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Sounds A - D
Drew and Mike

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E - M, N - S, T - Z
 

Use the filter to find particular sound clips. If the audio isn't on this page, try one of the others. If you still can't find it, send me a request.


  • [ Download ] (21.5k) 10inches.wav - Some football commentator: "Looks like about 10 inches."

  • [ Download ] (29k) 10vaginas.mp3 - Tyra Banks: "Between them, they have 10 vaginas"

  • [ Download ] (24k) 1111111.mp3 - 60-year old John Hagensicker, an irate neighbor of former Tampa Bay Bucaneers wide receiver Mike Williams, references the number showing up on his call display when Drew and Marc called him: "1-1-1-1-1-1-1, really?"

  • [ Download ] (90.5k) 1stladybox.wav - Some Fox News reporter and some unfortunate wording during the 2004 State of the Union address

  • New! [ Download ] (33k) 15dollars.mp3 - A protest to increase the minimum wage for fast food workers: *chanting* "I want (I want) I want my fifteen dollars!"

  • [ Download ] (23.9k) 3inchpenis.wav - "The one with the 3 inch penis."

  • [ Download ] (865k) 3inchtool.mp3 - The 3 Inch Tool Looney Tune

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (28k) 45mins.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "For like forty five minutes"

  • [ Download ] (20k) 4inches.mp3 - From TV's South Park: "Oh man, it's about four inches long."

  • [ Download ] (12k) 4waykiss.mp3 - Some gay guy from MTV's "Next": "Maybe we should have a four way kiss"

  • [ Download ] (23k) 5seconds.wav - Napoleon Dynamite: "I can make that much money in five seconds!"

  • [ Download ] (16k) 69.mp3 - Adam Sandler: "69!!! Heh heh hah ha!"

  • [ Download ] (41k) 711.wav - Ali G: "There has been enough sadness since the terrible events of 7-11"

  • [ Download ] (15k) 7inches.mp3 - Benjy from Howard Stern on Demand at the Anthony Weiner resignation press conference: "Are you more than seven inches?"

  • [ Download ] (17k) 75yearsago.mp3 - Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons": "I heard that one seventy-five years ago"

  • [ Download ] (74.6k) 8oclock.wav - Ali G: "Check it. It is 8 o'clock in da mornin'. Which is the earliest I eva' been up."

  • [ Download ] (47k) 81yroldbullshit.wav - Some old Detroit dude: "I'm 81 years old and I'm in good shape, but I can't stand that bullsh--"

  • [ Download ] (30.2M) 9112008.mp3 - A 70+ minute 2008 rebroadcast of the show as it aired on September 11th, 2001.

  • [ Download ] (580k) 911andcallanalysis.mp3 - Mike tells the gang about a recent 911 call he made, which leads into an analysis of the typical Mike Clark phone message

  • [ Download ] (370k) 911callerfaced.mp3 - A Michigander calling 911 about a large pileup on I94 in January, 2015 wants the dispatcher to shut up and listen very carefully

  • [ Download ] (672k) 911catlady.mp3 - A disturbed lady calls up the police in hopes that they will come and have her cat put to sleep.

  • [ Download ] (23.5k) 9incher.mp3 - Ali G from "Da Ali G Show" explaining how God has a "9 incher".

  • [ Download ] (17k) 9thplace.mp3 - Robert DeNiro in "Meet the Fokkers": "I didn't know they made ninth place ribbons"

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) abigmouth.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "She's a woman that's been very ineffective, other than she's got a big mouth."

  • New! [ Download ] (14k) abigscam.mp3 - Donald Trump during one of his 2016 Presidential rallies: "It's a big scam!"

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) ablackguy.mp3 - From Family Guy: "Hey, a black guy! Oooh, fun!"

  • [ Download ] (10k) abouttocry.mp3 - Danny McBride: "What are you about to cry?"

  • [ Download ] (17k) absoluteload.mp3 - Some sports commentator: "This guy is an absolute load."

  • New! [ Download ] (54k) abu.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson tending to Blanket: "Yes, aboo!"

  • [ Download ] (30k) acapulco.mp3 - Porn talent agent Jim South: "Now if you're bikini, it's a hundred. If you're topless it's two hundred. If you give centerfold it's give thousand and bing to the bong we're off to acapulco, right?"

  • [ Download ] (16.0k) accessdenied.wav - Homer Simpson: "Access denied"

  • New! [ Download ] (108k) adeledazeem.mp3 - John Travolta attempting to introduce Idina Menzel at the Oscars: "Here to perform the Oscar-nominated, gorgeously empowering song Let It Go from the Oscar-winning animated movie Frozen, please welcome the wickedly talented, one and only, Adele Dazeem."

  • [ Download ] (61k) adozenshoes.mp3 - Ted Patchell, a gay "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" contestant, lets Regis know what he would do with the million dollars if he won, most notably splurge and buy a dozen shoes all at once.

  • [ Download ] (19k) aerosmith.mp3 - The mayor of Atlanta at the time describing the getaway vehicle of a man who went bezerk: "-in his aerosmith van."

  • [ Download ] (9k) aflac.mp3 - The Aflac duck

  • [ Download ] (58.7k) agenaturally.wav - Mayor Quimby from The Simpsons: "Thanks to this clinic, we will no longer be terrorized by the spectacle of women aging naturally."

  • New! [ Download ] (11k) ahboy.mp3 - Donald Trump during one of his 2016 Presidential rallies: "Ah boy"

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) ahha.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Ah ha!"

  • [ Download ] (29k) ahhthefrench.mp3 - Outtake from an Orson Welles wine commercial: "Ahhhh the french champagne!"

  • [ Download ] (17k) ahhthefrenchmellow.mp3 - Outtake from an Orson Welles wine commercial, but mellower: "Ahhhhhhhhh the french!"

  • [ Download ] (74k) ahole.wav - John Madden: "He started in like, the uh, the "two" hole, bounced it all the way outside to the "A" hole, and then got it in the endzone.

  • [ Download ] (12k) ahomo.mp3 - Some old lady: "You're a homo."

  • New! [ Download ] (28k) aintgotnoband.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in the movie Sling Blade: *smashes a window* "We don't got no god damn band."

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) aintlistenin.mp3 - Billy Bob Thornton in the movie Sling Blade: "I ain't listenin' to you no more."

  • [ Download ] (25k) airragetwins.mp3 - A clip of the drunken Michigan "models", Cynthia and Crystal Mikula, on their way to a competition in China.

  • [ Download ] (66k) airragetwins2.wav - A second clip of the drunken Michigan "models", Cynthia and Crystal Mikula, on their way to a competition in China.

  • [ Download ] (32k) airragetwins3.wav - A third clip of the drunken Michigan "models", Cynthia and Crystal Mikula, on their way to a competition in China.

  • [ Download ] (23.7k) airragetwins4.wav - A fourth clip of the drunken Michigan "models, Cynthia and Crystal Mikula, on their way to a competition in China.

  • [ Download ] (11k) airyfart.mp3 - An airy fart

  • [ Download ] (21k) alcoholfactor.wav - Detroit Newscaster Rich Fisher: "Alcohol may have been a factor."

  • [ Download ] (56k) alienabductee.mp3 - A supposed alien abductee under hypnosis recounts his "abduction"

  • [ Download ] (12k) alittewhacko.mp3 - Larry King: "A little whacko but that's ok."

  • [ Download ] (69k) alkaline.mp3 - Apparently a WRIF employee who isn't originally from the area does a read about a Detroit Tigers Al Kaline giveaway but makes a crucial mistake.

  • [ Download ] (29k) alkaseltzer.mp3 - Matt Marcotte, a dorky "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" contestant: "'Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is', Alka-Seltzer."

  • New! [ Download ] (9k) allalie.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "All a lie."

  • [ Download ] (28.5k) allergic.wav - Marisleysis Gonzalez: "He's allergic to things that they dunno!"

  • [ Download ] (49.6k) allergic2.wav - Marisleysis Gonzalez: "They must've given him something to calm him down and I'm concerned because he is allergic to something!"

  • New! [ Download ] (33k) alotofrapes.mp3 - Danny McBride: "Hey! Potential home buyers! I hope you all know that there were a lot of rapes that happened in this house!"

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) alrightlater.mp3 - Some WRIF caller: "Alright, later."

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) alrightthen.mp3 - Billy Bob Thornton in the movie Sling Blade: "Alright then."

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) alwaysknewit.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "I always knew it."

  • New! [ Download ] (36k) alwaysknewit2.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "I always fucking knew it."

  • [ Download ] (80k) amazing.mp3 - A medley of people saying how amazing things are on the Bachelor

  • [ Download ] (53k) amazing2.mp3 - Another string of amazings from tv's "The Bachelor"

  • New! [ Download ] (141k) america.mp3 - Randy in South Park: "Arresting me for what? I'm not allowed to stand up for myself? I thought this was America! Huh? Isn't this America? I'm sorry, I thought this was America."

  • [ Download ] (28k) americanidol.wav - Some of the theme music from American Idol. To be played after a contestant has been ripped apart on the actual Fox program, "American Idol", or after airing bad news on the Drew and Mike show.

  • [ Download ] (29.6k) americanidol1.wav - From American Idol: "I really respect your opinion but what did you guys think?

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) americawin.mp3 - A pro Hillary Clinton redneck: "America is going to win."

  • New! [ Download ] (149k) amyfisherporntape.mp3 - A portion of audio from Amy Fisher's sex tape.

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) analextra.mp3 - From South Park: "Anal will cost ya' extra."

  • [ Download ] (28k) anass.wav - "He's an ass, and he can kiss mine"

  • New! [ Download ] (60k) anditsgone.mp3 - From TV's South Park: "We can put that check in a money market mutual fund, then we'll re-invest the earnings into foreign currency accounts with compounding interest aaaand it's gone."

  • New! [ Download ] (36k) anditsgone2.mp3 - From TV's South Park: "Greeeat. We can just put that into your retirement account and make it go to work for you aaaaand it's gone."

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) anditsgone3.mp3 - From TV's South Park: "Don't worry. We can just transfer money from your account into a portfolio with your savings... AAAAAND IT'S GONE!"

  • [ Download ] (7k) andsheneedstogo.mp3 - Elderly Detroit resident Ruth Williams at a protest against a water rate increase: "And she needs to go!"

  • [ Download ] (18k) anending.mp3 - Homer Simpson: "Wow, that had what I really like in a story, an ending."

  • [ Download ] (154k) angrypalance.mp3 - Jack Palance let's a woman have it while attempting to read a promo or something.

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) anicelittleguy.mp3 - Donald Trump during one of his 2016 Presidential rallies: "Looks like a nice little guy actually"

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) anintern.mp3 - Diane Sawyer: "An intern... in the White House!"

  • [ Download ] (125k) annanicole.mp3 - Anna Nicole Smith sounding like a retard in general while talking to her son on her TV Show. Featuring the infamous "pigsnot" remark.

  • [ Download ] (127k) anticox.mp3 - The anti-Cox, pro Gary Peters political ad

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) antoniospizza.mp3 - Hank Azaria in the Jim Brockmire clip: "Reminds me, this poop is brought to you by Antonio's Pizzeria."

  • [ Download ] (43.9k) anus.wav - Borat character from "Da Ali G Show": "She must be uh, tight, like a man's anus."

  • [ Download ] (27.9k) anybodycare.wav - Homer from the "Simpsons": "Anybody care what this guy thinks?"

  • [ Download ] (16.4k) anyonepenis.wav - Homer from the "Simpsons": "Anyone for penis?"

  • [ Download ] (30k) apologize.wav - "I apologize. I mean, what else do you want me to say?"

  • [ Download ] (62k) apologize2.wav - "I apologize what happened. And I have that to say, and I'm finished right now, I'm gonna go home and rest."

  • [ Download ] (112k) apprenticechoke.mp3 - Donald Trump's COO chokes on an episode of "The Apprentice"

  • [ Download ] (2.0M) arabicmusic.mp3 - The arabic music that Drew and Mike may play as a bed under a phone call to the Middle East, for example. The song is Aliek Asaal by Aboud Abdel Al.

  • [ Download ] (59.4k) arabu.mp3 - Harry Caray tries to pronounce Hideki Irabu's name.

  • [ Download ] (47.3k) archbutt.wav - Some photographer?: "'Kay, you want to face the wall, put your hands up on the wall, and arch your butt back towards me."

  • New! [ Download ] (6k) areyathere.mp3 - Larry King: "Are ya there?"

  • [ Download ] (9k) areyougay.mp3 - A short clip from the Prince song Uptown: "Are you gay?"

  • [ Download ] (146k) areyougayfull.mp3 - The full clip of NFL quarterback Kordell Stewart being asked if he's gay.

  • New! [ Download ] (63k) areyouokay.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Are you okay? You okay? Are you alright?"

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) areyouokay2.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Are you okay?"

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) areyouserious.mp3 - Ben Graham, a legislative aide for former Michigan state Reps. Todd Courser and Cindy Gamrat: "Are you serious? What you talking about?"

  • New! [ Download ] (87k) armbuttfuck.mp3 - Danny McBride from Eastbound & Down: "I'm just kind of disappointed in my own arm and how it's trying to butt fuck me back here."

  • [ Download ] (181k) arnoldasianman.mp3 - A prank call to an anonymous asian man using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (211k) arnoldasshole.mp3 - A prank call to the Ameritania hotel, using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips, where some asshole tries to be funny.

  • [ Download ] (24.2k) arnoldbitch2.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "You son of a bitch!"

  • [ Download ] (474k) arnoldchineseguy.mp3 - A prank call to an anonymous asian guy using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (83k) arnoldcindy.mp3 - A prank call to some girl we'll call "Cindy" using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (221k) arnoldconfused.mp3 - A prank call to some confused woman using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (13.7k) arnoldcop.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "I'm a cop you idiot!"

  • [ Download ] (106k) arnoldcottons.mp3 - A prank call to Cottons Barbeque using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (13.8k) arnolddaddy.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Who is your daddy?"

  • [ Download ] (464k) arnolddrewmike.mp3 - Arnold Schwarzenegger makes a surprise call to Drew and Mike

  • [ Download ] (492k) arnolddrunkguy.mp3 - Arnold vs. some drunk guy

  • [ Download ] (674k) arnolddrunkguyagain.mp3 - Arnold vs. the drunk sounding guy again

  • [ Download ] (335k) arnoldescort.mp3 - A prank call to an escort service using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (45.1k) arnoldfist.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "But I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!"

  • [ Download ] (112k) arnoldfuckmom.mp3 - Arnold some guy who claims to have fucked his mom!

  • [ Download ] (279k) arnoldgateway1.mp3 - A prank call to Gateway Computers using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (270k) arnoldgateway2.mp3 - Another prank call to Gateway Computers using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (105k) arnoldgator.mp3 - A prank call to the Gator Lodge using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (13.2k) arnoldhmm.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Okay, hmm."

  • [ Download ] (88.1k) arnoldhooters.mp3 - A prank call to Hooters using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (157k) arnoldhotel.mp3 - Another prank call to a hell using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (6.1k) arnoldhow.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "How are you?"

  • [ Download ] (14.3k) arnoldkimble.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "I'm detective John Kimble!"

  • [ Download ] (30k) arnoldknow.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "First, I would just like to get to know you."

  • [ Download ] (12.1k) arnoldlack.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "You lack discipline!"

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) arnoldlovechild.mp3 - Benjy from Howard Stern on Demand at an Anthony Weinerpress conference: "Will you help to support Arnold's love child?"

  • [ Download ] (125k) arnoldmm1.mp3 - Marc and Mike Wolters try their hand at making an Arnie prank call.

  • [ Download ] (80.2k) arnoldmm2.mp3 - Marc and Mike's second attempt at making a prank call using Arnie clips.

  • [ Download ] (432k) arnoldmom.mp3 - A prank call to someone using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips and he wants to speak to their mother.

  • [ Download ] (7.4k) arnoldmorning.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Good Morning!"

  • [ Download ] (17.3k) arnoldpolice.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Hey, I'm a police officer."

  • [ Download ] (47.2k) arnoldquestions.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "I want to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want to have them answered immediately."

  • [ Download ] (91k) arnoldrealty.mp3 - A prank call to the Preferred Realty using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (160k) arnoldsecurity.mp3 - A prank call using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips to a security company I think?

  • [ Download ] (8k) arnoldsitdown.mp3 - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Sit down"

  • [ Download ] (146k) arnoldsomeguy.mp3 - A prank call to some guy using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (10.9k) arnoldstop.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Stop it!"

  • [ Download ] (165k) arnoldsunshine.mp3 - A prank call to the night clerk of the Sunshine Hotel using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (142k) arnoldtoughguy.mp3 - A prank call to some tough guy using Arnold Schwarzenegger clips.

  • [ Download ] (9.8k) arnoldwhining.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Stop whining!"

  • [ Download ] (7.8k) arnoldwho.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Who are you?"

  • [ Download ] (30k) arnoldwhodaddy2.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Who is your daddy, and what does he do?"

  • [ Download ] (6.1k) arnoldyeah.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Yeah."

  • [ Download ] (6.8k) arnoldyes.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Yes."

  • [ Download ] (9.2k) arnoldyes2.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Yeeeeess."

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) artbonesbach.mp3 - Former TV news anchor Amyre Makupson: "Art 'Bones' Bach, also from Michigan, was on hand to share his weight loss story."

  • [ Download ] (63.2k) arthur.wav - "Arthur is a manly man. And Arthur is very worried about Drew's manliness."

  • [ Download ] (477k) artmikedad.mp3 - Mike Clark recalls an incident involving his father and a 60's closet homosexual named Art during an apple picking trip.

  • [ Download ] (40k) asian.wav - Chris Tucker: "And all I hear is ... (imitates an asian language) I don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) askforgina.mp3 - Gina the phone sex operator: "Just ask for Gina baby."

  • [ Download ] (18.3k) assburnt.wav - Some guy convicted of having sex with a dog: "I'm gonna have your ass burnt"

  • [ Download ] (35k) assdamage.wav - "This ass here could do some serious damage"

  • [ Download ] (19k) assfart.wav - Jason Sudeikis: "If I wanted to hear from an ass I'd fart."

  • [ Download ] (38.7k) asshole.wav - Drew: "An ahhhhssssssss-hole!"

  • [ Download ] (25.5k) assplay.wav - From "Scary Movie": "Oh, I love when you play with my ass."

  • [ Download ] (24k) asspounding.wav - "Over the years my ass has taken a pounding"

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) ateweiners.mp3 - Mr. Burns from The Simpsons: "Whowho, I ate my share of weiners that day."

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) atotallie.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "A total and self serving lie."

  • [ Download ] (43k) auction.mp3 - The auctioneer clip played on the show whenever appropriate.

  • [ Download ] (34k) auditor.mp3 - Ted Patchell, a gay "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" contestant: "I'm an inventory auditor"
    Regis Philbin: "Which means?"
    Ted Patchell: "I go to stores and count everything in them."

  • [ Download ] (26k) awesomelies.wav - Homer Simpson: "Who am I fooling with my awesome lies?"

  • [ Download ] (213k) axlberg.mp3 - Advertisement for the law firm specializing in legal action against Guns N' Roses, Axelberg and Slashman.

  • New! [ Download ] (714k) b52sfollowyourbliss.mp3 - A portion of the B-52's song Follow Your Bliss, which is currently used for the Drew and Mike Podcast outro.

  • [ Download ] (20.3k) babycorner.wav - "Nobody puts baby in a corner."

  • [ Download ] (23.4k) babypoop.wav - Dr. Abian: "I will fling you like baby poop"

  • [ Download ] (16.3k) backnine.wav - Jim Carrey in "Me, Myself, and Irene": "Turnaround and play the back nine."

  • [ Download ] (33.5k) backto60s.wav - One of those asshole hosts of "American Idol" says "We're going back to the '60s!"

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) backto90s.mp3 - From South Park: "Go back to the '90s, faggots!"

  • [ Download ] (71k) backtofrontwipers.mp3 - Hank Azaria in the Jim Brockmire clip: "Brockmire one of the few back to front wipers in the league, very very unconventional. Ooooookay. Dabbin' at it. First he like to dab at it."

  • [ Download ] (18k) backtothefuture.mp3 - Britney Spears: "Have you ever seen 'Back to the Future'? Is that possible? To time- time travel speed?"

  • [ Download ] (17k) ballsack.wav - Principal Skinner from the Simpsons: "Chew through my ball sack."

  • [ Download ] (62k) ballsinhands.wav - Some basketball coach: "It seemed like we had all kinds of balls in and out of our hands and they- and they were able to knock 'em loose."

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) banginghorses.mp3 - Chris Farley in Black Sheep: "Taking 'im back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (29k) bangingroommate.mp3 - Some random audience member on The Jerry Springer Show: "I bet that you were banging your roommate that was in the shower." *crowd cheers*

  • [ Download ] (20k) bangingwife.wav - Homer Simpson: "Quit banging my wife!"

  • New! [ Download ] (44k) barackhusseinobama.mp3 - A pro Hillary Clinton redneck: "Ba-rack Hussein Obama?"

  • New! [ Download ] (48k) barackhusseinobama2.mp3 - A pro Hillary Clinton redneck: "Barrrrrrack Hussein Obama!"

  • [ Download ] (64.5k) barequeer.wav Rudy Boesch, the former Navy Seal and a contestant on TV's "Survivor" - "When I go home and my wife ask me about, 'Well who was with you?', I'll say a queer that runs around bare-assed half of the time"

  • [ Download ] (39.1k) barn.wav - John Schneider of Dukes of Hazzard fame in A Father's Son: "Sweetheart, slow down, you wanna keep eating like that you'll be as big as a barn"

  • [ Download ] (447k) barryreading.mp3 - Barry White really has a lot of trouble reading a radio promo.

  • [ Download ] (117k) baseballfuck.mp3 - Minnesota Twins commentator Bert Blyleven thinks he's taping a promo and swears when he screws up a read, but in reality, it's a live broadcast and everyone heard it

  • [ Download ] (18k) basketcase.mp3 - Donald Trump: "This woman, she's a basket case."

  • New! [ Download ] (89k) bathingapollo.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "I like this one because its- they're bathing Apollo. This looks like Apollo, and the girls are bathing him."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (116k) bathingapollo2.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "Excuse me? I want that one there, and this one. 'Cuz we have this- I bought this statue. That's the Bathing of Apollo, right?"

  • [ Download ] (23k) beapilot.wav - Mike Clark: "I wanna be a pilot!"

  • [ Download ] (197k) beatelmo.mp3 - The "Beat The Living Shit Out Of Me Elmo"

  • [ Download ] (88k) beatmeat.wav - John Madden: "You know they just beat the meat to death like that and throw it in a fryer."
    Al Michaels: "It's a lot of fat grams whatever it is."

  • [ Download ] (41k) beatoff.mp3 - Darren Pang, ESPN hockey color commentator: "-Stephan Yel, through the neutral zone. First he beats off, *laughing* Chris Chelios, and then he beats, Eric - *laughing more* - before firing that one wide, on Jeff Hackett, low to the stick side. Great individual effort."

  • [ Download ] (75.9k) beatoff2.wav - Some guy explaining how a woman tried to defend herself from some killer bees: "She had 'em all over her face and in her hair. She had her shirt off, trying to- trying to beat 'em off. And when I tried to help her, they started on me."

  • New! [ Download ] (66k) beatoffattacker.mp3 - What sounds to me like M.L. Elrick describing someone being beat off

  • [ Download ] (28k) beatoffshark.mp3 - Diane Sawyer interviews a man about "beating off" a shark

  • [ Download ] (26.7k) beatswim.wav - Kelly, a contestant on TV's Survivor: "I got beat by a guy who can't even ----ing swim."

  • New! [ Download ] (132k) beautifulfat.mp3 - Will Forte in The Brothers Solomon: "You're beautiful, impeccable dresser, great personality, nice hair, FAT, great smile, smell good."

  • [ Download ] (29k) beefwithme.wav - Former Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm: "If you have a beef with me, bring it on."

  • [ Download ] (356k) beer911.mp3 - An old lady calls 911 because she can't get her beer bottles opened.

  • [ Download ] (13k) beerflush.mp3 - I think this is some random victim of hurricane Katrina: "The whole time the water was out, we were flushing the toilets with draft beer"

  • [ Download ] (18k) beerisonme.wav - Kwame Kilpatrick at the 2008 Detroit Red Wings victory parade: "The beer is on me!"

  • [ Download ] (26.6k) beinggay.wav - The Bruno character from "Da Ali G Show": "Being gay is the new coolest thing!"

  • [ Download ] (1.37M) belfourblows.mp3 - Drew and Mike try to get people to say "Belfour Blows" with some Donut Shop Terrorism.

  • [ Download ] (8k) bemybitch.mp3 - Jennifer Lopez: "I thought you wanted to be my bitch?"

  • New! [ Download ] (182k) benfranklin.mp3 - Chris Farley in Almost Heroes: "You want to be alone so you can shake hands with Ben Franklin? Huh?" *laughs*

  • [ Download ] (83.2k) beotch.wav - Beotch Ode

  • New! [ Download ] (1.0M) bertanderniegay.mp3 - Startingly evidence that Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie are gay. Part 1

  • New! [ Download ] (539k) bertanderniegay2.mp3 - Startingly evidence that Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie are gay. Part 2

  • [ Download ] (161k) bestcryever.mp3 - Rocky Lockridge on A&E's Intervention having what was dubbed the "best cry ever".

  • [ Download ] (258k) bestcryeverfull.mp3 - The full version of Rocky Lockridge and his son on A&E's Intervention in the "best cry ever".

  • [ Download ] (26k) betterbaseball.wav - From the TV Movie Cobb: "My ASS play better baseball than him!"

  • [ Download ] (65k) biblesirs.wav - Jay in "Clerks II": "You should read your Bible, sirs. You'll find all types of weird sh-- in there. Like did you know Jesus was a Jew?"

  • [ Download ] (14k) big.wav - O.J. Simpson at his civil trial: "Everything looks a little big"

  • [ Download ] (20k) bigass.wav - "Wooo you got a big ass!"

  • New! [ Download ] (58k) bigblueones.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "Look at these big blue ones, look how beautiful these are. These, right?"

  • New! [ Download ] (39k) bigbush.mp3 - From the movie Sling Blade: "She had a lot of hair on her arms. I like that. I like that a lot. It means a big bush. I like a big bush."

  • [ Download ] (17.2k) bigdick.wav - Mena Suvari from "American Beauty": "-bet he's got a big dick."

  • New! [ Download ] (38k) bigdicksout.mp3 - Gina the phone sex operator: "Well tell me boys, do you have those big hard dicks out already?"

  • New! [ Download ] (72k) biggerandbetter.mp3 - Dick Clark on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve: "And tonight, it's bigger and better than ever."

  • [ Download ] (24.8k) biggestdisaster.wav - Mike Clark in reference to the Great Coffee Spill: "That's the biggest disaster possibly ever"

  • [ Download ] (65.4k) biggirls.wav - Some fat girl on Jenny Jones: "I'd just like to say that I am big, and if you have a problem with big girls I will whoop your a*beep*."

  • [ Download ] (57.1k) bigitis.wav - "And he paused, put his hand on my knee, he leaned forward and he said 'You won't believe how BIG it is.'"

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) bigmagicjohnson.mp3 - Donald Sterling, former owner of the Los Angeles Clippers: "Big Magic Johnson, what has he done?"

  • [ Download ] (85k) bikecrash911.mp3 - Someone has a crash with a bike and encounters an asshole emergency dispatcher.

  • [ Download ] (189k) billbonds.mp3 - Some Bill Bonds outtakes

  • [ Download ] (41.7k) bitch.wav - Mike's famous "BIIIIIIIITCH"

  • [ Download ] (14k) blackcrowes.mp3 - "Black Crowes! Who says it? Haha! Who? Hahahhahaha"

  • [ Download ] (9k) blackfamily.mp3 - A black family on "The Amazing Race" who just so happen to have the surname "Black": "1, 2, 3, BLACK FAMILY!"

  • [ Download ] (10k) blackfamily2.mp3 - Announcer for "The Amazing Race": "The Black family from Woodbridge, Virgina"

  • [ Download ] (11k) blackfamilylast.mp3 - Host for "The Amazing Race": "Black family, you're the last team to arrive"

  • [ Download ] (50.9k) blackpeople.wav - Omarosa from "The Intern" thinks everyone's racist

  • [ Download ] (67k) blahblah.wav - "All I hear comin' out of your mouth is blah blah blah blah" *mumble* "I don't know what the hell you're saying, just shut up."

  • [ Download ] (154k) blakeoj.mp3 - Robert Blake reveals his homosexual feelings for O.J. Simpson to Barbara Walters

  • [ Download ] (8k) blankbrains.mp3 - Chris Hansen on Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator": "I want to blank your brains out. I can't help it"

  • New! [ Download ] (54k) blanket.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "Blanket! I love you, Blanket! Yes, yes, yes!"

  • New! [ Download ] (51k) blanket2.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "Blanket! Blanket! Blanket, I love you! Blanket!"

  • New! [ Download ] (275k) blanketbottle.mp3 - Michael Jackson attempting to bottle feed his son "Blanket" in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson.

  • [ Download ] (44k) blanketface.wav - Donato the "Fisherman": (crying) "And there was a lady with a blanket and she took it and put it over his face!"

  • [ Download ] (14k) blankingyourblank.mp3 - Chris Hansen on Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator": "I cannot believe that I am actually thinking about blanking your blank"

  • New! [ Download ] (14k) blanksucked.mp3 - Drew imitating one of his favorite Kwame Kilpatrick text messages, radio friendly edition: "I need my blank sucked!"

  • New! [ Download ] (30k) blanksucked2000.mp3 - Drew imitating one of his favorite Kwame Kilpatrick text messages, radio friendly edition with bonus incorrect Jerry Maguire citation: "I need my blank sucked! Kwame, 2000."

  • [ Download ] (17k) blowit.mp3 - Former Detroit Lions coach Steve Mariucci: "Blow it! Blow it! BLOOOOW IT!"
    *horn blows*
    "Get that horn out of your butt"

  • [ Download ] (12k) blownaway.mp3 - Jennifer Granholm: "And in five years, you're going to be blown away"

  • [ Download ] (56.5k) bobbyknight.mp3 - Bobby Knight commenting on the officials in college basketball.

  • [ Download ] (30.8k) bobbyknight2.mp3 - Bobby Knight giving an inspirational speech.

  • [ Download ] (195.5k) bobbyknight3.mp3 - Bobby Knight chewing out his U. of Indiana basketball players.

  • [ Download ] (97k) bobbyknight4.mp3 - Bobby Knight comments during a press conference at the NCAA tournament. He wants to help the press.

  • [ Download ] (95k) bobbymedia.mp3 - Bobby Knight steps in to answer a question

  • [ Download ] (86k) bobbymedia2.mp3 - A member of the media thinks that Bobby Knight won't be coming out of the lockerroom but boy is he wrong.

  • [ Download ] (138k) bobdinner.mp3 - Bill Murray in the dinner scene from "What About Bob?".

  • [ Download ] (38.4k) bobguinney.wav - Bob Guinney from "The Bachelor": "Deeeeetroit Basssketballlll!"

  • [ Download ] (226k) bodyguardschool.mp3 - The Shawn Eckhardt School of Bodyguarding and Counterintelligence.

  • [ Download ] (19k) bodyhair.wav - Chris Hansen on Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator": "Do you have any body hair?"

  • [ Download ] (27k) bodymassage.wav - From a dubbed G.I. Joe PSA: "Who want's a body massage?"

  • [ Download ] (7.2k) bogue.wav - Sounds like Madonna's "Vogue". Used whenever referring to someone or something who is bad or dumb and relating to narcotics: "Bogue!"

  • [ Download ] (8k) boing.mp3 - The springy boner sound effect

  • [ Download ] (11k) boingextended.mp3 - Extended version of the springy boner sound effect

  • [ Download ] (7k) boingfast.mp3 - Fast version of the springy boner sound effect

  • [ Download ] (9k) boingslow.mp3 - Slow version of the springy boner sound effect

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (22k) bomb.mp3 - Roland Winkler on the Leif Garrett episode of Behind the Music: "Ready for a bomb?"

  • [ Download ] (35.3k) boneriffic.wav - "By the way Hilary, did I tell you you look boneriffic?"

  • [ Download ] (9k) bonertime.mp3 - "Hit the lights, it's boner time"

  • New! [ Download ] (205k) bonessubwaycommercial.mp3 - Art "Bones" Bache's Subway Commercial. Get on mic, Art!

  • [ Download ] (46.1k) bong.mp3 - Someone taking a bonghit (dual carb).

  • [ Download ] (4k) boobs.mp3 - Some guy simply saying "Boobs" in a sort of robotic fashion

  • [ Download ] (40.3k) boobsgenius.wav - "An hour, in and out. Done. Boobs. Genius."

  • [ Download ] (15k) boomdynamite.mp3 - An aspiring college tv sportscaster : "Later he gets the rebound, passes it to the man, shots it- and boom goes the dynamite"

  • [ Download ] (44.7k) boratliar.wav - Borat from "Da Ali G Show": "He will say bad things but, that is because he is a liar."

  • [ Download ] (43k) boratvote.mp3 - Borat from "Da Ali G Show": "Ah he is a strong man, he will crush his opponents. And he will be, uh, powerful like Stalin and not tolerate people who are bad"

  • [ Download ] (11k) boratvote2.mp3 - Borat from "Da Ali G Show": "If you do not vote for him, he will take power"

  • [ Download ] (33k) boratvote3.mp3 - Borat from "Da Ali G Show": "If you vote for him uh, he will make sure that you and your family will have very good years. But if you do not vote for him, you will be sorry"

  • [ Download ] (13.7k) boratwhat.wav - Borat from "Da Ali G Show": "What?"

  • [ Download ] (19k) boring.wav - Homer Simpson: "BORRRRRRRING".

  • New! [ Download ] (54k) boringtrump.mp3 - Donald Trump: "Ugh, boring! Boring!"

  • [ Download ] (34k) bothhands.mp3 - John Madden expressing how you have to got a hold with "both hands" and "hold on"

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) bothsayit.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Do we both say it?"

  • New! [ Download ] (39k) boughttheseright.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "We bought these right? And these?"

  • New! [ Download ] (41k) boughtthisone.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "Bought this one, this one."

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) boughtthisoneright.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "I bought this one, right?"

  • [ Download ] (1.0M) bowelmoves.mp3 - The Bowel Moves Looney Tune.

  • [ Download ] (240k) bowietickets.mp3 - The Mike Clark classic where he makes a drunken cell phone call from an ATM in hopes of having some tickets to a David Bowie show set aside for him.

  • [ Download ] (21.3k) brainbusters.wav - Adam Sandler: "Anymore brain busters?"

  • New! [ Download ] (32k) brainchicken.mp3 - Sacha Baron Cohen on Saturday Night Live: "He has a brain like a chicken."

  • [ Download ] (52.4k) brainpower.wav - Homer Simpson: "I'll figure it out. I'm gonna use all the power of my brain."

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) brandon2days.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "I see Brandon gets two days a week, huh?"

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) brandonfired.mp3 - Donald Trump: "Brandon, you're doing a terrible job, you're fired."

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) branDONhmm.mp3 - Tom Mazawey: "BranDON. Hmm. Ok."

  • [ Download ] (5k) brasize.mp3 - Chris Hansen on Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator": "What bra size do you wear?"

  • New! [ Download ] (91k) breakingnews.mp3 - The breaking news sounder from a Majic Windows commercial: "Breaking news, with Mort Crim."

  • New! [ Download ] (2.0M) breakingnewstoilet.mp3 - Breaking News: A toilet won't stop flushing in the Greater Media building. It was described as "flushing wildly".

  • [ Download ] (16.1k) bringiton.wav - "Bring it on woman."

  • [ Download ] (16.5k) bringwhores.wav - Will Ferrell: "Bring out the whores!"

  • [ Download ] (43k) britneygoodnight.wav - Britney Spears: "Alright everybody, have a good night! Wooo!"

  • [ Download ] (115k) britneyswears.mp3 - Britney Spears complains about someone not performing a "vamp". There is some internet speculation that this is a fake. In that, the clip was either scripted by the Record Co. or released purposely by them to help Britney's image.

  • [ Download ] (49.3k) brokawpot.mp3 - Tom Brokaw reveals a Nightly News secret.

  • [ Download ] (21.2k) brokebed.wav - Marisleysis Gonzalez: "They broke Elian's bed!"

  • [ Download ] (55k) brokebitches.mp3 - Propecia the crack ho: "I tell ya what bitch, come join me. We'll get a crack rock, get a fifth of liquor, and we can smoke all goddamn night and feel better by daybreak. But we gonna be some broke bitches."

  • [ Download ] (58.4k) browneye.wav - From a cleverly clipped Aerosmith song: "I'd love to look into your big brown eye"

  • [ Download ] (54k) brucewillis.mp3 - Prank call using Chris Farley clips to some wiseass. Origin of the "I guess he's pumping somebody" drop

  • [ Download ] (55k) budbowl.wav - Homer Simpson: "Oh, I didn't need that new fact, no I forgot who won Bud Bowl 8!"

  • New! [ Download ] (6.8M) buffalojills.mp3 - Drew and Marc dissect the "General hygiene & lady body maintenance" section of the handbook given to Buffalo Bills cheerleaders, known as the Jills - with bonus appearance by Nikita Denise!

  • New! [ Download ] (157k) bukkakeporno.mp3 - Random executive in a K-Swiss ad campaign: "K, what's bew-cake porno?"
    Danny McBride: "Bukkake, you dumb motherfucker. What, you been livin' in a cave? It's like an old Asian traditional porno. Just- it's hilarious. I need that shit. Next."

  • [ Download ] (37k) bulldyke.wav - "If she wasn't a bulldyke, I think I might have a bit of a thing for her."

  • [ Download ] (22.3k) bullshit.wav - L.T.: "That's total bullsh--"

  • [ Download ] (8k) bullshit2.mp3 - Prince Frederick von Anhalt, Zsa Zsa's husband: "Bullsh--! I'm telling you bullsh--!"

  • [ Download ] (13k) bunchoflosers.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in the movie Sling Blade: "Ya'll just a bunch of losers."

  • [ Download ] (41.2k) burnhell.wav - Samuel L. Jackson from "A Time To Kill": "Yes they deserved to die and I hope they burn in hell!"

  • [ Download ] (206k) burnspranks.mp3 - A prank call using Mr. Burns clips from "The Simpsons"

  • [ Download ] (57k) burnsprank1.mp3 - A prank call using Mr. Burns clips from "The Simpsons"

  • [ Download ] (61k) burnsprank2.mp3 - A prank call using Mr. Burns clips from "The Simpsons"

  • [ Download ] (52k) burnsprank3.mp3 - A prank call using Mr. Burns clips from "The Simpsons"

  • [ Download ] (93k) burnsprank4.mp3 - A prank call using Mr. Burns clips from "The Simpsons"

  • [ Download ] (158k) burnsprank5.mp3 - A prank call using Mr. Burns clips from "The Simpsons"

  • [ Download ] (51k) burnspranks6.mp3 - A prank call using Mr. Burns clips from "The Simpsons"

  • [ Download ] (10k) bushblackpeople.mp3 - Kanye West during a hurricane Katrina relief telethon: "George Bush doesn't care about black people"

  • [ Download ] (243k) bushes.mp3 - Barbara Walters conducts a very revealing interview with U.S. President Bush and the First Lady.

  • [ Download ] (9k) bushharryjohnson.mp3 - George W. Bush: "I wanna thank Harry Johnson"

  • [ Download ] (29k) bushpistons.mp3 - George W. Bush introducing Mehmet Okur and the Detroit Pistons at the White House.

  • [ Download ] (72.8k) bushwalk.wav - "You give me a bush dude, and I'm walking. I don't care how old a guy I am, I don't care how hard my dick is, I'm walking out of that room."

  • [ Download ] (64k) bustediswhatyousee.wav - Huel Perkins from WJBK reading a Kwame Kilpatrick text message: "Haha. Damn that. Never busted. Busted is what you see. Haha."

  • [ Download ] (17.2k) buttmike.wav - Butt Mike speaks.

  • New! [ Download ] (20k) butwewill.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "But we will, once I become President."

  • [ Download ] (42.7k) buybook.wav - Some irate guy DM talked to once: "Go buy yourself a book and get into the washroom and take care of yourself."

  • [ Download ] (27.8k) buybra.wav - I assume this is an audience member yelling at someone on the Jerry Springer show: "If you make so much money, why don't you buy a bra."

  • [ Download ] (12k) buyyou.wav - From "Da Ali G Show": "Can I buy you?"

  • [ Download ] (2.9M) buzzbirth.mp3 - Drew and Mike call a gay fraternity. The birth of the "Buzz: Drew & Mike's Supervisor" character

  • [ Download ] (3k) buzzerfart.mp3 - A fart that sounds like a buzzer. A.K.A. game show fart

  • [ Download ] (93.9k) byebye.wav - From the British children's TV show Teletubbies: "Time for tubby bye bye, time for tubby bye...Nooooooooo! Nooooo noooooo, noooo. No no, hehe"

  • [ Download ] (33.6k) byegreg.wav - Dick Vermeil: "Tough, to say goodbye Greg"

  • [ Download ] (15.4k) byesonofa.wav - "Bye bye son of a bitch"

  • [ Download ] (513k) cableguy2.mp3 - A very angry Rogers Cable customer leaves a series of harsh messages on the company's answering machine when his cable goes out.

  • [ Download ] (381k) cablerepair.mp3 - A customer has the tables turned on him when he calls a cable repairman about his cable being shut off.

  • [ Download ] (115k) calhoun.mp3 - Jim Calhoun goes on a tirade.

  • New! [ Download ] (14k) call911.mp3 - Will Forte in MacGruber: "Call 9-1-1!"

  • New! [ Download ] (14k) call9112.mp3 - "Somebody call 9-1-1!"

  • [ Download ] (43.8k) calledalaser.wav - From one of the Austin Powers movies: "Which was in essence, a sophisticated heat beam which we called a laser."

  • [ Download ] (47.6k) calledbitch.wav - A very effeminate sounding man describing following some guy who had just assaulted someone in a movie theatre: "Uh, he said he was going to beat me up if I kept following him. Called me a bitch."

  • [ Download ] (70k) callmedaddy.wav - "Call me daddy, call me daddy, bend over and then squeal like the pig that you are."

  • [ Download ] (13.4k) callsover.wav - An irate man Drew and Mike called once: "Well I guess this call's over."

  • [ Download ] (165k) carmenplacenta.mp3 - Fox 2's Kam Carmen throws the FOX2 morning show off track as she recalls how Tom Cruise said he was going to eat the placenta after the birth of his child, Suri.

  • [ Download ] (4k) campusmartius.mp3 - Drew saying "Campus Martius" in his effeminate voice

  • [ Download ] (11k) canadawasted.mp3 - "I'm from Canada and I'm wasted!"

  • [ Download ] (8k) canihelp.wav - Mrs. Jastrzab: "Can I help you?"

  • [ Download ] (16k) canitry.wav - Napoleon Dynamite: "Can I try it really quick?"

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) cantgetadate.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "He can't get a date so he's doing this instead."

  • [ Download ] (43.4k) cantgetwhatyou.wav - Drew and Mike are trying to call some girl but get this dick instead: "As Mick Jagger used to say, 'You can't always get what you want.'"

  • [ Download ] (33.4k) cantsing.wav - Simon Cowell from "American Idol": "You can't sing, you can't dance, so what do you want me to say?"

  • [ Download ] (13k) carass.mp3 - "My biggest complaint about this car is that it just looks like ass"

  • [ Download ] (13.9k) careful.wav - Homer Simpson: "Whoops, careful"

  • [ Download ] (23.6k) carethisguy.wav - Homer Simpson: "Anybody care what this guy thinks?"

  • [ Download ] (199k) carllewis.mp3 - Carl Lewis attempting to sing the U.S. National Anthem

  • [ Download ] (46.6k) carmen.wav - Carmen Harlan: "Ain't no party like a Detroit party."
    Kwame Kilpatrick: "Because a Detroit party doesn't stop."

  • [ Download ] (49.8k) carmen2.wav - Carmen Harlan: "Ain't no party like a Detroit party because a Detroit party doesn't stop!"

  • [ Download ] (86.7k) casey.mp3 - Casey Kasem doesn't like a move to 2AM for his radio program.

  • [ Download ] (199.7k) casey2.mp3 - Casey Kasem fuming while trying to read a long distance dedication involving a dog named "Snuggles".

  • [ Download ] (3k) castlefart.mp3 - What's being called the castle fart on the show

  • New! [ Download ] (45k) catfecus.mp3 - A neighbor (possibly named Wendel, I can't remember) of a house of skank that stunk like cat feces: "Well, it- it smells like, cat fecus."

  • New! [ Download ] (56k) checkinsideasshole.mp3 - From South Park: "Alright sir, I just needs to check inside your asshole."

  • [ Download ] (17k) catfish.mp3 - "Does anybody want anymore catfish?"

  • [ Download ] (295k) caulk.mp3 - A Crank Yankers prank call about getting some caulk.

  • [ Download ] (14.2k) caulkboard.wav - Mike Clark commenting during the Great Coffeespill: "Did they ever caulk this board?"

  • [ Download ] (2.1M) celinedion.mp3 - Drew and Mike, posing as "Those with no name", try to speak to Celine Dion over the phone

  • [ Download ] (15k) cellphoneblows.mp3 - Danny McBride in TV's Eastbound & Down: "Your cellphone blows."

  • New! [ Download ] (1.7M) chappelleonjackson.mp3 - The frequently played Dave Chappelle bit on Michael Jackson.

  • New! [ Download ] (1.0M) chappelleonsmart.mp3 - The frequently played Dave Chappelle bit on Elizabeth Smart.

  • [ Download ] (102k) charitytennisgrunts.mp3 - Anna Kournikova encouraging louder grunts at some stupidly mic'ed charity tennis match.

  • [ Download ] (39k) chattingonline.wav - Kip Dynamite: "Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day."

  • [ Download ] (459k) charliesheen.mp3 - Charlie Sheen's assistant leaves some voicemails for some slut that Charlie's done with

  • [ Download ] (149k) charliesheen2.mp3 - Charlie Sheen leaves a voicemail for some slut he banged followed by Mike Clark's Charlie Sheen impersonation

  • [ Download ] (23k) chauncey.wav - Chauncey Billups: "Deetroit basketball"

  • [ Download ] (18.2k) cheapbitch.wav - Peter Haskett: "You're a cheap little bitch."

  • [ Download ] (67k) cheatingvagina.mp3 - Hank Azaria in the Jim Brockmire clip: "Oh that one's waaay back, I can't see the ball. It's either outta here or lost inside my wife's big fat cheatin' vagina."

  • New! [ Download ] (55k) cheeseballs.mp3 - From TV's Jersey Shore: "What the f--- happened to my cheeseballs? Where's my cheeseballs? My cheeseballs were right here. Where's my f---ing cheeseballs?"

  • [ Download ] (39k) cheneyfuckyourself.mp3 - Dick Cheney is told to "go fuck himself" by a protester during a news conference

  • [ Download ] (675k) chiabush.mp3 - Chia Bush

  • [ Download ] (719k) chickencow.mp3 - The Chicken Cow song by Wesley Willis.

  • [ Download ] (17k) chocolateman.mp3 - From the movie "White Chicks": "What a beautiful chocolate man!"

  • [ Download ] (59k) chokereporter.mp3 - A reporter chokes when he has to ask Chauncey Billups a question during the NBA finals

  • New! [ Download ] (19k) chopper.mp3 - Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator: "Get to the choppa!"

  • [ Download ] (556k) chubbylittleloser.mp3 - David Bowie's Chubby Little Loser song from TV's Extras.

  • [ Download ] (29.2k) chubsy.wav - Mr. Burns: "Play along chubsy, there's a pie in it for you."

  • [ Download ] (261k) citycouncil.mp3 - Kay Everett and Sharon McPhail have a war of words during a Detroit City Council meeting

  • [ Download ] (7.7M) clara.mp3 - Drew and Mike go in search of a guy who had to pay $17,000 over flipping the bird to Brazilian customs but instead find the housekeeper Clara, and have a load of fun with her.

  • [ Download ] (38.5k) clarkson.wav - Brian Dunkelman from "American Idol": "With before your love, here's Kelly Clarkson."

  • [ Download ] (96.5k) clarkson2.wav - Brian Dunkelman from "American Idol": "Let's keep things moving with a song that got Kelly into the final ten. Singing Aretha Franklin's 'Respect', here's Kelly Clarkson!"
    - Drew: "Yes!"

  • [ Download ] (40k) clarksonfarting.mp3 - Kelly Clarkson farting

  • [ Download ] (15k) classic.mp3 - Jon Glaser on TV's Parks and Recreation: laughing "Classic!"

  • [ Download ] (27.1k) classof56.wav - Some dorky Dame fan referring to his father: "My dad's class of '56 of Notre Dame."

  • [ Download ] (18.7k) cleandesk.wav - Mr. Burns: "Clean out your desk, you're gone!"

  • [ Download ] (13.6k) clearance.wav - Homer Simpson: "Hold it, what's your clearance?"

  • [ Download ] (252k) clinton.mp3 - Hilary Clinton (aka the Human Alarm Clock) giving nauseating speeches

  • New! [ Download ] (9k) clintonwhat.mp3 - Hillary Clinton: "What?!"

  • [ Download ] (58.3k) clintonyzerman.wav - Former U.S. President Bill Clinton introducing Steve Yzerman and the Red Wings at a White House presentation.

  • New! [ Download ] (67k) clockisslow.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Ah man, I think the clock is slow man..."

  • [ Download ] (43k) cloggedtoilet.wav - "I clogged the toilet. I took a really big dump in it and I'm not strong enough to plunge it."

  • [ Download ] (390k) cnnbathroom.mp3 - CNN's Kyra Phillips unknowingly goes to the bathroom with a hot mic while a speech by George W. Bush is going out over the air

  • [ Download ] (110k) coachasskicked.mp3 - An irate football coach talking to the media after the game about how badly the team got their ass kicked.

  • [ Download ] (147k) coachsucked.mp3 - An irate football coach talking to the media after the game about how badly the team sucks.

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) coat.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "What happened to his coat?"

  • [ Download ] (178k) cobainlive.mp3 - The "Kurt Cobain Live" show

  • [ Download ] (34.6k) cobra.wav - A clip from "Walker, Texas Ranger": "He's as unpredictable as a cobra and three times as crazy."

  • New! [ Download ] (549k) cocaineattic.mp3 - Leonard Rowe: "Why do someone that's completely healthy need someone to take care of them? I consider myself healthy Larry. I don't have a doctor living with me. Do you have one living with you?"
    Larry King: "No. So you're implying foul play by sending a doctor there?"
    Leonard Rowe: "No, Larry. Let me say this to you-"
    Larry King: "I'm lost."
    Leonard Rowe: "Michael Jackson was addicted, we all know that. It's not a secret. Would you put a cocaine seller in the house with a cocaine attic?"
    Larry King: "Are you saying they put a cocaine seller in the house- the doctor was selling cocaine?"
    Leonard Rowe: "I didn't say that Larry. But he was able to write- he was able to administer drugs."

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) cocksuckers.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in the movie Sling Blade: "Hey! That goes for cocksuckers and retards."

  • [ Download ] (9k) coffeepoop.mp3 - Oprah Winfrey: "Many people say coffee makes them poop"

  • [ Download ] (82.6k) coffeespillslowmo.wav - Slow mo replay of the great September 18th coffee spill

  • [ Download ] (28k) cokewhore.mp3 - Dr. Phil: "Now that is one skanky looking coke whore"

  • [ Download ] (20k) college.wav - Kip Dynamite: "Your mom goes to college."

  • [ Download ] (34.4k) colonclear.wav - "You want your colon cleared? Fine. I'm gonna clean mine." *Fart*

  • [ Download ] (92.1k) coloncollision.wav - A pre Gay-per-view football play-by-play innuendo. Actually in reference to Harry Colon: "I think he jammed his shoulder or his head right into the buttocks of his own man."
    "Right there, that- that collision with colon..."

  • [ Download ] (305.8k) colonel.mp3 - KFC's Colonel Sanders attempting to read for a commercial in the 70's.

  • [ Download ] (29k) combherhead.mp3 - Some pimp on an HBO show I think: "I'm not really no woman beater type of dude, now I will lay my goon hand down. If I have to keep going over the same thing, over and over again, I am going to pull it on back for her, comb her head, know what I mean?"

  • New! [ Download ] (41k) comeonbuddy.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Come on buddy, you can do it!" *laughs*

  • [ Download ] (71.5k) comeonguys.wav - Tiger Woods teeing up: "Come on guys, watch your cameras... come on! JESUS CHRIST"

  • [ Download ] (27.9k) comeonme.wav - John Wayne Gacy: "And then he started, coming on to me"

  • [ Download ] (7k) cominginnow.mp3 - Hootie Johnson: "I believe they're coming in now"

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) comingrightnow.mp3 - Possibly from a Lee Steinberg commercial: "I'm cumming right now."

  • [ Download ] (1.2M) commanderinchief.mp3 - Drew thinks Gina Davis is too soft to be the President of the United States in tv's "Commander in Chief" so Drew decides to re-cut the audio

  • [ Download ] (32k) complaining.wav - Some father on "Nanny 911": "Stop complaining about everything!"

  • New! [ Download ] (44k) completebush.mp3 - Jason Sudeikis on Saturday Night Live: "I just got fired for being a complete bush."

  • New! [ Download ] (53k) completebush2.mp3 - Seth MacFarlane on Saturday Night Live: "What? How? That guy is such a complete bush."

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) completebutthole.mp3 - "You complete my butthole."

  • [ Download ] (25.8k) completeme.wav - Tom Cruise in "Jerry Maguire": "You, complete me."

  • [ Download ] (43k) compton.wav - "Aw yeah, right about now, Compton's in the muthafu--in' hooouse."

  • New! [ Download ] (89k) copwriteticket.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Whenever a cop writes you out a ticket, the first thing you do is you take the ticket and you say, would you look at this?"

  • [ Download ] (4k) conangay.mp3 - Conan O'Brien: "Gay!"

  • [ Download ] (7k) condoms.mp3 - Chris Hansen on Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator": "I have chocolate flavored condoms"

  • [ Download ] (35k) constantine.wav - That tool Constantine from "American Idol" squealing after singing a song

  • [ Download ] (11k) constantinecousin.wav - Peter Maroulis, some random guy who went around pretending to the cousin of Constantine (from American Idol) squealing

  • [ Download ] (53k) constantinecousinbetter.wav - Constantine's cousin: "What you see is what you get, but what you don't see is better yet. Woo!"

  • [ Download ] (151k) constantinecousinjeremy.mp3 - Constantine's cousin trying to sing "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam

  • [ Download ] (9k) constantinecousinquiet.wav - Constantine's cousin: "Hey be quiet"

  • [ Download ] (148k) constantinecousinstp.mp3 - Constantine's cousin trying to sing "Wicked Garden" by Stone Temple Pilots

  • [ Download ] (21k) constantinecousinyeah.wav - Constantine's cousin: "Yeah, yeah!"

  • [ Download ] (28k) contractor.mp3 - Homer Simpson: "A contractor? Those guys are the biggest crooks around. They charge for materials AND labour. Pick one, jerk!"

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) coffee.mp3 - Billy Bob Thornton in the movie Sling Blade: "Coffee makes me a might nervous when I drink it."

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) conduit.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Oh, I'll be your conduit."

  • [ Download ] (31.1k) coolest.wav Leif Garrett on "Behind the Music" - "That's like, the *bleep*in coolest thing anyone's ever said to me"

  • [ Download ] (37k) cookintodo.wav - "Get your ass in the kitchen and fire up the stuff 'cuz you've got some cookin' to do!"

  • [ Download ] (10k) coolestoldman.mp3 - "That is the coolest old man I have met in my entire life"

  • [ Download ] (7k) coolmom.mp3 - Amy Poehler: "I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom"

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) cosbycoocachoo.mp3 - Bill Cosby: "Goo ga coo ca chu!"

  • New! [ Download ] (435k) cosbytoteboard.mp3 - The Bill Cosby Alleged Sexual Assault Victim Toteboard

  • [ Download ] (35.6k) countingvotes.wav - Al Gore: "What is wrong with counting the vote?"

  • New! [ Download ] (102k) courtneybasspro.mp3 - Telemarketer Courtney calls Marc live during the podcast: "Hello Marc, this is Courtney with vacation foreign travel. I'm calling about an entry form you filled out at the Bass Pro Shop."

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) courtneybassproshopduh.mp3 - Telemarketer Courtney calls Marc live during the podcast: "I mean, duh."

  • New! [ Download ] (19k) courtneybassproshopfunny.mp3 - Telemarketer Courtney calls Marc live during the podcast: "You guys are funny."

  • [ Download ] (27k) coveringpaper.wav - Ali G from "Da Ali G Show": "Covering it wit' paper don't make it alright, yo."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (12k) cowbell.mp3 - The cowbell intro from Loverboy's Working for the Weekend.

  • [ Download ] (29.2k) cowboy.wav - Borat from "Da Ali G Show": "You are a cowboy? You are a cowboy!"

  • [ Download ] (56.9k) cox.wav - Matt Damon from an episode of SNL: "I'd take Cox anyday! Give me Cox all the time! I want Cox all over me!"

  • [ Download ] (30k) crack.mp3 - Whitney Houston: "Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let's get that straight, okay? I don't do crack. I don't do that. Cuz crack is whack."

  • [ Download ] (169k) crackback.mp3 - The sound of Charlie and Frank from TV's "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" cracking eachother's backs, or possibly at least two men bufuing.

  • [ Download ] (7k) crackhead.mp3 - "Could be a crackhead!"

  • [ Download ] (106k) crazy911.mp3 - A crazy woman calls 911 to ask for a ride to the mental institution.

  • [ Download ] (25k) crazyheche.wav - Ann Heche babbling during an interview with Barbara Walters. She's supposedly some "Celestia" character as she does this

  • [ Download ] (25.1k) crazystuff.wav - Allen Iverson's mom: "Girl get outta my face wit' dat crazy stuff!"

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) criminal.mp3 - Michael Jackson: "Who's the criminal? Who-who's Jack the Ripper?"

  • New! [ Download ] (57k) crissangelalive.mp3 - Criss Angel screams out as he "escapes" from a building implosion in 2008. Commentator: "Criss Angel is out and alive!"

  • New! [ Download ] (20k) crissangelscream.mp3 - Criss Angel screaming out as he "escapes" from a building implosion in 2008.

  • [ Download ] (7k) criticscaneatit.mp3 - Johnny Weir: "My critics can eat it"

  • [ Download ] (11k) crookedhillary.mp3 - Donald Trump at one of his 2016 Presidential rallies: "-crooked Hillary"

  • [ Download ] (206k) cruise1.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc (I think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Tom Cruise clips. Call #1.

  • [ Download ] (64.1k) cruise2.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc (I think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Tom Cruise clips. Call #2.

  • [ Download ] (69k) cruise3.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc (I think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Tom Cruise clips. Call #3.

  • [ Download ] (52.9k) cruise4.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc (I think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Tom Cruise clips. Call #4.

  • [ Download ] (30.3k) cruise5.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc (I think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Tom Cruise clips. Call #5.

  • [ Download ] (59.1k) cruise6.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc (I think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Tom Cruise clips. Call #6.

  • [ Download ] (92.1k) cruise7.wav - Mike Wolters and Marc (i think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Tom Cruise clips. Call #7.

  • [ Download ] (154k) cruise8.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc (I think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Tom Cruise clips. Call #8.

  • [ Download ] (267k) cruisecameron.mp3 - Forget about Stanley, Tom Cruise talks about his new love, Cameron Crowe.

  • [ Download ] (262k) cruisegay.mp3 - Tom Cruise talks to Barbara Walters about being gay.

  • [ Download ] (434.2k) cruiselove.mp3 - Tom Cruise being interviewed by Diane Sawyer about the making of the movie "Eyes Wide Shut" and his love for Stanley Kubrick.

  • [ Download ] (16k) crunk.mp3 - Some guy with a fake accent: "Aye, jolly good mate, right, yeah. This tea, is crunk"

  • [ Download ] (36k) crushopponents.mp3 - Borat from "Da Ali G Show": "He is a strong man. He will crush his opponents. He is powerful, like Stalin, and will not tolerate people who are bad."

  • [ Download ] (143k) cubs.mp3 - An old fake Cubs promo that uses clips of a pissed off Lee Elia

  • [ Download ] (19.5k) cumming.wav - Arnold Schwarzenegger talking to Oprah: "A pump is better than cumming."

  • [ Download ] (95k) cunnilingusrice.wav - Dave Chappelle: "Cunnilingus Rice! Cunnilingus Rice sounds like a Mexican dish. Maybe we should put her on a plate and send her to Mexico so the Mexicans will eat her!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (40k) customhandjob.mp3 - "This is a custom hand job."

  • [ Download ] (24.2k) cutebody.wav - Howard Cosell: "What a cute little body he has."

  • New! [ Download ] (46k) cutgrass.mp3 - Billy Bob Thornton in the movie Sling Blade: "That grass out there in the yard, it growed up quite a bit. I figured I might cut it for yew. Mmmhmm."

  • [ Download ] (183k) cuts.mp3 - Homer Simpson from "The Simpsons" making a series of cuts from the football team.

  • [ Download ] (324.7k) cutthemullet.mp3 - The Cut the Mullet song by Wesley Willis.

  • [ Download ] (4k) cya.mp3 - One of the guys saying "Cya!" in typical D&M show fashion

  • [ Download ] (10k) cya2.mp3 - I think this is the "McLovin" character from "Superbad" saying: "Ok, cya!"

  • [ Download ] (19k) daddyphone.wav - Chris Farley: "Could you get your daddy on the phone?"

  • [ Download ] (274k) dallascowboysteamvideo.mp3 - The Dallas Cowboys Team Video, directed police informants, and wide receiver Michael Irvin.

  • [ Download ] (60k) damnbody.wav - Some rebellious teen on the Jenny Jones show: "I got a sexy body and I ain't scared of nobody, I'll do whatever the hell I wanna do with my damn body."

  • [ Download ] (10.8k) damnfunny.wav - Stan Johnson: "What's so damn funny?"

  • [ Download ] (15.2k) damnit.wav - Homer Simpson: "Aw, damnit!"

  • [ Download ] (9k) damnthat.wav - Huel Perkins from WJBK reading a Kwame Kilpatrick text message: "Damn that."

  • [ Download ] (31.4k) damnugly.wav - "She think's your pretty, but uh, she pretty damn ugly you know that."

  • [ Download ] (151k) dansaball.mp3 - The classic "Belfour Blows" version of Donut Shop Terrorism.

  • [ Download ] (49k) danrather.mp3 - Making fun of Dan Rather on "Family Guy" I think

  • [ Download ] (11k) darksided.mp3 - Marguerite Perrin, a crazy lady from Fox's "Trading Spouses": "She's tampering in dark sided stuff!"

  • [ Download ] (23.9k) datelinetuesday.wav - Chief Wiggum from "The Simpsons": "Yeah yeah, save it for Dateline Tuesday."

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) dateraped.mp3 - Will Forte in MacGruber: "Hope you enjoy being date raped, ma'am."

  • [ Download ] (7k) datetwinkies.mp3 - From MTV's "Next": "I don't date twinkies"

  • [ Download ] (266k) datin.mp3 - Elvis tries to record the song "Datin'" but just can't stop laughing. (Long version of elvislaugh.wav)

  • [ Download ] (67.8k) dating.wav - The Borat character from "Da Ali G Show": "Before America woman will allow you in her virgin, you must do something called dating."

  • New! [ Download ] (216k) daughter.mp3 - *banging* "That's my daughter in there! Let her out!"

  • [ Download ] (6.4k) dave.wav - Tommy Chong: "Dave?"

  • [ Download ] (37k) davidtrumpburgerking.mp3 - New Jersey Turnpike Authority employee David Trump: "Uh, the service areas offer uh, Burger King."

  • [ Download ] (27k) davidtrumpcouldnttellyou.mp3 - New Jersey Turnpike Authority employee David Trump: "I couldn't honestly tell you."

  • [ Download ] (15k) davidtrumpmemorabilia.mp3 - New Jersey Turnpike Authority employee David Trump: "Memorabilia"

  • [ Download ] (18k) davidtrumpspeaking.mp3 - New Jersey Turnpike Authority employee David Trump: "Good morning, David Trump speaking."

  • [ Download ] (13k) davidtrumptakecare.mp3 - New Jersey Turnpike Authority employee David Trump: "Take care, have a good day."

  • [ Download ] (34k) davidtrumpthatquestion.mp3 - New Jersey Turnpike Authority employee David Trump: "That question should be referred to the New Jersey State Police."

  • [ Download ] (41k) davidtrumpturnpike.mp3 - New Jersey Turnpike Authority employee David Trump: "You know- do you have anymore questions on the turnpike?"

  • [ Download ] (223k) davidtrumpvoicemail.mp3 - New Jersey Turnpike Authority employee David Trump's outgoing voicemail message.

  • [ Download ] (34k) dday.mp3 - Fred Armisen on Saturday Night Live: "She said she hadn't gone number two in ten days but today was D-Day."

  • [ Download ] (82.5k) deadbody911.mp3 - A man calls 911 about a dead body.

  • New! [ Download ] (19k) dealmein.mp3 - Hillary Clinton during her 2016 Presidential campaign: "Deal me in!"

  • New! [ Download ] (147k) dealmeinfull.mp3 - Hillary Clinton during her 2016 Presidential campaign: "Now the other day, Mr. Trump accused me of playing the 'woman card'. Well, if fighting for women's health care and paid family leave and equal pay is playing the woman card, then deal me in!"

  • [ Download ] (30k) dealtit.wav - Ali G from "Da Ali G Show": "Is the definition, 'Whoever smelt it dealt it.'?"

  • [ Download ] (34k) deanspeech.mp3 - Part of the speech where Howard Dean went crazy

  • [ Download ] (21.1k) deanyeah.wav - Howard Dean yelling "YEAAAAAH!!!" clip from the speech above

  • [ Download ] (27k) decrodedcrap.wav - Napoleon Dynamite: "Why don't you go eat a decroded piece of crap!"

  • [ Download ] (352k) deer911.mp3 - A clip of a guy calling 911 after being attacked by his revived roadkill and then subsequently attacked by a dog. Later revealed to be a fake.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (18k) delicious.mp3 - "That sounds delicious."

  • [ Download ] (19k) democrats.mp3 - Whoever typically does the voiceover for FOX 2: "Where in the world are the democrats?"

  • [ Download ] (39k) demonic.wav - Some guy supposedly undergoing an exorcism letting out a demonic squeal

  • [ Download ] (55k) demonicmarc.wav - Marc impersonates the demonic squeal guy

  • [ Download ] (21k) demonicsneeze.wav - Some guy supposedly undergoing an exorcism is also for some reason sneezing

  • [ Download ] (74k) demonicyeah.wav - Some guy supposedly undergoing an exorcism letting out a demonic squeal and for some reason says "Yeah" at the end

  • New! [ Download ] (127k) demooftigerstadium.mp3 - A clueless member of Detroit City Council: "Has the demolition of the uh, Tiger Stadium, already began?"

  • [ Download ] (50.6k) deniromm1.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips. Call #1.

  • [ Download ] (36k) deniromm2.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips. Call #2.

  • [ Download ] (67k) deniromm3.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips. Call #3.

  • [ Download ] (46.1k) deniromm4.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips. Call #4.

  • [ Download ] (196k) deniromm5.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips. Call #5.

  • [ Download ] (169k) deniromm6.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips. Call #6.

  • [ Download ] (78.1k) deniromm7.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips. Call #7.

  • [ Download ] (132k) deniromm8.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips. Call #8.

  • [ Download ] (125k) deniroparents1.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc (I think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips from "Meet The Parents". Call #1.

  • [ Download ] (68.5k) deniroparents2.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc (I think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips from "Meet The Parents". Call #2.

  • [ Download ] (209k) deniroparents3.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc (I think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips from "Meet The Parents". Call #3.

  • [ Download ] (268k) deniroparents4.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc (I think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips from "Meet The Parents". Call #4.

  • [ Download ] (112k) deniroparents5.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc (I think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips from "Meet The Parents". Call #5.

  • [ Download ] (327k) deniroparents6.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc (I think?) try their hand at making a prank call using Robert De Niro clips from "Meet The Parents". Call #6.

  • New! [ Download ] (52k) dentaldam.mp3 - Danny McBridge in Eastbound & Down: "I got a dental dam in the glove compartment of my truck, you can just grab that."

  • [ Download ] (77.3k) designateddrivers.wav - Moe from "The Simpsons" in reference to St. Patrick's Day: "Listen up. This is the biggest drinking day of the year. Where are the designated drivers?" (Pause) "Beat it! I've got no use for cheapskates."

  • [ Download ] (33.5k) detroitbasketball.wav - Diana Lewis I think, saying Deeeeeetrrroit Bassssketball

  • [ Download ] (34k) detroitbasketball2.mp3 - A bunch of folks saying "Deeeetroit Basssketball"

  • [ Download ] (13k) detroitbasketballkid.mp3 - Some pint sized Pistons fan saying "Deeeeetroit Bassssketball"

  • [ Download ] (27k) detroitbasketballparty2.mp3 - Diana Lewis, Bob Guinney and Carmen Harlan clips combined together

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) detroithello.mp3 - Larry King: "Detroit, hello."

  • [ Download ] (27k) detroitstyle.wav - Homer Simpson: "Ah yes, Detroit-style, very nice."

  • [ Download ] (288k) devilsnight.mp3 - Detroit gangs make a pact not to burn up the city, but only on Devil's Night.

  • [ Download ] (476k) devosforgovernor.mp3 - A Drew and Mike version of a Dick DeVos for Michigan Governor campaign ad.

  • [ Download ] (43.4k) diaperguy.wav - William Chappell from the TV show "The Benefactor" crying like a baby

  • [ Download ] (35k) diaperguy2.mp3 - William Chappell from the TV show "The Benefactor" crying like a baby (longer version)

  • [ Download ] (193k) diapermontage.mp3 - A montage of diaper mentions after a psycho, diaper wearing astronaut tried to kidnap another woman

  • [ Download ] (57.5k) diapersoff.wav - Dick Vermeil: "And it's time young man, it's time to take your diapers off and go to work. You know. Maybe get an opportunity."

  • [ Download ] (2.6M) diarrheahitandrun.mp3 - Drew and Marc end up at a dead end in search of a guy with a stupid tattoo and instead meet 92 year old Persis who apparently couldn't let a jogger get in the way of a diarrhea emergency.

  • [ Download ] (18k) dicksallretarded.mp3 - From "Idiocracy": "Don't wanna sound like a dick or nothin', but you talk like a fag, and your dick's all retarded"

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) dicksucked.mp3 - Drew imitating one of his favorite Kwame Kilpatrick text messages, podcast edition: "I need my dick sucked!"

  • [ Download ] (1.8M) dickvermeil.mp3 - Drew and Mike recount various instances of Dick Vermeil breaking down and crying

  • [ Download ] (27k) didapoopie.wav - Some kid on "Nanny 911": "I did a poopie!"

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) dididogood.mp3 - From South Park: "Did I do good Daddy?"

  • [ Download ] (10.6k) digthat.wav - "Can ya dig that?"

  • [ Download ] (14k) dingy.wav - Chris Farley: "Quit playin' with your dingy."

  • [ Download ] (15k) dirtbag.wav - John Walsh from America's Most Wnated: "What a dirtbag."

  • [ Download ] (11k) dirtyslut.mp3 - From MTV's "Next": "I'm a dirty little slut but don't tell my mom"

  • [ Download ] (38.7k) dirtytramp.wav - "I'm sorry, all I heard was 'Blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp.'"

  • [ Download ] (19k) dirtywhore.mp3 - Danny DeVito from TV's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "I am proposing to that dirty whore."

  • [ Download ] (21.7k) dodgeball.wav - A dodgeball nails somebody as Drew and company react

  • [ Download ] (56.9k) dodgeball2.wav - Drew attacks with the dodgeball

  • [ Download ] (19.3k) dodgestratus.wav - Will Ferrel from SNL: "I drive a Dodge Stratus!"

  • [ Download ] (20.8k) doesntmatter.wav - The asssshole from one of the Arnold prank calls: "It doesn't matter!"

  • [ Download ] (8k) doggie.mp3 - Chris Hansen on Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator": "What positions have you tried? Do you like doggie?"

  • [ Download ] (38k) doggiestyle.wav - Robert DeNiro in "This Boy's Life": "You can get it doggiestyle or you can get it laying on your side, those are your only choices."

  • [ Download ] (66k) dogoutside.mp3 - Some bitch from the TV show "Wife Swap" goes psycho when she finds out her dogs had been left outside.

  • [ Download ] (17k) doingawesome.mp3 - Some kid cheering on his brother on TV's Who Wants to Be a Millionaire: "You're doing awesome!"

  • [ Download ] (1.0M) doinitdoggiestyle.mp3 - The Doin' it Doggy Style Looney Tune

  • [ Download ] (95.1k) done20000people.wav - A woman's unfortunate choice of words during an interview: "This, was a big opportunity and I couldn't resist it. And I've actually, I've never done 20000 people before. It's really exciting. It's really fun."

  • New! [ Download ] (20k) donebrothers.mp3 - Gina the phone sex operator: "Well, I done brothers before baby."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (24k) donefart.mp3 - From the movie Joe Dirt: *farts* "I'm done with that fart, you want that?"

  • [ Download ] (23.4k) donewithyou.wav - Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra: "The money's on the dresser baby, I'm done with you."

  • New! [ Download ] (35k) donotapprove.mp3 - "I'm Hillary Clinton and I do not approve that message."

  • [ Download ] (22k) donoteatit.wav - Huel Perkins from WJBK: "If you've got it, do not eat it"

  • [ Download ] (28.3k) donotlisten.wav - Apu from "The Simpsons": "No no no! Do not listen to that man!"

  • [ Download ] (24k) dontaccept.wav - Some kid on "Nanny 911": "I don't accept your apology!"

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) dontaskme.mp3 - An irate old man on TV's Cops: "Don't ask me."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (37k) dontcall.mp3 - "Don't call here again asshole."

  • New! [ Download ] (7k) donotevercallcasey.mp3 - Possibly child murderer Casey Anthony: "Do not ever call this number again."

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) dontflush.mp3 - Will Forte in Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!: "Don't flush those toilets! I want you to leave those logs in there for me to inspect! I want to see them. I want to see what you've done."

  • [ Download ] (10.6k) dontgothere.wav - "Don't go there wit' me."

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) dontknowaboutdrugs.mp3 - Danny McBridge in Eastbound & Down: "Don't act like you don't know about drugs when you do."

  • [ Download ] (10k) dontknowanything.mp3 - Michael Irving: "I don't know anything about anything"

  • New! [ Download ] (33k) dontmakemekill.mp3 - Steve Little in Eastbound & Down: "Don't make me kill somebody!"

  • New! [ Download ] (230k) dontmess.mp3 - A bagel starts hitting the touchtones on her phone and Drew unloads on her: *blasts the megaphone* "Don't mess with me bagel!"

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) dontneedtopracticerandy.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in the movie Sling Blade: "We don't need to fucking practice Randy."

  • [ Download ] (12k) dontwearthat.mp3 - Christian Bale in the movie "American Psycho": "Don't wear that outfit again."

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) dontyousay.mp3 - Billy Bob Thornton in the movie Sling Blade: "Don't you say another word to me."

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) doorknob.mp3 - Jonah Falcon proceeds to gross everyone out: "I could uh, envelop the entire doorknob in my foreskin."

  • [ Download ] (31k) dorklaugh.mp3 - Matt Marcotte, a dorky "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" contestant laughing.

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) doublefart.mp3 - A double fart.

  • [ Download ] (36k) downgoesfrazier.mp3 - Audio of Kelsey Grammer taking a tumble off a stage, with a twist.

  • [ Download ] (61.5k) downthroat.wav - "I proceeded to open my mouth, and shove all 15 inches down my throat."

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) dramaticthings.mp3 - Sportscaster Suzy "Suzyn" Waldman: "Of all the dramatic things I've ever seen!"

  • [ Download ] (11k) drankalot.wav - "You drank alot"

  • [ Download ] (15k) drawnoutfart.mp3 - Just like it sounds, someone straining out a drawn out fart

  • New! [ Download ] (393k) dreamcametrue.mp3 - Mike Schmidt breaks down as he retires from Major League Baseball: "Some eighteen years ago I left Dayton Ohio with two very bad knees... and a dream to become a major league baseball player. I thank God that dream came true."

  • New! [ Download ] (55k) dreamcametrue2.mp3 - Mike Schmidt breaks down as he retires from Major League Baseball: "I thank God that dream came true."

  • New! [ Download ] (68k) dreamingallday.mp3 - FOX 2's Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "I've been dreaming all day about you all to myself for three days"

  • [ Download ] (619k) dreamweaver.mp3 - A portion of Gary Wright's Dream Weaver that may be played when one may be spacing out and losing interest in what another person is saying.

  • [ Download ] (30k) drelvis.wav - Elvis Presley: "When he gets out of the hospital, he's still gonna need a speech therapist."

  • [ Download ] (20.3k) drelvis2.wav - Elvis Presley: "Just have a seat in the waiting room and I'll be with you in a minute."

  • [ Download ] (27k) drelvis3.wav - Elvis Presley: "Put two drops in your eye every four hours."

  • [ Download ] (41k) drelvis4.wav - Elvis Presley: "Look, I've got patients stacked up out there like jet planes over an international airport."

  • New! [ Download ] (3.2M) drewandgethard.mp3 - Drew imagines someone being tased until they "Get hard!"

  • New! [ Download ] (10.1M) drewandmikemeetgina.mp3 - Drew and Mike call a phone sex line for men who have small penises and like to be humiliated. They pose as brothers "Buzz" and "Jarvis" and end up meeting the infamous Gina.

  • [ Download ] (111k) drewblows.wav - Drew and Mike fans chanting "Drew blows!" at a Lions tailgate when Drew failed to make his scheduled appearance

  • [ Download ] (48k) drewcasino.mp3 - Drew leaves a voicemail after going on a winning streak at a casino

  • [ Download ] (111k) drewchauncey.mp3 - One listener thinks Drew addresses Chauncey Billups in a certain way since he's black. Drew responds and takes it to an extreme.

  • [ Download ] (74k) drewcubs.mp3 - With the Chicago Cubs five outs away from heading to the 2003 MLB World Series, Drew calls to get his time off request in ASAP since he has a ticket to one of the upcoming games.

  • [ Download ] (31.7k) drewestreet.wav - Drew in his retarded guy voice: "Bruce Springsteen and the E-Street Band!"

  • [ Download ] (6.7k) drewfake.wav - Drew: "FAKE!"

  • [ Download ] (9.9k) drewfeces.wav - Drew saying "feces"

  • [ Download ] (61k) drewgolf.mp3 - Drew hits a golf shot, and from the sound of it, hits a woman on the course

  • [ Download ] (20.5k) drewinternet.wav - Drew Lane: "Anybody knows there's no rules for the internet."

  • [ Download ] (82k) drewsickmsg.mp3 - Drew leaves a message to Wolters claiming that he's too sick to come into work.

  • [ Download ] (41k) drewwheresdrew.mp3 - From TV's Broad City: "Drew? Guys, where is Drew? Drew?"

  • [ Download ] (13k) drivebike.mp3 - From "The 40 Year Old Virgin": "Ok Mr. Schwinn f---ing Armstrong, who asked you to drive a bike?"

  • [ Download ] (15k) dropthematter.wav - Clyde Tombaugh, he discovered the planet Pluto: "Why don't you drop the matter."

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) drphil.mp3 - Oprah Winfrey: "Dr. Phil!!!"

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) drphilanythingwrong.mp3 - Dr. Phil: "I don't think there's anything wrong with that."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (189k) drunkharrison.mp3 - A possibly drunk Harrison Ford tries to give away a Golden Globe.

  • [ Download ] (49k) drunklistener.wav - A small portion of a drunken listener's message left on the WRIF voicemail

  • [ Download ] (253k) drunknamath.mp3 - Joe Namath gets interviewed on the sidelines during a Jets game while drunk.

  • [ Download ] (48.5k) drunktalk.wav - Frequently played clip whenever the conversation turns to drunkeness and alcohol in general of what sounds like some drunk guy trying to talk.

  • [ Download ] (101k) duckjob.mp3 - Now famous Net clip, Donald Duck receiving some oral services.

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) duhyeah.mp3 - Danny DeVito in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "Duh yeah."

  • [ Download ] (94.4k) dumbblackoutquestion.wav - A reporter asking what sounds like a very dumb question to be asking during a blackout.

  • [ Download ] (46k) dumbest.mp3 - The principal in "Billy Madison": "What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room, is now dumber for having listened to it."

  • [ Download ] (27k) dumpinbed.wav - Napoleon Dynamite: "Hey Don, did you take a dump in your bed last night?"

 
 

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