone's diaper's full!"

  • New! [ Download ] (724k) dickclarkcountdown.mp3 - Dick Clark attempting to count down the odometer rolling over from 2008 to 2009 on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve.

  • New! [ Download ] (44k) dickgosoft.mp3 - Danny McBride in Eastbound & Down: "I'm gonna pretend like you just didn't make my dick go soft."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (29k) dirtywhore.mp3 - Danny DeVito in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "Tomorrow night, I am proposing to that dirty whore."

  • New! [ Download ] (47k) doingradio.mp3 - From Family Guy: "Hey, that's quite a voice you've got there. You ever think about doing radio?"

  • New! [ Download ] (88k) drewowmyass.mp3 - Drew Lane: "Oh, ow my ass! Oh my God!"

  • New! [ Download ] (11k) drewsnooty.mp3 - The snooty, aristocrat Drew Lane.

  • New! [ Download ] (14k) drewsnooty2.mp3 - The snooty, aristocrat Drew Lane, version 2.

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) drfaggot.mp3 - Rachael Harris in The Hangover: "That's a good idea Dr. Faggot."

  • New! [ Download ] (251k) nonsequiturtracilords.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Traci Lords

  • New! [ Download ] (329k) nonsequiturtradetalk.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Trade Talk

  • New! [ Download ] (58k) notdoinganything.mp3 - Rachel Reilly on Big Brother: "She just thinks she's so cool, but she's not doing anything!"

  • New! [ Download ] (166k) nothitbirds.mp3 - Matt Damon on 30 Rock: "You know what a great pilot would have done? Not hit the birds. That's what I do every day. Not hit birds. Where's my ticket to the Grammys?"

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) ohyes.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Oooooh yes!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (71k) onepieceoface.mp3 - Chris Farley in Billy Madison: "That is one piece of ace!"

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) ooh.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Oh!"

  • New! [ Download ] (278k) nonsequiturvarsitygirls.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Varsity Girls

  • New! [ Download ] (30k) notagainstlaw.mp3 - FOX2's Charlie Langton: "It's not against the law to have sex."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (18k) delicious.mp3 - "That sounds delicious."

  • New! [ Download ] (127k) demooftigerstadium.mp3 - A clueless member of Detroit City Council: "Has the demolition of the uh, Tiger Stadium, already began?"

  • New! [ Download ] (52k) dentaldam.mp3 - Danny McBride in Eastbound & Down: "I got a dental dam in the glove compartment of my truck, you can just grab that."

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) detroithello.mp3 - Larry King: "Detroit, hello."

  • New! [ Download ] (20k) donebrothers.mp3 - Gina the phone sex operator: "Well, I done brothers before baby."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (37k) dontcall.mp3 - "Don't call here again asshole."

  • New! [ Download ] (132k) beautifulfat.mp3 - Will Forte in The Brothers Solomon: "You're beautiful, impeccable dresser, great personality, nice hair, FAT, great smile, smell good."

  • New! [ Download ] (182k) benfranklin.mp3 - Chris Farley in Almost Heroes: "You want to be alone so you can shake hands with Ben Franklin? Huh?" *laughs*

  • New! [ Download ] (1.0M) bertanderniegay.mp3 - Startingly evidence that Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie are gay. Part 1

  • New! [ Download ] (539k) bertanderniegay2.mp3 - Startingly evidence that Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie are gay. Part 2

  • New! [ Download ] (54k) blanket.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "Blanket! I love you, Blanket! Yes, yes, yes!"

  • New! [ Download ] (51k) blanket2.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "Blanket! Blanket! Blanket, I love you! Blanket!"

  • New! [ Download ] (275k) blanketbottle.mp3 - Michael Jackson attempting to bottle feed his son "Blanket" in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson.

  • New! [ Download ] (32k) brainchicken.mp3 - Sacha Baron Cohen on Saturday Night Live: "He has a brain like a chicken."

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) banginghorses.mp3 - Chris Farley in Black Sheep: "Taking 'im back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses."

  • New! [ Download ] (44k) barackhusseinobama.mp3 - A pro Hillary Clinton redneck: "Ba-rack Hussein Obama?"

  • New! [ Download ] (48k) barackhusseinobama2.mp3 - A pro Hillary Clinton redneck: "Barrrrrrack Hussein Obama!"

  • New! [ Download ] (89k) bathingapollo.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "I like this one because its- they're bathing Apollo. This looks like Apollo, and the girls are bathing him."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (116k) bathingapollo2.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "Excuse me? I want that one there, and this one. 'Cuz we have this- I bought this statue. That's the Bathing of Apollo, right?"

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) nikitahaveinyourmind.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Like, what do you in your mind?"

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) nikitahewasblack.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "And he was black."

  • New! [ Download ] (5k) nikitahowareyoudoing.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "How are you doing?"

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) nikitaindustry.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I'm in this industry since January 2000."

  • New! [ Download ] (793k) tbcjustinbieberfarts.mp3 - The Toilet Bowl Cleaners song, Justin Bieber Farts

  • New! [ Download ] (74k) thethriller.mp3 - Vincent Price: "Michael Jackson is..."
    Michael Jackson: "The Thriller."

  • New! [ Download ] (121k) thethriller3.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Hi, this is Michael Jackson."
    Vincent Price: "And this is Vincent Price, inviting you to"
    Both Together: "The Thriller."

  • New! [ Download ] (62k) takeshoesoff.mp3 - Butt-head from Beavis and Butt-Head: "Hey, what do ya say we go over to airport security and watch people take their shoes off?"

  • New! [ Download ] (85k) talkaboutenergy.mp3 - Dick Clark on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve: "Talk about energy! You feel it in the air, huh?"

  • New! [ Download ] (85k) taxdollars.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "Yeah, you know, it's about time they spend my tax dollars on something I can use. You know what I'm sayin'?"

  • New! [ Download ] (811k) tbcbristolstoolchart.mp3 - The Toilet Bowl Cleaners song, Bristol Stool Chart

  • New! [ Download ] (295k) waiticanreadit.mp3 - Chris Farley in Almost Heroes: "Wait! I can read it! I can read it!" Laughs, and then fails to read it.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (46k) wakeupinmorning.mp3 - Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "I want to wake up in the morning, and you are there."

  • New! [ Download ] (259k) nonsequiturfridgeclean.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Fridge Clean Out Day

  • New! [ Download ] (343k) nonsequiturgreathat.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Great Hat!

  • New! [ Download ] (36k) openyourlegs.mp3 - Donald Sterling, former owner of the Los Angeles Clippers: "Who cares what color your skin is? Open your legs."

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) dontknowaboutdrugs.mp3 - Danny McBride in Eastbound & Down: "Don't act like you don't know about drugs when you do."

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) drphil.mp3 - Oprah Winfrey: "Dr. Phil!!!"

  • New! [ Download ] (723k) tbcmileycyrusfarts.mp3 - The Toilet Bowl Cleaners song, Miley Cyrus Farts

  • New! [ Download ] (543k) tbctaylorlautnerpoops.mp3 - The Toilet Bowl Cleaners song, Taylor Lautner Poops

  • New! [ Download ] (835k) tbczooeydeschanelpoops.mp3 - The Toilet Bowl Cleaners song, Zooey Deschanel Poops

  • New! [ Download ] (44k) teacher.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "What do you think the teacher's gonna look like this year?"

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) teacher2.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "I'm hot for teacher!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (12k) thatsright.mp3 - Donald Trump: "That's right"

  • New! [ Download ] (20k) thereheis.mp3 - Will Arnett: "Hey! There he is!"

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) thesecolors.mp3 - A pro Hillary Clinton redneck: "These colors don't run."

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) thesethings.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "These things are mine, right?"

  • New! [ Download ] (41k) comeonbuddy.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Come on buddy, you can do it!" *laughs*

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) comingrightnow.mp3 - Possibly from a Lee Steinberg commercial: "I'm cumming right now."

  • New! [ Download ] (44k) completebush.mp3 - Jason Sudeikis on Saturday Night Live: "I just got fired for being a complete bush."

  • New! [ Download ] (53k) completebush2.mp3 - Seth MacFarlane on Saturday Night Live: "What? How? That guy is such a complete bush."

  • New! [ Download ] (33k) dontmakemekill.mp3 - Steve Little in Eastbound & Down: "Don't make me kill somebody!"

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) doorknob.mp3 - Jonah Falcon proceeds to gross everyone out: "I could uh, envelop the entire doorknob in my foreskin."

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) doublefart.mp3 - A double fart.

  • New! [ Download ] (393k) dreamcametrue.mp3 - Mike Schmidt breaks down as he retires from Major League Baseball: "Some eighteen years ago I left Dayton Ohio with two very bad knees... and a dream to become a major league baseball player. I thank God that dream came true."

  • New! [ Download ] (55k) dreamcametrue2.mp3 - Mike Schmidt breaks down as he retires from Major League Baseball: "I thank God that dream came true."

  • New! [ Download ] (68k) dreamingallday.mp3 - FOX 2's Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "I been dreaming all day about you all to myself for three days"

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) drphilanythingwrong.mp3 - Dr. Phil: "I don't think there's anything wrong with that."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (189k) drunkharrison.mp3 - A possibly drunk Harrison Ford tries to give away a Golden Globe.

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) duhyeah.mp3 - Danny DeVito in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "Duh yeah."

  • New! [ Download ] (105k) eatingalot.mp3 - Butt-head from Beavis and Butt-Head: "Uh, I heard about this dude. He got famous just for like, eating a lot for like, thirty days."

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) excuseme.mp3 - From South Park: "Excuse me."

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) excuseme2.mp3 - From South Park: "Excuse me!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (26k) picknose.mp3 - Peter Marolis, some random local guy who went around pretending to be the cousin of Constantine from American Idol: "And this coming from a guy whose only talent is uh, picking his nose with his big toe."

  • New! [ Download ] (58k) bigblueones.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "Look at these big blue ones, look how beautiful these are. These, right?"

  • New! [ Download ] (38k) bigdicksout.mp3 - Gina the phone sex operator: "Well tell me boys, do you have those big hard dicks out already?"

  • New! [ Download ] (72k) biggerandbetter.mp3 - Dick Clark on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve: "And tonight, it's bigger and better than ever."

  • New! [ Download ] (45k) catfecus.mp3 - A neighbor (possibly named Wendel, I can't remember) of a house of skank that stunk like cat feces: "Well, it- it smells like, cat fecus."

  • New! [ Download ] (56k) checkinsideasshole.mp3 - From South Park: "Alright sir, I just needs to check inside your asshole."

  • New! [ Download ] (11k) efren.mp3 - Trudi Daniels: "Efren?"

  • New! [ Download ] (46k) efrenfart.mp3 - The Efren fart

  • New! [ Download ] (88k) efrenfartslomo.mp3 - Slow mo version of the Efren fart

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) poop.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "Poop!"

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) portuguesethankyou.mp3 - From the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were Portuguese I'd say obrigado."

  • New! [ Download ] (69k) putbabyinyou.mp3 - Will Forte in The Brothers Solomon: "What do you say we get out of here and I go put a baby in you?"

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) putthatonlist.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "Can you put that on the list?"

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) redwhiteblue.mp3 - A pro Hillary Clinton redneck: "Red white and blue!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (32k) yousexy.mp3 - Luke Perry in Beverly Hills, 90210: "You are incredibly sexy."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (77k) rockshelter.mp3 - Debb Eaton, a contestant on Survivor: "We got enough rocks here too, we could build a pretty decent shelter just usin' rocks!"

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) stunksobad.mp3 - Michael Jackson being interview on 60 Minutes: "And it stunk so bad."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (28k) 45mins.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "For like forty five minutes"

  • New! [ Download ] (54k) abu.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson tending to Blanket: "Yes, aboo!"

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) ahha.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Ah ha!"

  • New! [ Download ] (141k) america.mp3 - Randy in South Park: "Arresting me for what? I'm not allowed to stand up for myself? I thought this was America! Huh? Isn't this America? I'm sorry, I thought this was America."

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) americawin.mp3 - A pro Hillary Clinton redneck: "America is going to win."

  • New! [ Download ] (6k) areyathere.mp3 - Larry King: "Are ya there?"

  • New! [ Download ] (63k) areyouokay.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Are you okay? You okay? Are you alright?"

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) areyouokay2.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Are you okay?"

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) arnoldlovechild.mp3 - Benjy from Howard Stern on Demand at an Anthony Weinerpress conference: "Will you help to support Arnold's love child?"

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) askforgina.mp3 - Gina the phone sex operator: "Just ask for Gina baby."

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) ateweiners.mp3 - Mr. Burns from The Simpsons: "Whowho, I ate my share of weiners that day."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (22k) bomb.mp3 - Roland Winkler on the Leif Garrett episode of Behind the Music: "Ready for a bomb?"

  • New! [ Download ] (54k) boringtrump.mp3 - Donald Trump: "Ugh, boring! Boring!"

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) bothsayit.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Do we both say it?"

  • New! [ Download ] (39k) boughttheseright.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "We bought these right? And these?"

  • New! [ Download ] (41k) boughtthisone.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "Bought this one, this one."

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) boughtthisoneright.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "I bought this one, right?"

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) brandon2days.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "I see Brandon gets two days a week, huh?"

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) brandonfired.mp3 - Donald Trump: "Brandon, you're doing a terrible job, you're fired."

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) branDONhmm.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "BranDON. Hmm. Ok."

  • New! [ Download ] (91k) breakingnews.mp3 - The breaking news sounder from a Majic Windows commercial: "Breaking news, with Mort Crim."

  • New! [ Download ] (2.0M) breakingnewstoilet.mp3 - Breaking News: A toilet won't stop flushing in the Greater Media building. It was described as "flushing wildly".

  • New! [ Download ] (157k) bukkakeporno.mp3 - Random executive in a K-Swiss ad campaign: "K, what's bew-cake porno?"
    Danny McBride: "Bukkake, you dumb motherfucker. What, you been livin' in a cave? It's like an old Asian traditional porno. Just- it's hilarious. I need that shit. Next."

  • New! [ Download ] (9k) clintonwhat.mp3 - Hillary Clinton: "What?!"

  • New! [ Download ] (67k) clockisslow.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Ah man, I think the clock is slow man..."

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) coat.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "What happened to his coat?"

  • New! [ Download ] (549k) cocaineattic.mp3 - Leonard Rowe: "Why do someone that's completely healthy need someone to take care of them? I consider myself healthy Larry. I don't have a doctor living with me. Do you have one living with you?"
    Larry King: "No. So you're implying foul play by sending a doctor there?"
    Leonard Rowe: "No, Larry. Let me say this to you-"
    Larry King: "I'm lost."
    Leonard Rowe: "Michael Jackson was addicted, we all know that. It's not a secret. Would you put a cocaine seller in the house with a cocaine attic?"
    Larry King: "Are you saying they put a cocaine seller in the house- the doctor was selling cocaine?"
    Leonard Rowe: "I didn't say that Larry. But he was able to write- he was able to administer drugs."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (371k) jacksonrestroom.mp3 Michael Jackson being interviewed on 60 Minutes: "Once I went in the restroom, they locked me in there for like forty five minutes. There was doo-doo, feces, thrown all over the walls, the floor, the ceiling, and it stunk so bad. And one of the policemen came by the window and he made a sarcastic remark. He said, 'Smell, does it smell good enough for you in there? How do you like the smell? Is it good?' And I just simply said, 'It's alright. It's okay.'"

  • New! [ Download ] (89k) copwriteticket.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Whenever a cop writes you out a ticket, the first thing you do is you take the ticket and you say, would you look at this?"

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) cosbycoocachoo.mp3 - Bill Cosby: "Goo ga coo ca chu!"

  • New! [ Download ] (435k) cosbytoteboard.mp3 - The Bill Cosby Alleged Sexual Assault Victim Toteboard

  • New! [ Download ] (102k) courtneybasspro.mp3 - Telemarketer Courtney calls Marc live during the podcast: "Hello Marc, this is Courtney with vacation foreign travel. I'm calling about an entry form you filled out at the Bass Pro Shop."

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) courtneybassproshopduh.mp3 - Telemarketer Courtney calls Marc live during the podcast: "I mean, duh."

  • New! [ Download ] (19k) courtneybassproshopfunny.mp3 - Telemarketer Courtney calls Marc live during the podcast: "You guys are funny."

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) criminal.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Who's the criminal? Who-who's Jack the Ripper?"

  • New! [ Download ] (57k) crissangelalive.mp3 - Criss Angel screams out as he "escapes" from an building implosion in 2008. Commentator: "Criss Angel is out and alive!"

  • New! [ Download ] (20k) crissangelscream.mp3 - Criss Angel screaming out as he "escapes" from an building implosion in 2008.

  • New! [ Download ] (230k) dontmess.mp3 - A bagel starts hitting the touchtones on her phone and Drew unloads on her: *blasts the megaphone* "Don't mess with me bagel!"

  • New! [ Download ] (3.2M) drewandgethard.mp3 - Drew imagines someone being tased until they "Get hard!"

  • New! [ Download ] (10.1M) drewandmikemeetgina.mp3 - Drew and Mike call a phone sex line for men who have small penises and like to be humiliated. They pose as brothers "Buzz" and "Jarvis" and end up meeting the infamous Gina.

  • New! [ Download ] (36k) alwaysknewit2.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "I always fucking knew it."

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) alwaysknewit.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "I always knew it."

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) conduit.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Oh, I'll be your conduit."

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) fuckyazeesstardust.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Fuck yeah zees stardust." (Close enough)

  • New! [ Download ] (41k) fuckyeah.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Yeah, fuck yeah!"

  • New! [ Download ] (55k) fuckyeah2.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Yeah, uh, fuck yeah."

  • New! [ Download ] (32k) iknewit.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "I knew it!"

  • New! [ Download ] (62k) itsover.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Oh my God, it's over! I feel it."

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) itsover2.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "It's over!"

  • New! [ Download ] (50k) mischabye.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Heh, uhhhhh, bye!"

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) mischaohmygod.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Oh my God!"

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) mischaohmygod2.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Oh my God!"

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) mymother.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Oh, my mother."

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) ohifeelyou.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Oh, I feel you."

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) planetearth.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "On planet Earth!"

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) terrifying.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "It's terrifying."

  • New! [ Download ] (30k) whatwitch.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "What a witch!"

  • New! [ Download ] (48k) whoa.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Whooooooooooa!"

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) youfuckingwitch.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "You fucking witch!"

  • New! [ Download ] (71k) youreangry.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Whoooooooooa, you're angry."

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) youreangry2.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "You're angry."

  • New! [ Download ] (206k) watchbyself.mp3 - Chris Farley in Almost Heroes: "Oh, I understand. You want to watch her by yourself."

  • New! [ Download ] (8k) yeahgoahead.mp3 - Larry King: "Yeah, go ahead. What's the question?"

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) yesiam.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Yes I am!"

  • New! [ Download ] (30k) yesimhot.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Yes I'm hot!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (19k) youarestupid.mp3 - An irate Iraqi: "You are stupid."

  • New! [ Download ] (1.5M) negotiations.mp3 - From a K-Swiss ad, Kenny Powers negotiates an endorsement deal

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) next2.mp3 - Mr. Burns from The Simpsons: "Next!"

  • New! [ Download ] (103k) niceface.mp3 - Will Arnett in The Brothers Solomon: "You have got a nice face. It sure makes up that body."

  • New! [ Download ] (38k) nicelittleguy.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Looks like a nice little guy actually."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (18k) nobodyunderstands.mp3 - Donald Trump: "Nobody understands it."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (24k) noidea.mp3 - Roland Winkler on the Leif Garrett episode of Behind the Music: "I have no idea."

  • New! [ Download ] (294k) nonsequiturcartoons.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Cartoons

  • New! [ Download ] (176k) nonsequiturdairyqueen.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Dairy Queen

  • New! [ Download ] (333k) nonsequiturderbypool.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Derby Pool

  • New! [ Download ] (216k) nonsequiturflipwilson.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Flip Wilson

  • New! [ Download ] (441k) internetmemories4.mp3 - On the 20th Anniversary of the World Wide Web, surfers share their first memories of the Internet, Part 4.

  • New! [ Download ] (311k) internetmemories5.mp3 - On the 20th Anniversary of the World Wide Web, surfers share their first memories of the Internet, Part 5.

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) inthecan.mp3 - Will Arnett in Hot Rod: "Uh, no, she's in the can. Can I take a message?"

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) isaidgetoutofmyhouse.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in Sling Blade: "I said, get out of my house."

  • New! [ Download ] (19k) jadensmithparents.mp3 - From South Park: "Jaden Smith let's his parents do whatever they want."

  • New! [ Download ] (1.7M) jimbrockmire.mp3 - The full Hank Azaria as Jim Brockmire clip.

  • New! [ Download ] (19k) justpunchedhimintheface.mp3 - Nick Offerman in Parks and Recreation: "If it were me, I would've just punched him in the face."

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) kickmycar.mp3 - Will Forte in MacGruber: "Did you really just kick my car? Oh no, oh no you don't! Real mature!"

  • New! [ Download ] (211k) kwamecallandfart.mp3 - Drew and Mike call Kwame Kilpatrick's voicemail to leave a Butt Mic fart on it.

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) kwameflustered.mp3 - A flustered Kwame Kilpatrick after being ambushed by Drew and Mike.

  • New! [ Download ] (6k) kwamehello.mp3 - Kwame Kilpatrick: "Hello."

  • New! [ Download ] (8k) kwamehello2.mp3 - Kwame Kilpatrick: "Hello?"

  • New! [ Download ] (8k) kwamelaugh.mp3 - An uneasy Kwame Kilpatrick laugh.

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) kwametakecare.mp3 - Kwame Kilpatrick: "Alright, well take care now."

  • New! [ Download ] (14k) theytookwhat.mp3 - Huel Perkins, in reference to a vibrator: "They took what?"

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) tombrokaw.mp3 - A kid in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby: "Tow Brokaw is a punk!"

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) trumpstopit.mp3 - Donald Trump on 60 Minutes: "I'll say it right to the camera, stop it."

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) trumpstopit2.mp3 - Donald Trump on 60 Minutes: "Stop it."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (21k) tuckyouinbed.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Tell her to tuck you into bed."

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) uh.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Uh!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (1.4M) umbrellaholder.mp3 - You too can apply to be a professional umbrella holder for Michael Jackson.

  • New! [ Download ] (28k) underwears.mp3 - Peter Griffin in Family Guy: "Ugh. That's the end of those underwears."

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) unf.mp3 - Some random David Lee Roth noise.

  • New! [ Download ] (51k) vanhalenwhistle.mp3 - The Van Halen whistle.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (10k) vanload.mp3 - An irate woman, in reference to illegal Mexican immigrants: "If there's a van load of 'em, pull 'em all over!"

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) goodytwoshoes.mp3 - An irate old man on Cops: "Oh, goody two-shoes for you!"

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) handsomemarry1.mp3 - Will Forte in MacGruber: "Really? Well if you think he's so handsome, then why don't you marry him?"

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) handsomemarry2.mp3 - Will Forte in MacGruber: "No seriously, if you think he's so handsome go marry him."

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) heyisaidgetout.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in Sling Blade: "Hey! I said, get out of my house!"

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) hittingthatass.mp3 - J.B. Smoove on Curb Your Enthusiasm: "I'm the President of hittin' that ass!"

  • New! [ Download ] (12k) hornylinda.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in Sling Blade: "That kinda makes me horny Linda."

  • New! [ Download ] (11k) howhung.mp3 - Drew: "How hung was he by the way?"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (16k) weasel.mp3 - Robert Duvall, in response to Drew and Mike calling him one morning in his hotel room: "Don't weasel in!"

  • New! [ Download ] (19k) whathappenedthere.mp3 - Larry King: "What happened there?"

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) whathappenedwolf.mp3 - Wolf Blitzer unprofessionally throwing to a reporter: "What happened? What's going on?"

  • New! [ Download ] (43k) whatifkidssee.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "Whoa, really? What if kids see this?"

  • New! [ Download ] (56k) whatjusthappened.mp3 - Rachel Reilly on Big Brother: "What just happened? How did this happen again?"

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) whatsgoodaboutit.mp3 - Dr. Phil: "What's good about it?"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (23k) whatthehell2.mp3 - Roland Winkler on the Leif Garrett episode of Behind the Music: "What the hell happened that night?"

  • New! [ Download ] (46k) whuoh.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Whu ohh!"

  • New! [ Download ] (44k) woo.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Woooooo!"

  • New! [ Download ] (46k) woowoo.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Woooooo! Wooooo!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (33k) worldclassliar.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "She's a world class liar."

  • New! [ Download ] (50k) worldclassliar2.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Hillary Clinton. She's a world class liar."

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) yeahdavidlee.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Yeah!"

  • New! [ Download ] (47k) yeahdavidlee2.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Yeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!"

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) ablackguy.mp3 - From Family Guy: "Hey, a black guy! Oooh, fun!"

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) runninonemore.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Runnin' one more time!"

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) russianthankyou.mp3 - From the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were Russian I'd say spasibo"

  • New! [ Download ] (52k) securitybreach.mp3 - From South Park: "Security breach!"

  • New! [ Download ] (1.6M) segersingstigerssongs.mp3 - From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Bob Seger reworks his songs to include the Detroit Tigers

  • New! [ Download ] (799k) shrek.mp3 - Monica Conyers calls Ken Cockrel "Shrek"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (19k) shutup.mp3 - Adam Sandler in Billy Madison: "Shut up!"

  • New! [ Download ] (33k) smartguy.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "He's a smart guy, that Rick."

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) smearfeces.mp3 - Danny DeVito in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "When they know they're getting thrown out of a house, they smear feces all over the walls."

  • New! [ Download ] (72k) smoothsailing.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "I think uhm, once he does get a job I think everything's going to be smooth sailing."

  • New! [ Download ] (51k) sodamngood.mp3 - Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "You made me feel so damn good that night!"

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) spanishthankyou.mp3 - From the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were Spanish I'd say gracias."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (18k) stanley.mp3 - Diane Sawyer interviewing Tom Cruise: "Stanley"

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) stealit.mp3 - Jon Glaser on Parks and Recreation: *laughing* "I like that. I'm going to steal it. That's mine now."

  • New! [ Download ] (76k) steroids.mp3 - Danny McBride in Eastbound & Down:"Obviously I'm not going to need steroids once I'm fucking in shape, this is just to kick start the training dude."

  • New! [ Download ] (332k) steroidsfull.mp3 - The full cut of Danny McBride in Eastbound & Down trying to procure some steroids.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (379k) superbowl.mp3 - Greg Lloyd wants everyone to listen to him swear on live TV after winning the Superbowl: "Listen, we'd like to pause for a minute. Listen... Listen... Listen...Listen...Guys, we've waited for one whole year to get this trophy and it means so much to everybody in here that I don't think, you know, it go without adieu(?). This thing belongs to Mr. Rooney, it belongs here, and let's see if we can bring this damn thing back here next year along with the fucking Superbowl. Here we go."

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) thankyouforthat.mp3 - Dr. Phil: "Thank you for that."

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) thankyouryan.mp3 - Dick Clark on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve: "Thank you, Ryan."

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) thankyouverymuchryan.mp3 - Dick Clark on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve: "Thank you very much, Ryan."

  • New! [ Download ] (825k) tbcthefartsong.mp3 - The Toilet Bowl Cleaners song, The Fart Song

  • New! [ Download ] (796k) tbcthepeesong.mp3 - The Toilet Bowl Cleaners song, The Pee Song

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) tomcruisescreaming.mp3 - Tom Cruise screaming in the 2017 version of The Mummy.

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) thethriller2.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "The Thriller."

  • New! [ Download ] (57k) thatstinks.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: *sniffing a dog's butt* "Oooo, that stinks! Haha, haha."

  • New! [ Download ] (9k) uhmno.mp3 - Voiceover guy in a Bill Schuette political ad railing challenger Mark Totten: "Uhm, no."

  • New! [ Download ] (33k) uhnnnnn.mp3 - Some random David Lee Roth noise.

  • New! [ Download ] (7k) vincentjamesmusic.mp3 - Vincent James answering his phone: "Music!"

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) wellyeahbaby.mp3 - Gina the phone sex operator: "Well, yeah baby!"

  • New! [ Download ] (8k) whatbaby.mp3 - Gina the phone sex operator: "What, baby?"

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) firefighter911laugh.mp3 - The infamous clip of a NYC firefighter laughing about going home to a hot tub and his wife after 9-11: "-but that's another story!" *laughs*

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (54k) firefighter911laughfull.mp3 - The full version of the infamous clip of a NYC firefighter laughing about going home to a hot tub and his wife after 9-11: "And I got home about two o'clock in the morning and hopped in the Jacuzzi with my wife, but that's another story!" *laughs*

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) stoplooking.mp3 - Steve Little in Eastbound & Down: "Stop looking at me shit! Stop it!"

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) stillsleeping.mp3 - John Madden's FAKE sleeping excuse: "No no no, I'm still sleeping."

  • New! [ Download ] (51k) philcollinsdrumbreak.mp3 - The Phil Collins drum break from In the Air Tonight, sometimes used for dramatic effect.

  • New! [ Download ] (330k) nonsequituramericanpharoh.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: American Pharoah

  • New! [ Download ] (104k) nonsequiturarod.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: A-Rod

  • New! [ Download ] (307k) nonsequiturbatmansticker.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Batman Sticker

  • New! [ Download ] (304k) nonsequiturburgerkingorder.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Burger King Order

  • New! [ Download ] (60k) notmyfirstchoice.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Believe me, she would not be my first choice. That I can tell you."

  • New! [ Download ] (69k) ohwouldyoulookatthis.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Oh would you look at this? Oh my goodness, what is it?"

  • New! [ Download ] (41k) ohwouldyoulookatthis2.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Oh would you look at this?"

  • New! [ Download ] (72k) sickbastard.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "What kind of sick bastard is fantasizing about this? On my tax dollars!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (39k) singlemom.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "Yeah well you know, it's tough being a single mom you know."

  • New! [ Download ] (67k) whaleofamoment.mp3 - Dick Clark on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve: "You know, we have a whale of a moment."

 
 

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