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Drew and Mike

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A - D, E - M, T - Z
 

Use the filter to find particular sound clips. If the audio isn't on this page, try one of the others. If you still can't find it, send me a request.


  • [ Download ] (95k) naacpguylovemydick.mp3 - A NAACP member wants everyone to know how much people love his dick. Either that or NFL player Mike Vick.

  • [ Download ] (8k) nakeddude.mp3 - "Cool! I hope it's a naked dude with a boner"

  • [ Download ] (7k) nakedstrangewhore.mp3 - From Family Guy: "Get naked you strange whore"

  • [ Download ] (26.5k) namecontroversy.wav - "Well there's some controversy as to how you pronounce his name."

  • [ Download ] (5.9k) narc.wav - Homer Simpson: "Narc"

  • [ Download ] (262k) nascardads.mp3 - A political ad to try and attract so called "Nascar Dads" to vote for George Bush.

  • [ Download ] (86.8k) nascarwine.wav - An uncle of the bachelorettes vying for the attention of, The Bachelor, back in Season 2: "If you ever get involved in NASCAR, it's like, tasting a fine wine. Once you taste a fine wine, you don't want the three dollar stuff."

  • [ Download ] (19.5k) nasty.wav - "Oooooooo, nasty."

  • [ Download ] (409k) nationalanthemdisasters.mp3 - Drew and Mike play various disastrous attempts at singing the U.S. national anthem

  • [ Download ] (231k) nationallooters.mp3 - Ad for "National Looters Academy"

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) nativeamerican.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "I think she's as Native American as I am."

  • [ Download ] (15k) neat.mp3 - Peter Griffin from "Family Guy": "Oh yeah, that's uh, that's... that's neat. Um, is there going to be any nudity?"

  • New! [ Download ] (1.5M) negotiations.mp3 - From a K-Swiss ad, Kenny Powers negotiates an endorsement deal

  • [ Download ] (16.3k) newd.wav - John, a Scottish listener: "The man is newwwwwwd!"

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) newengerizeroi.mp3 - The tail end of a commercial involving Mark "Jacko" Jackson, a former Australian footballer that for some reason was part of an Energizer campaign: "New Energizer! Oi!"

  • [ Download ] (28.2k) newjackend.mp3 - A new ending to the San Francisco Jacks information line answering machine message: "So come on down, and join the San Francisco Jacks. An evening of poetry in motion. Where you too, may see, or even get your hands on, the thing itself."

  • [ Download ] (8k) newmoviestuff.mp3 - Britney Spears: "That's like a new movie and stuff"

  • [ Download ] (17.1k) neverheardofem.wav - Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra on SNL?: "Never heard of 'em, next!"

  • [ Download ] (246k) newjacks.mp3 - The 2004 version of the San Francisco Jacks outgoing voicemail message

  • [ Download ] (154k) new3scompany.mp3 - The reworked theme song for "Three's Company" after the death of John Ritter.

  • [ Download ] (48.6k) newsletter.wav - Homer from "The Simpsons": "Hmmm, you idea's intriguing to me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter."

  • [ Download ] (6.0k) next.wav - "Next!"

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) next2.mp3 - Mr. Burns from The Simpsons: "Next!"

  • [ Download ] (22k) nextcaller.wav - Peter Marolis, some random guy who went around pretending to be Constantine from "American Idol"'s cousin: "Hey, I know where this is going, next caller"

  • [ Download ] (12k) nice.mp3 - From TV's "South Park": "Nice!"

  • [ Download ] (10k) nice2.mp3 - From TV's "South Park", the second variation of: "Nice!"

  • [ Download ] (889k) niceboobs.mp3 - The frequently played Looney Tune, "Nice Boobs"

  • [ Download ] (87k) nicebush.wav - A couple of women that end up saying "Nice bush"

  • [ Download ] (8k) nicecomeback.mp3 - "Nice come back!"

  • New! [ Download ] (103k) niceface.mp3 - Will Arnett in The Brothers Solomon: "You have got a nice face. It sure makes up that body."

  • New! [ Download ] (38k) nicelittleguy.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Looks like a nice little guy actually."

  • [ Download ] (6k) nicepackage.mp3 - Some sportscaster: "Well, he's got a nice package"

  • [ Download ] (21k) nicepenis.wav - "By the way, nice penis."

  • [ Download ] (15k) niceshit.wav - Adam Sandler: "Here's a nice piece of shit!"

  • [ Download ] (103k) nicole911.mp3 - Nicole Simpson calls 911 when O.J. Simpson comes back

  • [ Download ] (26k) nicole9112.mp3 - Nicole Simpson calls 911 about O.J. Simpson a second time

  • [ Download ] (48k) nigger.mp3 - In a first, during a 2005 Harris poll, some woman calls Drew a "nigger"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (23k) nikitaassfingers.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I want you to put your fingers inside my a--."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (20k) nikitabigboobs.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Look at these big boobs."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (12k) nikitaboobies.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "You like my boobies?"

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) nikitacomeon.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Oh, come on baby!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (12k) nikitacute.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "You are kind of cute."

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) nikitaczech.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I'm from Czech Republic."

  • New! [ Download ] (66k) nikitadeniseintro.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: Nikita Denise being introduced to her fans.

  • New! [ Download ] (7k) nikitadidyoulikeit.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Did you like it?"

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) nikitadocuments.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "You need to fill out these documents."

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) nikitadocuments2.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "You need to fill out these documents and it's going to take five to six days."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (18k) nikitadoforliving.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "So, what do you do for livink?"

  • New! [ Download ] (36k) nikitadofour.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "-want two. You want three? Let's do four. Ah yeah."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (19k) nikitadoingporn.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I am thinking about doing porn."

  • New! [ Download ] (45k) nikitadressworth.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Do you know how much is this dress worth?"

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) nikitaeatit.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Probably, most of the time, I eat it."

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) nikitaexpecting.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Have a seat, I've been expecting you."

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) nikitafeelsnice.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Ahh, that feels nice."

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) nikitafavoritethink.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "It's my favorite think."

  • [ Download ] (22.1k) nikita-frombehind.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I want you to fu-- me from behind."

  • [ Download ] (13k) nikita-fuckboobs.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Fu-- my boobs"

  • [ Download ] (9k) nikita-fuckher.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "You can't f--k her, only I get to do that"

  • [ Download ] (7k) nikita-fun.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I can tell this is going to be fun"

  • [ Download ] (6k) nikita-getoverhere.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Here is how to get over here"

  • [ Download ] (7k) nikita-givelapdance.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "You want me to give you lapdance?"

  • [ Download ] (11k) nikita-great.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Great!"

  • [ Download ] (17.2k) nikita-hardcock.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Your co-- is SO hard."

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) nikitahaveinyourmind.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Like, what do you in your mind?"

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) nikitahewasblack.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "And he was black."

  • New! [ Download ] (5k) nikitahowareyoudoing.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "How are you doing?"

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) nikitaindustry.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I'm in this industry since January 2000."

  • [ Download ] (6k) nikita-interestingk.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Mmmmm, interesting-k"

  • [ Download ] (1.7Mk) nikita-interview.mp3 - Drew and Mike use a feature on Nikita Denise's interactive porn DVD to conduct an "interview" with her

  • [ Download ] (6k) nikita-kelly.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "This is Kelly"

  • [ Download ] (14.9k) nikita-likeass.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Do you like my ass?"

  • [ Download ] (8k) nikita-likegirlfriend.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I think you are going to like my girlfriend"

  • [ Download ] (20k) nikita-likethat.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Ahhh, you like that?"

  • [ Download ] (11k) nikita-longlegs.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "How do you like your legs? Nice and long-k"

  • [ Download ] (3k) nikita-mmmhmmm.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Mmmhmmm"

  • [ Download ] (7k) nikita-neck.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Look at that beautiful neck"

  • [ Download ] (32.3k) nikita-neverforget.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I'll give you a lapdance you will never forget."

  • [ Download ] (6k) nikita-nice.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Ah, that feels nice"

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) nikitanicebody.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "He is very nice. Very sexy. Very nice body."

  • [ Download ] (7k) nikita-niceplace.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Hmm, that's a nice place"

  • [ Download ] (8k) nikita-nikita.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Hi, I'm Nikita"

  • [ Download ] (6k) nikita-nono.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Noooo no no"

  • New! [ Download ] (26k) nikitanotthesame.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Since you got back from that mysterious retreat you are not the same."

  • [ Download ] (4k) nikita-ooolala.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Ooooo la la"

  • [ Download ] (29k) nikita-panties.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I'm gonna take her panties off"

  • [ Download ] (18k) nikita-party.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I'm here with this really cute guy and we both want you to come over and party with us"

  • [ Download ] (2.7M) nikitaprankcall.mp3 - Drew and Mike call up a Comfort Inn where guys would pose in front of their hotel room window and it ended up mostly being prank calls using Nikita Denise drops.

  • New! [ Download ] (28k) nikitareallygood.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I worked with him before so I know he's really goot."

  • [ Download ] (27.3k) nikita-sign.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD sighing.

  • [ Download ] (49.7k) nikita-slapass.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "You want me to slap my ass little bit? *slap slap*"

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) nikitaspankass.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Spank my ass. Anytime baby. Go ahead."

  • [ Download ] (9k) nikita-spankboobies.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I want you to spank my boobies."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (30k) nikitaspankhole.mp3 - Porn star Nikita Denise: "And I will spank my butthole a little bit."

  • [ Download ] (25.8k) nikita-suckballs.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I wanna suck your ba--s." *slurp*

  • [ Download ] (23.1k) nikita-suckhard.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Suck it hard!"

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) nikitatalktome.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "You wanna talk to me a little bit?"

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) nikitatastegood.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "Mmmm, taste good."

  • New! [ Download ] (27k) nikitatasteit.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "I like to put it in my mouth and taste it."

  • [ Download ] (36k) nikita-tellme.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Just tell me what you want and I'll do anything"

  • [ Download ] (27k) nikitatennis.mp3 - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "I like play tennis but I am no good in it."

  • [ Download ] (29k) nikita-panties.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "How does it feel to have two tongues around your --ck?"

  • [ Download ] (23.3k) nikita-touchbody.wav - Nikita Denise in an interactive porn DVD: "Touching my body."

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) nikitaunbelievable.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "It feels unbelievable good."

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) nikitawhatwrong.mp3 - Pornstar Nikita Denise: "What is wrong with you?"

  • [ Download ] (31k) ninjamoves.wav - Napoleon Dynamite: "Who's the only one here who knows illegal ninja moves from the government?"

  • [ Download ] (10.6k) noahah.wav - Drew: "No ah ah"

  • [ Download ] (13k) nobackdoorteen.mp3 - Farrah Abraham from her porn video "Backdoor Teen Mom" saying: "No!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (18k) nobodyunderstands.mp3 - Donald Trump: "Nobody understands it."

  • [ Download ] (23.9k) nodiggity.wav - From "Da Ali G Show": "No diggity, check it!"

  • [ Download ] (16.9k) nofatchicks.wav - Homer Simpson: "No fat chicks"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (24k) noidea.mp3 - Roland Winkler on the Leif Garrett episode of Behind the Music: "I have no idea."

  • [ Download ] (108k) nokiawhore.mp3 - A Nokia contest during the 2002 Sugar Bowl where there is no shortage of whoring for Nokia

  • [ Download ] (6.6k) nolifeforce.wav - What sounds like a dead body hitting the floor

  • [ Download ] (344k) nomahaffey.mp3 - Ad to make sure Detroit residents didn't vote for MaryAnn Mahaffey after she stated that she would not be running for a seat on the Detroit City Council again due to medical problems

  • New! [ Download ] (330k) nonsequituramericanpharoh.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: American Pharoah

  • New! [ Download ] (104k) nonsequiturarod.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: A-Rod

  • New! [ Download ] (307k) nonsequiturbatmansticker.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Batman Sticker

  • New! [ Download ] (304k) nonsequiturburgerkingorder.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Burger King Order

  • New! [ Download ] (294k) nonsequiturcartoons.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Cartoons

  • New! [ Download ] (176k) nonsequiturdairyqueen.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Dairy Queen

  • New! [ Download ] (333k) nonsequiturderbypool.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Derby Pool

  • New! [ Download ] (216k) nonsequiturflipwilson.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Flip Wilson

  • New! [ Download ] (259k) nonsequiturfridgeclean.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Fridge Clean Out Day

  • New! [ Download ] (343k) nonsequiturgreathat.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Great Hat!

  • New! [ Download ] (249k) nonsequiturlemondrops.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Lemondrops

  • New! [ Download ] (208k) nonsequituroriolesighting.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Oriole Sighting!

  • New! [ Download ] (251k) nonsequiturtracilords.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Traci Lords

  • New! [ Download ] (329k) nonsequiturtradetalk.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Trade Talk

  • New! [ Download ] (278k) nonsequiturvarsitygirls.mp3 - Tom Mazawey, the Human Non Sequitur: Varsity Girls

  • [ Download ] (63.5k) norippling.wav - Drew: "There are no rippling muscles in the room either, none"

  • [ Download ] (37k) normlaugh.mp3 - Norm Macdonald as "Death" on "Family Guy" laughing

  • [ Download ] (28k) nosubstance.wav - Ira Einhorn, the Unicorn Killer: "That's a rumor that has absolutely no substance."

  • [ Download ] (9k) notachristian.mp3 - Marguerite Perrin, the psycho from "Trading Spouses": "She's not a chritian! "

  • New! [ Download ] (30k) notagainstlaw.mp3 - FOX2's Charlie Langton: "It's not against the law to have sex."

  • [ Download ] (32k) notattractive.mp3 - Adam Sandler: "I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. Ah you're, very good looking. I'm not attractive."

  • [ Download ] (10k) notaracist.mp3 - Michael Richards: "I'm not a racist, that's what's so insane about this"

  • New! [ Download ] (58k) notdoinganything.mp3 - Rachel Reilly on Big Brother: "She just thinks she's so cool, but she's not doing anything!"

  • [ Download ] (60k) notgay.wav - "I'm not bi, and I'm not gay. If you are going to speak on that subject, you can take a hike."

  • New! [ Download ] (166k) nothitbirds.mp3 - Matt Damon on 30 Rock: "You know what a great pilot would have done? Not hit the birds. That's what I do every day. Not hit birds. Where's my ticket to the Grammys?"

  • [ Download ] (41k) notintended.wav - Mike Clark: "This uh, messsage uhm, not intended for air by the way."

  • New! [ Download ] (60k) notmyfirstchoice.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Believe me, she would not be my first choice. That I can tell you."

  • [ Download ] (10.3k) notmyjob.wav - "It's not my job."

  • [ Download ] (47.8k) notsick.wav - Peter Huffman: "You're not sick you dumb sof of a bitch."

  • [ Download ] (23k) nowgetoutthere.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in the movie Sling Blade: "Now get out there and git yer shit and get out."

  • [ Download ] (9.6k) nude.wav - Mike Clark demonstrating the correct way to pronounce "Nude".

  • [ Download ] (36) nudewoman.wav - Homer Simpson: "Why would I want to look at a nude woman I'm not even married to"

  • [ Download ] (9k) nudiemagazine.mp3 - "It's nudie magazine day!"

  • [ Download ] (39k) nuisance.wav - Peter Haskett: "I want him declared a nuisance. I want him taken away for the night."

  • [ Download ] (13k) numbnuts.mp3 - Will Arnett: "Hey numbnuts, is that you?"

  • [ Download ] (13k) nutbreath.mp3 - Will Arnett: "Hey nutbreath, how's it going?"

  • [ Download ] (29k) nutsackinsured.mp3 - From "Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo": "His nut- is insured for a million dollars."

  • "That's 500 grand each."

  • [ Download ] (14k) obamabestpresident.mp3 - Barack Obama imitating NFL player Richard Sherman: - "I'm the best president in the game!"

  • [ Download ] (16k) obamacomplicated.mp3 - Barack Obama reading from "Dreams from My Father": "Shit's getting way too complicated for me."

  • [ Download ] (17k) obamadontyouever.mp3 - Barack Obama imitating NFL player Richard Sherman: - "Don't you ever talk about me like that!"

  • [ Download ] (21k) obamafries.mp3 - Barack Obama reading from "Dreams from My Father": "You ain't my bitch nigger, buy your own damn fries."

  • [ Download ] (11k) obamaiagree.mp3 - Barack Obama: "I agree!"

  • [ Download ] (13k) obamanumber.mp3 - Barack Obama reading from "Dreams from My Father": "Sure you can have my number, baby."

  • [ Download ] (73k) obamaparty.mp3 - Barack Obama reading from "Dreams from My Father": "So what happens when we go out to a party with some sisters, huh? What happens? I tell you what happens. BLAM! They on us like there's no tomorrow. High school chicks, university chicks- it don't matter."

  • [ Download ] (163k) obamaphone.mp3 - A raspy voiced Clevelander extolling Barack Obama and his so called Obamaphone.

  • [ Download ] (36k) obamathatguy.mp3 - Barack Obama reading from "Dreams from My Father": "Now you know that guy ain't shit. Sorry-assed motherfucker got nothing on me, right? Nothing."

  • [ Download ] (23k) obamawhitefolks.mp3 - Barack Obama reading from "Dreams from My Father": "There are white folks, and then there are ignorant motherfuckers like you."

  • [ Download ] (831k) oct9thcoffeespill.mp3 - Drew's October 9th, 2006 coffee spill

  • [ Download ] (75k) oface.wav - From "Office Space": "If things go well I might be showing her my Oh face. Oh! Oh! Oh! You know what I'm talkin' about. Oh!"

  • [ Download ] (112k) offdumbass.mp3 - A caller leaves a voicemail to Marc simply saying: "Hey you're off the air dumbass"

  • [ Download ] (37k) officialboner.wav - Will Ferrell in "Blades of Glory": "You an official here? 'Cause you have officially given me a boner."

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) ohifeelyou.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "Oh, I feel you."

  • [ Download ] (12k) ohmygodlohan.mp3 - Lindsay Lohan saying, "Oh my God!".

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) ohmygodlouie.mp3 - Louie Anderson on TV's Splash: "Oh my God!"

  • [ Download ] (18k) ohmygodnoway.mp3 - From TV's South Park: "Oh my God no waaaaay."

  • [ Download ] (15k) ohmygodwhocares.mp3 - Will Arnett in the movie Hot Rod: "Oh my God, who cares?"

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) ohsure.mp3 - An irate old man on TV's Cops: "Oh sure."

  • New! [ Download ] (69k) ohwouldyoulookatthis.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Oh would you look at this? Oh my goodness, what is it?"

  • New! [ Download ] (41k) ohwouldyoulookatthis2.mp3 - Ed Bassmaster: "Oh would you look at this?"

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) ohyes.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Oooooh yes!"

  • New! [ Download ] (5k) oijacko.mp3 - Mark "Jacko" Jackson, a former Australian footballer that for some reason was part of an Energizer commercial campaign: "Oi!"

  • [ Download ] (157k) oj911.mp3 - O.J. Simpson calls 911 after his attempts to get a girl to go to rehab fail.

  • [ Download ] (230k) oj911basement.mp3 - The O.J. 911 Basement Tapes

  • [ Download ] (56k) ojdna.mp3 - A funny clip from the O.J. Simpson T.V. movie where O.J. is in a tele-conference with his lawyers regarding the DNA evidence results.

  • [ Download ] (22.2k) ojfriggin.wav - O.J. Simpson: "Stop friggin' following me."

  • [ Download ] (19.9k) ojguilty.wav - O.J. Simpson: "I'm 100% guilty"

  • [ Download ] (35.5k) ojjeans.mp3 - A longer version of getather.wav from the O.J. Simpson T.V. movie.

  • [ Download ] (20k) ojhelpyou.wav - O.J. Simpson from his roadrage trial: "Uh, ya man, what's going on? Can I help you?"

  • [ Download ] (28.2k) ojmessage.mp3 - O.J. Simpson's outgoing answering machine message: "Hello, it's yours truly. Unfortunately, I'm unavailable. Leave me a name and a message and a numBERRR, and I'll get back to you. Adios!"

  • [ Download ] (243k) ojouttakes2.mp3 - O.J.: The Interview Outtakes, Part 2

  • [ Download ] (13.5k) ojrehab.wav - From an O.J. Simpson 911 call: "You're going into a rehab."

  • [ Download ] (142k) ojtape.mp3 - O.J. Simpson makes an audio tape

  • [ Download ] (411k) ojwesleywillis.mp3 - The O.J. Simpson song by Wesley Willis.

  • [ Download ] (8.6k) ojwhitegirl.wav - From an O.J. Simpson 911 call: "She's a white girl."

  • [ Download ] (8k) ok.wav - Mrs. Jazzerzab: "Ok"

  • New! [ Download ] (14k) okcheckplease.mp3 - The TMZ voice over guy: "OK, check please!"

  • [ Download ] (13.5k) okmrwolters.wav - From an answering machine message the San Francisco Jacks guy left: "Okay Mr. Wolters?"

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) okseconddown.mp3 - Sportscaster Brent Musburger: "Ok? Second down and nine!"

  • [ Download ] (20k) oldbagtitties.wav - "Old bag with old bag titties"

  • [ Download ] (33.6k) oldclothes.wav - Jimmy Kimmel: "Hey old people, keep your clothes on, it's disgusting!"

  • [ Download ] (14k) oldguy.mp3 - Chris Hansen on "Dateline NBC": "So you want this old guy doing you in your house, on your bed, or whereever?"

  • [ Download ] (651k) oldman.mp3 - Drew impersonates Neil Young as he sings Oldman.

  • [ Download ] (7k) oldmancreep.mp3 - "You're creeping me out old man"

  • [ Download ] (28k) oldschool.mp3 - Some excited baseball players swear during a postgame interview.

  • [ Download ] (281k) olympicgayperview.mp3 - Gay Per View: Olympic Edition

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (71k) onepieceoface.mp3 - Chris Farley in Billy Madison: "That is one piece of ace!"

  • [ Download ] (32k) onlygettingstarted.wav - Former Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm: "We're only getting started my friends!"

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) ooh.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Oh!"

  • [ Download ] (13k) oohmy.mp3 - George Takei, aka Mr. Sulu: "Ooooh my!"

  • [ Download ] (9k) ooofantastic.mp3 - Some flamer from MTV's "Next": "Ooooo, fantastic!"

  • [ Download ] (20k) ooojsimpson.wav - O.J. Simpson at his roadrage trial: "Ooooooohhh J. Simpson"

  • New! [ Download ] (45k) oooyeah.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Oooooo yeah!"

  • [ Download ] (9.8k) oooo.wav - Mike Babone?: "Ooooooo!"

  • New! [ Download ] (48k) oooodavidlee.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "OOooOoOoooOO!"

  • New! [ Download ] (24k) oooodavidlee2.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Ohhhhhhh!"

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) oooodavidlee3.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Whooooa!"

  • [ Download ] (770k) openmic.mp3 - An open microphone during a commercial break and a commercial that fails to automatically play leads listeners to hear one of the most boring conversations ever that involves amazingly no swearing.

  • New! [ Download ] (36k) openyourlegs.mp3 - Donald Sterling, former owner of the Los Angeles Clippers: "Who cares what color your skin is? Open your legs."

  • [ Download ] (15.7k) opinion.wav - Charlie Sheen?: "I don't recall asking your opinion."

  • [ Download ] (21k) oprahbitchagespots.mp3 - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "I made him get some age spots removed on his face."

  • [ Download ] (55.7k) oprahbitchfork.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "I want you to stop holding your fork like that. Why are you 40 years old and you hold your fork like this?"

  • [ Download ] (60.5k) - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "I couldn't believe that at his age, he is around in public with his hair parted down the middle."

  • [ Download ] (11k) oprahbitchkiss.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "Why don't you kiss me?"

  • [ Download ] (56k) oprahbitchsept11.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "September 11th, major fight because John left the table early."

  • [ Download ] (50.7k) oprahbitchsoda.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "You've had enough, give me that. You have had enough soda today, don't start fighting with me!"

  • [ Download ] (14.8k) oprahbitchturnoff.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "Turn off the water."

  • [ Download ] (38k) oprahbitchwater.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "Nooooo! You've had your limit today, you drink water."

  • [ Download ] (34.6k) oprahbitchwipe.wav - Some bitch that was featured on Oprah: "How are you gonna wipe a table with this little- it's not even wet!"

  • [ Download ] (12k) oprahgay.mp3 - Mark Steines and Mary Hart on Entertainment Tonight: "Alright Mary, so we got this straight, Oprah and Gail?"
    (both of them together) "GAY!"

  • [ Download ] (17k) oprahinbuilding.mp3 - Oprah Winfrey, referring to Tom Cruise: "He's in the building!"

  • [ Download ] (17k) oprahtomcruise.mp3 - Oprah Winfrey: "Please welcome, Tom Cruuuuuise!"

  • [ Download ] (16k) oprahyoutube.wav - Oprah Winfrey yelling "YOUTUBE!"

  • [ Download ] (399k) orsonwelles.mp3 - Orson Welles makes doing a voiceover unnecessarily difficult.

  • [ Download ] (20.7k) ouchbloody.wav - "Ouch, bloody!"

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) outoutout.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Out! Out! Out!"

  • [ Download ] (215k) outro.mp3 - The outro played at the end of every live Drew and Mike show (current up to Aug 2006), includes the "Gratuitous Rock Star Thank You"

  • [ Download ] (22.7k) outrageous.wav - Lionel Richie: "Outrageous!"

  • [ Download ] (101k) outsourcing.mp3 - A short clip from "The Simpsons" promoting "the best kind of sourcing, outsourcing!"

  • [ Download ] (109k) pacinobarrel1.mp3 - A prank call to Cracker Barrel using Al Pacino clips.

  • [ Download ] (231k) pacinobarrel2.mp3 - Another prank call to Cracker Barrel using Al Pacino clips.

  • [ Download ] (215k) pacinocardealer.mp3 - A prank call to a car dealer using Al Pacino clips.

  • [ Download ] (340k) pacinofurniture.mp3 - A prank call to Stuckey's Furniture using Al Pacino clips.

  • [ Download ] (307k) pacinolimoguy.mp3 - A prank call to the limo guy using Al Pacino clips.

  • [ Download ] (238k) pacinostuckeybros.mp3 - A prank call to Stuckey Brothers using Al Pacino clips.

  • [ Download ] (23k) paidtaxes.mp3 - Homer Simpson from TV's The Simpsons: "I paid my taxes over a year ago."

  • [ Download ] (47k) painful.wav - Anna Nicole Smith: "Whoa. Why would they do that? Don't they think that's kinda painful?"

  • [ Download ] (37k) paintjob.wav - "I don't want no more kids but I'll give you a paintjob."

  • [ Download ] (41k) pairjugs.wav - Rodney Dangerfield: "The last time I saw a pair of jugs that big, two hillbillies were blowin' on 'em."

  • [ Download ] (12k) paltrow.wav - Gwenyth Paltrow at the Oscars: "Bruce Paltrow"

  • [ Download ] (46.1k) pantiesdown.wav - Mike Clark playing the part of some dirty old man as he re-enacts an incident at a strip club that he witnessed long ago: "I tell you what, you take them panties down you're gonna bring this whole house down."

  • [ Download ] (34k) paradisedrewmike.mp3 - Mark Thompson, the voice of "Paradise Hotel", makes a promo for Drew and Mike

  • [ Download ] (99k) paradisedrewmike2.wav - The second promo by Mark Thompson for Drew and Mike

  • [ Download ] (37k) paradisedrewmike3.mp3 - The third promo by Mark Thompson for Drew and Mike

  • [ Download ] (32k) paradisedrewmike4.mp3 - The fourth promo by Mark Thompson for Drew and Mike

  • [ Download ] (36k) paradisedrewmike5.mp3 - The fifth promo by Mark Thompson for Drew and Mike

  • [ Download ] (53k) parchment.wav - Mr. Burns on "The Simpsons": "It's not important how old you are on parchment, it's how old you feel in the humers"

  • [ Download ] (28k) partyanimal.wav - "You says you're a party animal, you look like an animal"

  • [ Download ] (69.3k) parisjacks.mp3 - A segment of the recording as heard when calling the information line for the Paris Jacks.

  • [ Download ] (101k) parksfuneralpreacher.mp3 - Preacher during the Rosa Parks funeral saying "Thank You" in a bunch of different languages

  • [ Download ] (27.2k) partoffamily.wav - From a radio promo for Harper's show that Drew did not like at all: "It's I've become part of their family and they're part of my family."

  • [ Download ] (1.2M) patobrien.mp3 - Drew and Mike listen to the infamous Pat O'Brien sex voicemails

  • [ Download ] (59k) paulafart.wav - Paula Abdul: "Hi, this is Paula Abdul. (fart sound) (she stutters) Sorry... And I just farted really loud"

  • [ Download ] (31k) paulahigh.mp3 - Paula Abdul on "American Idol" sounding rather out of it

  • [ Download ] (26k) paythefiddler.wav - Chris Farley: "Time to pay the fiddler whore!"

  • [ Download ] (23k) peedinthis.mp3 - Clip from "Nanny 911" about some kid peeing in something

  • [ Download ] (12.1M) pendergast.mp3 - Drew and Mike attempt to locate a bumbling pilot named John Prendergast who got lost and caused havoc over JFK airport while flying in his home-built plane.

  • [ Download ] (13k) penishard.mp3 - Some sports figure, I forget who exactly: "He basically told me either keep my penis hard or he was gonna beat me"

  • [ Download ] (30k) penishardnomatter.mp3 - Bill Hader on Saturday Night Live: "He's saying he can't get his penis hard no matter how much he tries."

  • [ Download ] (41.4k) penisinside.wav - Drew caught uttering a rather unfortunate phrase: "I just didn't feel I was worth anything unless there was a penis inside me."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (247k) penisparty.mp3 - The penis party chant from the movie PCU, looped: "This penis party has got to go. Hey hey, ho ho."

  • [ Download ] (38k) penissoft.wav - From Chappelle's Show: "That crazy dancin' making my penis soft."

  • [ Download ] (37.9k) perfectforthenight.wav - From the Budweiser Best Man commercial: "She's not Miss Perfect, she's Miss Perfect for the night!"

  • [ Download ] (422.4k) pesciarnoldsamallinone.mp3 - A prank call to some clueless guy where the caller uses Joe Pesci, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Samuel L. Jackson clips.

  • [ Download ] (107k) pescidiscount.mp3 - A prank call to Discount Tire Company using Joe Pesci clips.

  • [ Download ] (101k) pesciflustered.mp3 - A prank call to an easily flustered guy using Joe Pesci clips.

  • [ Download ] (77k) pescigirl.mp3 - A prank call to some flustered girl using Joe Pesci clips

  • [ Download ] (209k) pescimoney.mp3 - A prank call using Joe Pesci clips and he wants his money back badly.

  • [ Download ] (144k) pescisomeguy.mp3 - A prank call to some guy using Joe Pesci clips.

  • [ Download ] (213k) pescisuntires.mp3 - A prank call to Sun Tires using Joe Pesci clips.

  • [ Download ] (25k) packbags.wav - Peter Marolis, some random guy who went around pretending to Constantine from "American Idol"'s cousin: "Oh, he's gone. Pack your bags buddy"

  • [ Download ] (56.2k) peterspasm.wav - Peter Haskett just spasming in general.

  • [ Download ] (148k) phasedjacks.mp3 - Two different recordings from the San Francisco Jacks information line in phased action.

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) philcollinsdrumbreak.mp3 - The Phil Collins drum break from In the Air Tonight, sometimes used for dramatic effect.

  • [ Download ] (58k) phonegaybar.wav - "Now hang up the phone alright, 'cause there's a lot of other guys at the gay bar that need to use it, alright?"

  • [ Download ] (66k) phonenancyboy.wav - "Hang up the phone nancy boy. Save your money for when you call 1-900-Make out with a guy!" *crowd cheers*

  • [ Download ] (61k) pianoprodigy.wav - That piano "prodigy" that Mike Clark loves does his thing on a piano

  • [ Download ] (57k) pickafight.wav - Former Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm: "If you're determined to pick a fight, I hope you'll pick on somebody your own size."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (26k) picknose.mp3 - Peter Marolis, some random local guy who went around pretending to be the cousin of Constantine from American Idol: "And this coming from a guy whose only talent is uh, picking his nose with his big toe."

  • [ Download ] (22k) pieceofcrap.wav - Napoleon Dynamite: "It's a piece of crap, it doesn't work"

  • New! [ Download ] (10k) pieceofgarbage.mp3 - Lawyer Mike Rataj: "You piece of garbage."

  • [ Download ] (19k) piehole.wav - Robert DeNiro in "This Boy's Life": "Shut your goddamn piehole!"

  • [ Download ] (19k) piehole2.wav - Robert DeNiro in "This Boy's Life": "Now just shut your goddamn piehole!"

  • [ Download ] (37k) pigskin.wav - Uncle Rico from "Napoleon Dynamite": "Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (373k) pigsnot.mp3 - Anna Nicole Smith talking on the phone to her son Daniel and asking him what he had to eat and he reveals that he ate pig snot.

  • [ Download ] (24k) pilottreat.mp3 - Stone Phillips on "Dateline NBC": "If you have a pilot's license, it's a real treat you can offer friends: a bird's eye view of our nation's most beautiful, rugged scenery"

  • [ Download ] (300k) pindick.mp3 - Some political ads from the heated campaign between "Pindick" and "Shyster"

  • [ Download ] (95k) pissedditka.mp3 - Mike Ditka vs a "gutless wonder" call in Chicago

  • [ Download ] (4.9M) pistonsharrispoll.mp3 - Drew and Mike and a particularly good Harris Poll about the brawl at the Palace back in October 2004

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) pitchedatent.mp3 - Former Detroit City Council President and admitted pedophile Charles Pugh: "I must say that I've pitched a tent."

  • New! [ Download ] (150k) pitchedatentfull.mp3 - The full cut of former Detroit City Council President and admitted pedophile Charles Pugh pitching a tent.

  • [ Download ] (60.8k) planefuel.wav - Some dumb blonde reporter posing a question about the Concorde crash outside of Paris: "Presumably, this - this plane was loaded up with fuel when - when this happened?"

  • [ Download ] (45k) planefuel.mp3 - Frank Turner takes his own turn at recreating the "this plane was loaded up with fuel when this happened?" incident

  • [ Download ] (15k) plantedseed.mp3 - Marguerite Perrin, the psycho from TV's Trading Spouses: "I planted that seed and I will see the harvest."

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) planetearth.mp3 - Mischa Barton, from her incoherent rant: "On planet Earth!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (12k) playahata.mp3 - From the movie Gigli: "Don't be a playa hate-ah!"

  • New! [ Download ] (50k) playcards.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in the movie Sling Blade: "I play cards with J.D. Shelnut, chief of po-lice, so kiss my ass you little bastard."

  • [ Download ] (78k) playoffs.wav - A very distressed coach: "Uh, Playoffs?! Don't talk about- playoffs? You kiddin' me? Playoffs? I'm just hoping we can win a game!"

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) playwithboobies.mp3 - Gina the phone sex operator: "Baby, who doesn't like to play with their boobies?"

  • [ Download ] (416k) politicallycorrectholiday.mp3 - An ad promoting the album, "Have Yourself A Little Politically Correct Holiday"

  • New! [ Download ] (16k) poop.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "Poop!"

  • [ Download ] (11k) poopsmell.mp3 - Oprah Winfrey: "Why does poop smell? And, sometimes it's worse than others"

  • New! [ Download ] (40k) portuguesethankyou.mp3 - From the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were Portuguese I'd say obrigado."

  • [ Download ] (13k) positions.mp3 - Chris Hansen on Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator": "I switch positions a lot, so you're bound to learn a few new tricks"

  • New! [ Download ] (2.8M) possiblycaseyanthony.mp3 - Drew and Mike attempt to contact child murderer Casey Anthony after she was spotted at an Old Navy in Ohio, and it sure sounds like it might actually be her.

  • [ Download ] (18k) potty.mp3 - "I also take my time when I use the potty. Sometimes I even like to look at a picture book." *laughs*

  • [ Download ] (692k) pottychair.mp3 - The Potty Chair song that is sometimes played when talking about or making calls about fecal related matters.

  • [ Download ] (42.1k) powerfulenemy.wav - Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons": "You've made a powerful enemy today my friend."

  • [ Download ] (8k) preacheravailable.mp3 - The swearing "preacher": "I make my ass very available"

  • [ Download ] (5k) preacherbeotch.mp3 - The swearing "preacher": "Beeeotch!"

  • [ Download ] (7k) preacherbitch.mp3 - The swearing "preacher": "Stupid bitch"

  • [ Download ] (104k) preacherdevilliar.mp3 - The swearing "preacher" ranting at a caller: "Who created your ass? I come in the name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. I come in the name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. The Devil is a motherfucking liar, so you know I ain't worried. Beeeotch! Stupid bitch. Look at that. I'm provoking that, huh? That- I'm making motherfuckers just hate God more- I'm provoking that huh?"
    (laughs)
    "You God damn Devil worshipper, you ain't got no excuse. Motherfucker, you ain't- you ain't coming in no- you comin' in the name of Satan"

  • [ Download ] (14k) preacherholyspirit.mp3 - The swearing "preacher": "I come in the name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit, BEEEOTCH!"

  • [ Download ] (59k) preachernameofjesus.mp3 - The swearing "preacher": "You- you ain't callin'- you ain't hearin' me huh? You didn't get it again, I'll say it again. I come in the name of Jesus, repeat after my bitch, I come in the name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit. God Almighty, you know, ruler of Heaven and Earth, and every God damn thing in between. You understand me now?"

  • [ Download ] (52k) preachertrustindevil.mp3 - The swearing "preacher": "You trust in the Devil huh? Well if God sent the Devil in the name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit, then motherfucker, you fucked up huh? You fucked up huh? You know your ass is doomed. What you got to see? If you don't know shit to speaking on this whole um, topic i'm bringing up, shut your God damn ass up." "

  • [ Download ] (23k) pregaygregahhhh.mp3 - Pre-gay Greg from TV's "Curb Your Enthusiasm": "Ah! Nanna, nanna!"

  • [ Download ] (1.4M) pregaygregfull.mp3 - The full audio of pre-gay Greg from TV's "Curb Your Enthusiasm".

  • [ Download ] (14k) pregaygregjews.mp3 - Pre-gay Greg from TV's "Curb Your Enthusiasm": "Get a life jews!"

  • [ Download ] (15k) pregaygregkickhisbutt.mp3 - Pre-gay Greg from TV's "Curb Your Enthusiasm": "I would kick his butt."

  • [ Download ] (15k) pregaygregohmygod.mp3 - Pre-gay Greg from TV's "Curb Your Enthusiasm": "Oh my God! Let me check- what is it?"

  • [ Download ] (16k) pregaygregscream.mp3 - Pre-gay Greg screaming on TV's "Curb Your Enthusiasm"

  • [ Download ] (15k) pregaygregthefashion.mp3 - Pre-gay Greg from TV's "Curb Your Enthusiasm": "The fashion!"

  • [ Download ] (14k) presidentspeaking.mp3 - "You will not speak when President is speaking!"

  • [ Download ] (1.0M) pressconference.mp3 - Drew puts himself in the place of Whitehouse Press Secretary Scott McLellan and answers things the way he thinks should be answered

  • [ Download ] (16k) prettycool.wav - Kip Dynamite: "That's pretty cool I guess"

  • [ Download ] (24.8k) prettydamngay.wav - "You are pretty damn gay."

  • [ Download ] (13k) prettydamngay.mp3 - : "Face it chief, you are pretty damn gay"

  • [ Download ] (16k) prettygood.wav - Kip Dynamite: "That seems pretty good"

  • [ Download ] (26k) prettyracist.mp3 - Andy Samberg: "That's pretty racist, but correct."

  • [ Download ] (21k) prisonfood.mp3 - From the movie The Other Guys: "I hope you like prison food, and penis."

  • [ Download ] (132k) procox.mp3 - The pro-Mike Cox political ad.

  • [ Download ] (313k) promises.mp3 - The Mike Clark promises song. The original song underneath is "Promises, Promises, Promises" by "The Penguins".

  • [ Download ] (39.8k) protein.wav - Richard Hatch, a gay contestant on TV's "Survivor": "You're gonna be so damn full of protein after this meal you won't know what to do with yourself."

  • [ Download ] (8k) pubichair.mp3 - Christian Applegate in "Anchorman": "You have way too much pubic hair"

  • [ Download ] (29.3k) pubiccoke.wav - Anita Hill: "Who has put pubic hair on my Coke?"

  • [ Download ] (143k) pulpfiction.mp3 - A promo for the edited version of "Pulp Fiction" that is more suitable to air on network television.

  • [ Download ] (42.8k) pullignite.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: "Our nation must come together." (farts) "To ignite." (fart)

  • [ Download ] (40.6k) pulllips.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: "Read my lips" (farts)

  • [ Download ] (29.4k) pullosama.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: "Osama" (farts) "Your momma"

  • [ Download ] (35.4k) pullprimeminister.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: "Mr. Prime Minister" (farts)

  • [ Download ] (45.6k) pullproclamation.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: (farts) "That's what I call the flatulation proclamation"

  • [ Download ] (60k) pullsaddam.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: "Hey Saddam, here's a weapon of mass destruction" (farts and then laughs)

  • [ Download ] (39k) pullshit.wav - The Pull My Finger President Bush Doll: (farts) "American I just sh-- in my pants"

  • [ Download ] (34.1k) pullinout.wav - Some trash from a TV talk show: "You ain't puttin' out enough for me so I gotta go somewheres."

  • [ Download ] (109k) pullwrist.mp3 - Drew recalls a story about a mentally challenged guy who liked to masturbate

  • [ Download ] (15k) pumping.wav - A victim of a Chris Farley prank call doing a little improvising of his own: "I guess he's pumping somebody."

  • [ Download ] (12.3k) punch.wav - Somebody getting slugged from the "Happy Gilmore" Adam Sandler flic I do believe.

  • [ Download ] (28k) punchintheface.mp3 - Nick Offerman in TV's "Parks and Recreation": "Never met him. He looks like he could use a swift punch in the face though."

  • [ Download ] (30k) punchmouth.wav - Will Ferrell as "Ron Burgundy": "If you were a man I would punch you. I would punch you right in the mouth"

  • [ Download ] (7k) pussy.mp3 - Danny DeVito from TV's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "Pussy."

  • New! [ Download ] (69k) putbabyinyou.mp3 - Will Forte in The Brothers Solomon: "What do you say we get out of here and I go put a baby in you?"

  • New! [ Download ] (12k) putpantsbackon.mp3 - Ryan Phillippe in MacGruber: "Put your pants back on!"

  • New! [ Download ] (21k) putthatonlist.mp3 - Michael Jackson in the documentary Living with Michael Jackson: "Can you put that on the list?"

  • [ Download ] (156k) python.mp3 - Carolyn Clifford from WXYZ makes a gaffe after reporting on a story involving a python

  • [ Download ] (3k) questionmarkfart.mp3 - What's being called the question mark fart

  • [ Download ] (7k) quiet.mp3 - A passenger yelling at the two psycho Michigan Mikula twins on an airplane flight that diverted to Alaska: "Quiet!"

  • [ Download ] (36k) quitepungent.wav - Will Ferrell as "Ron Burgundy": "It's quite pungent. It stings the nostrils"

  • [ Download ] (7k) quityou.mp3 - Jake Gyllenhaal in "Brokeback Mountain": "I wish I knew how to quit you"

  • [ Download ] (7k) quityou2.mp3 - Someone associated with the making of "Brokeback Mountain" accepting an award: "I wish I knew how to quit you"

  • [ Download ] (8k) racist.mp3 - "I say one thing and i'm a racist"

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) radiocareer.mp3 - FOX2's Rob Wolchek during one of his "Hall of Shame" segments: "Man, this guy's radio career is shot."

  • [ Download ] (37.5k) radioshow.wav - Mr. Burns from the Simpsons: "Great heavens! What kind of radio show is this?"

  • [ Download ] (47k) raggityass.wav - "Shut your raggity ass up and sit the *beep* down."

  • [ Download ] (36k) raisehell.wav - Marisleysis Gonzalez: "If something happens to this boy, I'll raise hell!"

  • New! [ Download ] (18k) randytuning.mp3 - Dwight Yoakam in the movie Sling Blade: "Randy, you tuning son of a bitch!"

  • [ Download ] (1.7M) ratedxmaschokemychicken.mp3 - I Love to Choke My Chicken with My Hand, from the Rated X-mas CD that Marc loved to try and get Drew to play

  • [ Download ] (1.0M) ratedxmasfrosty.mp3 - Frosty the Pervert, from the Rated X-mas CD that Marc loved to try and get Drew to play

  • [ Download ] (984k) ratedxmasrudolph.mp3 - Rudolph the Deep Throat Reindeer, from the Rated X-mas CD that Marc loved to try and get Drew to play

  • [ Download ] (886k) ratedxmassuckonmycock.mp3 - Suck on My Cock, from the Rated X-mas CD that Marc loved to try and get Drew to play

  • [ Download ] (22.4k) rayasshole.wav - Raymond Huffman: "Heh hah hah hah, *beepin* asshole"

  • [ Download ] (207k) raycharles.mp3 - Ray Charles is forced to deal with a heckler who apparently jumps on stage during a live performance.

  • New! [ Download ] (51k) readthebible.mp3 - Billy Bob Thornton in the movie Sling Blade: "I read the Bible quite a bit. I can't understand all of it but I reckon I understand a good deal of it."

  • [ Download ] (26k) readthepaper.wav - Huel Perkins from WJBK: "Come on! Read the paper, watch the news!"

  • [ Download ] (7k) readyhavedick.mp3 - I think this is one of the predators from Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator": "Are you ready to have my di-- in your mouth?"

  • [ Download ] (13.1k) reallytouching.wav - Jim Harper: "It's really touching."

  • [ Download ] (178k) realmenofgenius.mp3 - The Drew and Mike version of the Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" commercials

  • [ Download ] (14.1k) recognize.wav - From "Da Ali G Show": "Recognize!"

  • [ Download ] (12k) rectum.mp3 - Chris Farley: "He says, rectum, damn near killed 'em!

  • New! [ Download ] (22k) redwhiteblue.mp3 - A pro Hillary Clinton redneck: "Red white and blue!"

  • [ Download ] (11k) rehab.mp3 - O.J. Simpson: "You're going into a rehab."

  • [ Download ] (20k) relaxanus.mp3 - From the FOX TV series "House": "I need you to relax your anus."

  • [ Download ] (25k) removepanties.wav - "It would be my honour to remove your panties."

  • [ Download ] (26.6k) renee.wav - "Who the fu-- is Renee Zellweger?"

  • [ Download ] (50k) repeat.wav - Homer Simpson: "Can you repeat the part of the stuff where you said all about the uh, things?"

  • [ Download ] (27k) respectcock.wav - Tom Cruise in "Magnolia": "Respect, the cock!"

  • [ Download ] (15.7k) reverbfart.wav - The reverb fart. Usually used when referring to women like Hillary Clinton.

  • [ Download ] (39k) rewind.wav - "You gotta check your tone girl. Rewind your statement before I fast forward your ass whipping"

  • [ Download ] (30.8k) richardyousuck.mp3 - A portion of a song about how much Richard from Survivor sucks

  • [ Download ] (17.8k) richstupid.wav - Richard Hatch from TV's Survivor: "That was the stupidest thing I ever heard."

  • [ Download ] (10k) rideabike.mp3 - Seth Rogen from "The 40 Year Old Virgin": "Yeah everyone rides a bike, when they're f--king six"

  • [ Download ] (22.9k) ridiculous.wav - Mr. Rogers: "This is perfectly ridiculous."

  • [ Download ] (7k) ridiculous.mp3 - A girl on Dr. Phil's television show complaining about fat people that go on talk shows and get praised for losing weight, meanwhile, she's skinny already and not getting any praise: "This is ridiculous!"

  • [ Download ] (20k) rightontheface.mp3 - A reporter on WXYZ doing a story about an ice sculptor: (sound of ice cutting) "Little more- there we go! Right on the face. That's what i'm talking about"

  • New! [ Download ] (146k) ripdickoff.mp3 - Will Forte in MacGruber: "Let me tell you how this is gonna go down. First I'm gonna kick you in the chin, breaking your jaw in four places. I'm gonna take you and karate flip you over my back, and then knee your nose into your brain, killing you instantly. I do wanna get a throat rip in here- I think that's gonna be you, small fry. One thing I do know, I'm gonna rip your dick off and shove it in your mouth and that is non-negotiable."

  • [ Download ] (24.6k) rippling.wav - Allegedly gay fighter in a Bruce Lee movie: "Oooooh! What rippling muscles!"

  • [ Download ] (81k) riptorndrunk.mp3 - Rip Torn is drunk and disorderly at a police station

  • [ Download ] (33k) rocker.wav - David Spade: "I don't like that crap, I'm a rocker man. Through and through."

  • [ Download ] (31k) rockouttahere.wav - From Def Leppard's song "Let's Get Rocked": "Let's get the rock outta here!"

  • [ Download ] (24k) rockquestion.wav - From Def Leppard's song "Let's Get Rocked": "I suppose a rock's outta the question"

  • [ Download ] (15k) rockwithyou.wav - I believe this is Tommy Lee on TV's "Rock Star: Supernova": "I want to come and rock with you."

  • [ Download ] (58.8k) rod.wav - Rod, the guy who put up a personal ad on a billboard in Times Square: "Hey this is Rod, and uhm, this is what I sound like, so, I hope to hear from you. Take care."

  • [ Download ] (377k) robertblake.mp3 - Robert Blake in a jailhouse interview with Barbara Walters. Who knew? He's gay!

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (77k) rockshelter.mp3 - Debb Eaton, a contestant on Survivor: "We got enough rocks here too, we could build a pretty decent shelter just usin' rocks!"

  • New! [ Download ] (172k) rogerclemens.mp3 - Sportscaster Suzy "Suzyn" Waldman goes apeshit over Rogers Clemens becoming a New York Yankee.

  • [ Download ] (74.0k) rollandrock.mid - The Roland Rock song that was at one time used as a music bed for traffic reports.

  • [ Download ] (30k) romanceinside.wav - Borat from "Da Ali G Show" on an episode of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": "I would like to make romance inside of her."

  • [ Download ] (170k) romefullmacespray.mp3 - A local caller to Jim Rome's show mentions a full mace spray

  • New! [ Download ] (25k) rookie.mp3 - Will Forte in MacGruber: "Sorry about last night. It was a real rookie maneuver."

  • [ Download ] (403k) roundballrock.mp3 - The Roundball Rock lyrics bit from "Saturday Night Live" looped for about a minute: "Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba basketball! Gimme gimme, gimme the ball because I'm gonna DUNK IT!!"

  • [ Download ] (110k) roywilliams.mp3 - Kansas Coach Roy Williams going off on a reporter.

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) runninonemore.mp3 - David Lee Roth: "Runnin' one more time!"

  • [ Download ] (17k) runningforjesus.wav - Homer from "The Simpsons": "I'm not running for Jesus."

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) russianthankyou.mp3 - From the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were Russian I'd say spasibo"

  • [ Download ] (82.3k) saddamchildren.wav - "By all accounts Saddam is a charming and gregarious individual. He likes to tell jokes and is supposedly good with children."

  • [ Download ] (41k) saddamflowers.wav - "To enhance his appealing image, Saddam likes to be surrounded by flowers."

  • [ Download ] (36k) saddamthrob.wav - "It's no secret why Saddam is Iraq's biggest heart throb."

  • [ Download ] (37k) saddestchapter.wav - Homer Simpson: "This closes the saddest chapter in American history"

  • [ Download ] (28.1k) saidteste.wav - "You realize, you just said teste?"

  • [ Download ] (1.3M) saladstory.mp3 - The extended version of Mike Clark's salad story

  • [ Download ] (164k) samjackson1.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Samuel L. Jackson clips. Call #1.

  • [ Download ] (81.2k) samjackson2.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Samuel L. Jackson clips. Call #2.

  • [ Download ] (149k) samjackson3.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Samuel L. Jackson clips. Call #3.

  • [ Download ] (56.3k) samjackson4.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Samuel L. Jackson clips. Call #4.

  • [ Download ] (58k) samjackson5.mp3 - Mike Wolters and Marc try their hand at making a prank call using Samuel L. Jackson clips. Call #5.

  • [ Download ] (2.4M) santa.mp3 - D&M relive the first person they talked to who had their named changed to "Santa Claus"

  • [ Download ] (25.1k) sarcasm.wav - Jack Black: "Is that that new thing called sarcasm?"

  • [ Download ] (25k) satansbutthole.mp3 - Nick Offerman in TV's "Parks and Recreation": "What's it like to stare into the eye of Satan's butthole?"

  • [ Download ] (14k) sausagefest.mp3 - "It's the biggest sausagefest on Earth."
    "It's the international house of sausage"

  • [ Download ] (12k) sawbutthole.mp3 - Peyton Manning in an SNL sketch: "I think I saw his butthole."

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) sayonarabuttface.mp3 - "Sayonara butt face!"

  • [ Download ] (15k) saythat.wav - Kip Dynamite: "You can say that again"

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) scamola.mp3 - Homer on The Simpsons: "Wait a minute. This could be some kind of scam, or possibly scam-ola."

  • [ Download ] (14.9k) schlong.wav - Sound used whenever talk turns to someone who may have a massive erection.

  • [ Download ] (298k) scottvanpelt.mp3 - Scott Van Pelt from ESPN's "SportsCenter" leaves a voicemail to some skank he met

  • [ Download ] (31k) scoutcamp.wav - Napoleon Dynamite: "I already made like infinity of those at scout camp"

  • [ Download ] (36k) screamingbullshit.wav - Drew screaming "BULLSH--!"

  • [ Download ] (38.7k) screech.wav - Raymond Huffman: "I don't want to hurt you."
    Peter Haskett: "You've been- you've been screeching for an hour, now stop it!"

  • [ Download ] (53k) screwoscars.wav - Dunkelman from "American Idol": "Ahhhh, man. Screw the Oscars, that was awesome."

  • [ Download ] (16k) seacrestin.wav - Ryan Seacrest from "American Idol": "Seacrest In"

  • [ Download ] (21k) seacrestout.wav - Ryan Seacrest from "American Idol": "Seacrest OUT!"

  • [ Download ] (39k) sebring.mp3 - Ed Helms in TV's "The Office": "Sebring, by Chrysler. A heck of a motor carriage."

  • [ Download ] (21k) secretsauce.mp3 - Eddie Murphy in "Nutty Professor II: The Klumps": "I bet you could stand for a big ol' Whopper right now huh? Yeah and I'm loaded with secret sauce. C'mon!"

  • New! [ Download ] (52k) securitybreach.mp3 - From South Park: "Security breach!"

  • [ Download ] (24.3k) seeboobs.wav - "C'mere, I want you to see my boobs!"

  • [ Download ] (33.3k) seebust.wav - Some photographer?: "Put your other hand up higher so I can see your bust."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (29k) seegetiton.mp3 - Christian Bale in American Pyscho: "I would just like to see the two of you get it on."

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) seeifyouremember.mp3 - Barry Manilow before inexplicably singing a medley of jingles he wrote: "See if you remember this one!"

  • New! [ Download ] (110k) seemyass.mp3 - Mike Clark's favorite bit of audio from the Amy Fisher sex tape, with the emphasis on the "see my ass" portion.

  • [ Download ] (15k) seeweiner.wav - Tracy Morgan from SNL: "I don't wanna see your weiner!"

  • [ Download ] (21.7k) seeya.wav - Adam Sandler: "Yeah alright, I'll see you guys there." *fart noise*

  • New! [ Download ] (1.6M) segersingstigerssongs.mp3 - From Late Night with Conan O'Brien: Bob Seger reworks his songs to include the Detroit Tigers

  • [ Download ] (2.7M) selectslut.mp3 - Drew and Mike call the "Select A Slut" porn line.

  • New! [ Download ] (56k) selfservinglie.mp3 - Donald Trump: "A total and self serving lie."

  • [ Download ] (36k) sellingass.wav - "I'm selling my ass and that's how it's gonna be!"

  • [ Download ] (38.6k) semen.wav - Al Michaels: "E.D., what's shakin' down there?" Eric Dickerson: "Semen. Back to you Al."

  • [ Download ] (135k) sendinclowns.mp3 - Krusty from the "Simpsons" sings "Send In The Clowns".

  • [ Download ] (57k) seniorcitizens.wav - "Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose"

  • New! [ Download ] (15k) serioustrebek.mp3 - Alex Trebek: "Surely you can't be serious!"

  • [ Download ] (8k) sethrogen.mp3 - Seth Rogen's weird laugh

  • [ Download ] (13k) sexinmouth.mp3 - Borat from "Da Ali G Show": "She was voted uh best sex in mouth"

  • [ Download ] (95k) sexualrelations.wav - Former U.S. President Bill Clintin: "I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again. I need to have sexual relations with Miss Lewinksi. And I worked on her 'til pretty late last night."

  • [ Download ] (7k) sexwithchics.mp3 - Dax Shepard in Idiocracy: "I like havin' sex with chics"

  • [ Download ] (21k) sexytime.wav - The Borat character from "Da Ali G Show": "It's sexy time, yeah!"

  • [ Download ] (210k) sfjacks2003.mp3 - The San Francisco Jacks answering machine message for April 2003.

  • [ Download ] (7k) shadeson.mp3 - George W. Bush: "You gonna ask that question with those shades on?"

  • New! [ Download ] (34k) shakealeg.mp3 - Robert De Niro in Meet the Fockers: "Shake a leg woman!"

  • [ Download ] (34.8k) shakemofo.wav - From "Da Ali G Show": "Yo, boom boom, shake da mofo room"

  • [ Download ] (17k) shametomygame.mp3 - Former Detroit 3rd Circuit Judge Wade McCree: "There's no shame to my game."

  • New! [ Download ] (20k) shamegamewife.mp3 - Former Detroit 3rd Circuit Judge Wade McCree : "I ain't talk to nobody else's wife. Shoot."

  • [ Download ] (58.3k) shaq.wav - This is apparently the outgoing message on Shaquille O'Neal's answering machine: "You know what to do, niggaaaahhhhhhhahhhahhhahhwoooooo"

  • [ Download ] (17.3k) shareheart.wav - "Share your heart with Drew."

  • [ Download ] (3.3M) sharkvlad.mp3 - D&M call Vladimir Vlad about his shark repellent wet suit

  • [ Download ] (49.4k) shatner.wav - Snippet of William Shatner writhing in pain from the lovetrek clip

  • [ Download ] (68k) shatner911.mp3 - William Shatner calls 911 after he discovers his "blue wife" at the bottom of his pool

  • [ Download ] (5k) shavedownthere.mp3 - Chris Hansen in Dateline NBC's "To Catch A Predator": "Do you shave down there?"

  • [ Download ] (231k) shawneckardt.mp3 - The Shawn Eckardt Body Guarding and Counter-Intelligence Agency

  • [ Download ] (6k) shazamm.mp3 - Some flamer from MTV's "Next": "Shazamm!"

  • New! [ Download ] (29k) shebetternotbe.mp3 - An exchange with a woman during the 2016 Baton Rouge, Louisiana floods about her dog. Rescuer: "No, she's gone."
    Woman: "No, no, she better not be!"

  • [ Download ] (8k) shedied.mp3 - Vin Diesel in "Man Apart": "What would you do if she DIED?!"

  • [ Download ] (14k) sheedball.wav - Rasheed Wallace: "The ball don't lie"

  • [ Download ] (73.2k) sheisruff.wav - From the Budweiser Best Man commercial: "She is... ooooh... she is ruff! Ruff. Ruff."

  • [ Download ] (14k) shewasaho.mp3 - From "The 40 Year Old Virgin": "Yeah I remember that girl, she was a ho. Fo' sho."

  • [ Download ] (37k) shitkids.wav - Sh-- out a bunch of kids and you're bound to put a few pounds"

  • [ Download ] (61k) shoother911.mp3 - A woman calls about her out of control 12 year old and the dispatcher replies with "Ok, did you want us to come over and shoot her?"

  • [ Download ] (61k) shortdick.wav - "So if a short dick dude came at you, you like, you found out he had a short dick, you'd still go ahead and get active with him?"

  • [ Download ] (4k) shotgun.mp3 - Steve Carell in "The Office": "Shotgun!"

  • [ Download ] (17.3k) showboobs.wav - Spring Breakers from an episode of the Simpsons: "Show us your boobs!"

  • [ Download ] (15k) showbreasts.wav - "Just shut up and show your breasts."

  • [ Download ] (27.9k) showoffy.wav - From the Budweiser Best Man commercial: "That's obnoxious, so show-offy."

  • [ Download ] (18k) showbreasts.wav - "Just shut up and show your breasts."

  • New! [ Download ] (799k) shrek.mp3 - Monica Conyers calls Ken Cockrel "Shrek"

  • [ Download ] (34.2k) shutmouth.wav - Peter Haskett: "Would you mind shutting your mouth you stupid son of a bitch!"

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (19k) shutup.mp3 - Adam Sandler in Billy Madison: "Shut up!"

  • [ Download ] (11k) shutup2.wav - Denis Leary: "Will you shut up!"

  • [ Download ] (29.3k) shutup3.wav - Robert DeNiro yelling "Shut up!" a lot?

  • [ Download ] (30k) shutup4.wav - Drew yelling "SHUT UP! GOD!"

  • [ Download ] (55k) shutup5.wav - Drew yelling "Shut Up!" a lot with a bonus "I hate you" at the end

  • [ Download ] (25k) shutupandlisten.mp3 - An aggressive 911 caller about a winter wreck on I94 (see 911callerfaced.mp3): "Ok, I want you to shut up and I want you to listen to me very carefully."

  • [ Download ] (16k) shutupbabydick.mp3 - From TV's It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "Shut up, baby dick."

  • [ Download ] (33.9k) shutupmovie.wav - Adam Sandler: "Shut up this movie SUCKS!"

  • [ Download ] (7k) shutupoldman.mp3 - Mr. T: "Shut up old man, I ain't goin' no where"

  • New! [ Download ] (72k) sickbastard.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "What kind of sick bastard is fantasizing about this? On my tax dollars!"

  • [ Download ] (63k) sickpeople.mp3 - A very irate sports coach.

  • [ Download ] (1.2M) silverdome.mp3 - D&M reliving memories of the Pontiac Silverdome

  • [ Download ] (26k) simplemistake.mp3 - Paul Reubens as Pee-wee Herman: "It was a simple mistake and I'm really sorry."

  • [ Download ] (158k) simplythebest.mp3 - A portion of Tina Turner performing The Best that was sometimes played after defeating another caller who attemped to Stump the Staff.

  • [ Download ] (23k) simplythebestabbrev.mp3 - The abbreviated version of Tina Turner performing The Best that was sometimes played after defeating another caller who attemped to Stump the Staff.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (39k) singlemom.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "Yeah well you know, it's tough being a single mom you know."

  • [ Download ] (227k) siskelebert.mp3 - Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert fight while trying to film a promo for their show

  • [ Download ] (30k) sissyfag.mp3 - "Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter in 'The Adventures of Luke Sissyfag'."

  • [ Download ] (97.4k) sitdownwhore.wav - From the "Jerry Springer Show", the crowd chanting "Sit down whore!"

  • [ Download ] (8.8k) skank.wav - "Skank!!"

  • [ Download ] (34k) skankyhoe.wav - Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: "You remind me of Don Ho's daughter, skanky hoe!"

  • [ Download ] (13k) skidmarks.mp3 - A witness from TV's Cops: "You see the skid marks right there."

  • [ Download ] (20k) skidmarks2.mp3 - A police officer on TV's Cops: "Are there two skid marks or just that one set of skid marks?"

  • [ Download ] (14k) skidmarks3.mp3 - A police officer on TV's Cops: "You want me to take pictures of the skid marks?"

  • [ Download ] (20k) skidmarks4.mp3 - A witness from TV's Cops: "And that's the skid marks right there. You can see what she did"

  • [ Download ] (15k) skidmarks5.mp3 - A police officer on TV's Cops: "We'll take pictures of the skid marks there."

  • [ Download ] (242k) slash.mp3 - The "Slash" cologne commercial

  • [ Download ] (24k) sleepseverybody.wav - Homer from "The Simpsons": "That girl sleeps with everybody."

  • [ Download ] (32k) sleeveofwizard.wav - Sacha Baron Cohen as "Borat": "Her vagine hang like sleeve of wizard."

  • [ Download ] (22k) sleptbrother.wav - Larry King: "I slept with my brother. I didn't have any problems."

  • [ Download ] (311k) slingbladeband.mp3 - The band from the movie "Sling Blade" jamming.

  • New! [ Download ] (100k) slingbladejoke.mp3 - Billy Bob Thornton in the movie Sling Blade attempting to tell a joke.

  • [ Download ] (19k) slob.mp3 - "You are a disgusting slob!"

  • [ Download ] (10k) sloppymouth.mp3 - "You got your sloppy mouth all over my breasteseseses"

  • [ Download ] (23.7k) slutslut.wav - "A.K.A. little miss slut-slut."

  • [ Download ] (28.2k) smartest.wav - Adam Sandler: "I am the smartest man alive!"

  • New! [ Download ] (33k) smartguy.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "He's a smart guy, that Rick."

  • New! [ Download ] (23k) smearfeces.mp3 - Danny DeVito in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "When they know they're getting thrown out of a house, they smear feces all over the walls."

  • [ Download ] (23k) smellfart.mp3 - Chuck Berry letting loose on a prostitute: Beeeeeeeeu! "Mmmmhmmm, you can smell my fart".

  • [ Download ] (23k) smellhisfinger.mp3 - Larry Flynt retelling what a comedian had said about him once: "I'd like to just follow him around someday so I can smell his finger."

  • [ Download ] (31.2k) smelllikeshit.wav - The Borat character from "Da Ali G Show": "There is a smell. It smell like-a shit!"

  • [ Download ] (67.2k) smeltit.wav - Ali G from "Da Ali G Show": "Is the definition 'Whoever smelt it, dealt it' or is it 'Whoever said the rhyme committed the crime'?"

  • [ Download ] (73.4k) smile.wav - Some photographer?: "Okay good, now gimme a little smile, come on now. *camera click* Okay."

  • [ Download ] (262k) smokecrack.wav - "Uh, it could have been that crack I smoked earlier I guess."

  • [ Download ] (37k) smokedpot.wav - Homer Simpson: "Oh, I could've smoked that pot"

  • New! [ Download ] (72k) smoothsailing.mp3 - Beavis from Beavis and Butt-Head: "I think uhm, once he does get a job I think everything's going to be smooth sailing."

  • [ Download ] (27k) snifffart.mp3 - The sound of a man inhaling a fart, version one. From TV's South Park.

  • [ Download ] (32k) snifffart2.mp3 - The sound of a man inhaling a fart, version two. From TV's South Park.

  • [ Download ] (27k) snifffart3.mp3 - - The sound of a man inhaling a fart, version three. From TV's South Park.

  • [ Download ] (41k) snoopmessage.mp3 - Snoop Dogg's voicemail to Dieter Zetsche requesting a new 300C: "Yo, what up? This is big Snoop Dogg, trying to put these new legs down for this new 300C. What I gotta' do to get that brand new C up outta' you? Get back in contact with my nephew so he can make it happen, man it's official like a referee with a whistle. If you want this car to blow, give to me. This is Snoop Dogg. Preach!"

  • [ Download ] (24k) soakingwet.mp3 - "Stewie Griffin" from "Family Guy": "Oh God, I bet that diaper is soaking wet."

  • [ Download ] (37.8k) societyfault.wav - Homer Simpson: "Which is society's fault because..."

  • [ Download ] (37k) soblack.mp3 - Wolf Blitzer on CNN's "The Situation Room" during around the clock Hurricane Katrina coverage: "So many of these people- almost all of them that we see, are so poor, and they are so black, and this is going to raise lots of questions for people who are watching this story unfold."

  • [ Download ] (13k) socialmedia.mp3 - FOX Sports reporter Erin Andrews interviewing MLBer Adam Wainwright: "Don't you love social media?"

  • [ Download ] (53.5k) soclever.wav - Larry David from "Curb Your Enthusiasm": "Hahaha, how did you ever come up with something like that? You are so clever."

  • [ Download ] (40.2k) socute.wav - The Bruno character on "Da Ali G Show": "You got a kinda very manly look. When did you get to be so cute?"

  • New! [ Download ] (51k) sodamngood.mp3 - Huel Perkins reading a text message between Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty: "You made me feel so damn good that night!"

  • [ Download ] (30k) sodomy.wav - Marv Albert's taxi driver?: "All of the sodomy that was committed was volunteered."

  • [ Download ] (37.1k) sofucked.wav - Mike in reference to the blowhorn Drew sometimes like to blow off on the air: "That thing is so f---ed!"

  • [ Download ] (31k) sofuckinghot.wav - Pat O'Brien from his sex voicemails: "You are so ----ing hot"

  • [ Download ] (75k) sogay.wav - "I'm super gay, I'm mega, I'm gay-normous. I'm SO, GAY."

  • [ Download ] (28k) sogay2.wav - "That guy is so gay my ass hurts"

  • [ Download ] (21k) sohot.wav - John Madden: "I think that the guy is so hot."

  • [ Download ] (31k) solovesher.wav - Mike in reference to Ozzy Osbourne and his wife Sharon: "Aw man, he so loves her. Wow."

  • [ Download ] (17.6k) somelanguage.wav - Homer from "The Simpsons": "That's some language ya got there!"

  • [ Download ] (13.6k) somethinggay.wav - Mr. Burns from the Simpsons: "Something gay no doubt"

  • [ Download ] (16.2k) someweiner.wav - Alec Baldwin from SNL: "Is that some weiner or what?"

  • [ Download ] (29k) sommyalpha.mp3 - Billy Tamai aka "Sommy", the supposed mastermind hacker from Emeryville, ON reciting part of the alphabet

  • [ Download ] (56k) sommyjail.mp3 - A clip of Canadian police talking to "Sommy" over the phone, which turned out just to be a kid named Billy Tamai playing a prank on his infinitely stupid parents in Emeryville, Ontario. Police Officer: "You want to give yourself up and get this over with?"
    Sommy: "I can't do that."
    Police: "Why not?"
    Sommy: "Well because I'd go to jail."

  • [ Download ] (37.5k) sonsofbitches.wav - Richard Hatch, a contestant on TV's Survivor: "Which one of you sons of bitches wrote my name on a card last night?"

  • [ Download ] (8k) sorry.wav - Simon from "American Idol": "Sorry."

  • [ Download ] (35k) sorry2.wav - A second version of Simon from "American Idol" saying "Sorry".

  • [ Download ] (26k) sorrylittlefishy.mp3 - Anna Nicole Smith, from her TV show: "I'm sorry little fishy."

  • [ Download ] (26k) sorryloss.wav - Dylan from "Beverly Hills 90210": "Tell him that I'm very sorry for his loss."

  • [ Download ] (7k) sorrynext.mp3 - Some flamer on MTV's "Next": "I'm sorry but, next!"

  • [ Download ] (16k) sosensitive.mp3 - Will Arnett in the movie Hot Rod: "Oh my God, this one is so sensitive."

  • [ Download ] (25.1k) sosmart.mp3 - Homer Simpson: "I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!"

  • [ Download ] (13k) soulpatrol.mp3 - Taylor Hicks, the winner of the fifth season of "American Idol", yelling out his retarded "Soul Patrol!"

  • [ Download ] (15.5k) soundlikedick.wav - "I sound like a dick!"

  • [ Download ] (35.3k) soundsgood.wav - Jim Carrey in "Dumb and Dumber": "Mmmm, that sounds good. I'll have that."

  • [ Download ] (27.5k) soundshot.wav - Jack Black in "Shallow Hal"?: *laughs* "She sounds hot!"

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) spanishthankyou.mp3 - From the funeral of Rosa Parks: "If I were Spanish I'd say gracias."

  • [ Download ] (16.5k) spankin.wav - "Somebody wants a spankin'."

  • [ Download ] (34k) spartansgay.wav - "You read about the Spartans, they were all homosexuals, the whole lot of 'em."

  • [ Download ] (77k) spartanvictory.mp3 - Mike Clark leaves a gloating voicemail to Wolters after a Spartan victory over the Wolverines presumably.

  • [ Download ] (26.8k) spartyon.wav - Some random drunk MSU student: "Sparty on! Ahhhhhhhh!"

  • [ Download ] (7k) speakspanish.mp3 - Will Ferrell in "Anchorman": "You know I don't speak Spanish"

  • [ Download ] (68k) spellingbeecomedian.mp3 - Some comedian at a spelling bee spits out a Napoleon Dynamite quote before spelling his word

  • [ Download ] (38k) spendtaxdollars.mp3 - Beavis from TV's Beavis and Butt-head: "Yeah you know, it's about time they spend my tax dollars on something I can use. Know what I'm saying?"

  • [ Download ] (29.3k) sports.wav - Homer Simpson clip that used to be played often before sports news segments: "Sports sports sports sports sports sports sports sports!"

  • [ Download ] (479k) sportsfantasy.mp3 - Another Mike Clark golf fantasy and Drew's Pistons fantasy

  • [ Download ] (98k) spreewell.wav - Lattrell Spreewell tells another player to suck his dick

  • [ Download ] (115k) spursannouncer.mp3 - Drew and Mike remark about how bad the San Antonia Spurs' public address guy sounds

  • [ Download ] (14k) squeezemybutt.mp3 - Louie Anderson on TV's "Splash": "I gotta squeeze my butt!"

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) stillhateyou.mp3 - Will Forte in MacGruber: "I'm starting to like this guy. Just kidding! I still hate you."

  • [ Download ] (28k) stillrealtome.mp3 - Wrestling super fan David Wills getting very emotional about this "sport": "It's still real to me damn it! I mean..."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (18k) stanley.mp3 - Diane Sawyer interviewing Tom Cruise: "Stanley"

  • [ Download ] (9k) startrockin.mp3 - From an irate listener's voicemail to WRIF: "Start rockin'! NOW!"

  • [ Download ] (176k) startrockincall.mp3 - An irate listener calls WRIF and leaves a voicemail complaining about their format

  • [ Download ] (20k) startthisonejack.wav - Fifi LaRue aka Feces LaRue, auditioning for FOX's "The Next Great American Band": "Start this one jack!"

  • [ Download ] (34.9k) stayawake.wav - Mark from the Holiday Inn commercial: "I can't stay awake. I just get in bed and it's like, out."

  • [ Download ] (11k) steveodrunklove.mp3 - A drunk Steve O: "I love Adam Carolla so hard"

  • [ Download ] (16k) steveodrunkstrangle.mp3 - A drunk Steve O: "I'm about to strangle you out of your unconsciousness"

  • New! [ Download ] (44k) stevespurrier.mp3 - Steve Spurrier while coach of the South Carolina Gamecocks: "I went down to the player's locker rooms, they're all over there, and I physically jerked a bunch of 'em off."

  • New! [ Download ] (138k) stevespurrierfull.mp3 - The full clip of Steve Spurrier (while coach of the South Carolina Gamecocks) telling reporters about how he ripped down a bunch of signs in the player's locker room that said "Beat Clemson", or, more likely, how he jerked off a bunch of his players.

  • New! [ Download ] (37k) stillsleeping.mp3 - John Madden's FAKE sleeping excuse: "No no no, I'm still sleeping."

  • [ Download ] (17k) stinksex.wav - From the movie "Super Troopers": "It's stinks like sex in here."

  • [ Download ] (34k) stopit.mp3 - A fat kid named Jonathon Garza being rescued after having lodged himself into a sewer while apparently trying to retrieve a wrench: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, no more!!! No! Stop it!"

  • [ Download ] (20k) stopitjackson.wav - WXYZ's Stephen Clark: "Stop it Michael Jackson."

  • [ Download ] (5k) stoplaughing.mp3 - Jerry Seinfeld: "Stop laughing it's not funny"

  • New! [ Download ] (42k) stoplooking.mp3 - Steve Little in Eastbound & Down: "Stop looking at me shit! Stop it!"

  • [ Download ] (13.7k) stopped.wav - O.J. Simpson from a 911 tape: "She needs to be stopped!"

  • [ Download ] (30k) stoppedtheclock.mp3 - From the infamous 2001 MSU vs Michigan football game where the Spartans defeated the Wolverines 26-24 amid allegations the clock should have run out on a previous play. Michigan commentator Frank Beckmann: "-spikes the ball. They stop the clock when they shouldn't have."

  • [ Download ] (74k) stoppedtheclockcountdown.mp3 - From the infamous 2001 MSU vs Michigan football game the Spartans defeated the Wolverines 26-24 amid allegations the clock should have run out on a previous play. Michigan commentator Frank Beckmann: "6-5-4-3-2-1. Smoker spikes the ball. They stop the clock when they shouldn't have."

  • [ Download ] (1.23M) strangebutreal.mp3 - Drew and Mike find a phone listing of strange but real names and call the people up.

  • [ Download ] (1.2M) strangebutreal2.mp3 - Drew and Mike with a new strange but real name, preceeded by a call to a cop who almost killed someone while taking a dump

  • [ Download ] (49k) strapon.wav - "I haven't seen chemistry like that since Rosie O'Donnell poked Tom Cruise with her strapon"

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) stealit.mp3 - Jon Glaser on Parks and Recreation: *laughing* "I like that. I'm going to steal it. That's mine now."

  • New! [ Download ] (76k) steroids.mp3 - Danny McBride in Eastbound & Down:"Obviously I'm not going to need steroids once I'm fucking in shape, this is just to kick start the training dude."

  • New! [ Download ] (332k) steroidsfull.mp3 - The full cut of Danny McBride in Eastbound & Down trying to procure some steroids.

  • New! [ Download ] (13k) strongpeople.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Look at the strong people."

  • [ Download ] (301.6k) strungoutelvis.mp3 - Elvis Presley trying to convince the crowd that he isn't "strung out" as reported in the media at the time.

  • [ Download ] (201k) stumpstaffintro.mp3 - The intro to the "Stump The Staff" game D&M sometimes play with the listeners

  • New! [ Download ] (31k) stunksobad.mp3 - Michael Jackson being interview on 60 Minutes: "And it stunk so bad."

  • [ Download ] (34.5k) stupidquestion.wav - William Shatner in response to a question by some D.J. about toupees: "That is a stupid question, by a rather stupid person"

  • [ Download ] (10k) stupidestidea.mp3 - "That's an awful a lot of money for the stupidest idea i ever heard"

  • [ Download ] (44k) stutteringgore.mp3 - Al Gore trying to answer a question but has trouble getting the words out.

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (39k) subwayretard.mp3 - From the movie Just Friends: "So uh, how'd you lose all that weight? Like that retard from subway?"

  • [ Download ] (266k) subwaywhore.mp3 - Jared Fogel makes an appearance after a football game to whore Subway some more

  • New! [ Download ] (17k) suchaniceguy.mp3 - Donald Trump during his 2016 Presidential campaign: "Aw, he's such a nice guy."

  • [ Download ] (57.5k) suckbigdicks.wav - From the movie "Heathers": "I like to suck big dicks. Mmmmm, mmmmmm. Oh, oh."

  • New! [ Download ] (166k) suckdickjointeam.mp3 - Will Forte and Ryan Phillippe in MacGruber: "I will suck your dick. I will suck your fucking dick, I will do it, just join my team. I'll suck your dick. You can fuck me or get fucked by me. You can watch me fuck something. Just point at something in the room and I'll fuck it for you. Come on, just tell me what you want me to fuck!"
    "Jesus Christ, MacGruber!"
    "Just tell me what you want me to fuck!"

  • [ Download ] (65.2k) sucksausage.wav - Tom Cruise in "Magnolia": "We like to celebrate St. Suck my big fat fucking sausage!"

  • [ Download ] (18k) sucksomedick.mp3 - Propecia the crack ho: "You need to learn how to suck some goddamn dick."

  • [ Download ] (187k) sumtingwong.mp3 - San Francisco's KVTU reveals the pilots of Asiana Flight 214 as being "Sum Ting Wong, We Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk", and "Bang Ding Ow".

  • [ Download ] (35.5k) sunglassesinside.wav - "You know who wheres sunglasses inside? Blind people and assholes."

  • [ Download ] (50k) sundayschool.wav - Charles Manson: "I'm a convict. I'm an outlaw. I'm a rebel. I'm not a sunday school teacher."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (379k) superbowl.mp3 - Greg Lloyd wants everyone to listen to him swear on live TV after winning the Superbowl: "Listen, we'd like to pause for a minute. Listen... Listen... Listen...Listen...Guys, we've waited for one whole year to get this trophy and it means so much to everybody in here that I don't think, you know, it go without adieu(?). This thing belongs to Mr. Rooney, it belongs here, and let's see if we can bring this damn thing back here next year along with the fucking Superbowl. Here we go."

  • Upgrade! [ Download ] (19k) surrender.mp3 - An irate old man on Cops: "Alright! I surrender!"

  • [ Download ] (145k) survivortheme.mp3 - The theme music to TV's Survivor.

  • [ Download ] (726k) swearslips.mp3 - Trudi makes a slip up and swears during a newscast, prompting D&M to relive some other moments

  • [ Download ] (22k) sweatyturd.wav - Brian Posehn: "What a sweaty piece of turd that was."

  • [ Download ] (251k) swiftboat.mp3 - Drew and Mike version of the anti-John Kerry swift boat ads

  • [ Download ] (13k) swingingtess.mp3 - "Swinging was Tess's idea. She heard about it from a girlfriend and was intrigued."

 
 

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